Thank you for stopping by to perv on my blog, as I fight myself to change my old habits and make new ones to get fit. I don't get it right all the time, but I'm still here and I'm still working at it.

Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!

My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Tuesday Post holiday ug

Today I did not want to get out of bed... blarg... Tuesdays.

Work has been hellish and continues that way. I'm escaping into blog land on my lunch while I crunch raw red peppers and type away.

This Friday is our company Christmas party. I have decided that I will not eat while I'm there. The temptation once I start will be too great. However, there is a great alternative there since they are doing a casino theme.... there is going to be 4 Wii stations set up and we get to play and compete on them for tickets. There will be regular gambelling as well, then you use your ticket winnings to bid on games and prizes. I'm hoping to win a Wii! Competitive Spirit... full on!

Water right now is: 84 ounces

Here is todays food. I'm particularly pleased with my Fat and Protein intake today:

Mix N' Mash - chicken breast, egg whites, par boiled rice and roasted peppers/onions

Fit Mac - whole wheat pasta shells, ground turkey, onions and spices, low fat cheese

Americano (one of my favs) - 3oz tenderloin, smashed red potatoes, egg whites.

Monday, November 29, 2010

I have an inch that I just can't scratch!

I did my inches today.....

and I've lost 4.25 of them! Weeeeeee!!!!!!

Neck - 16.25 (-.25)
Bust - 49 (-2)
Ribs - 44.5 (-)
Waist - 50.25 (-1.25)
Hips- 54 (-)
R Thigh - 26 (+.5)
L Thigh - 26 (-)
R Calf - 18 (-)
L Calf - 19 (-)
R Bicep - 15.25 (-.25)
L Bicep - 15 (-1)

Food Today

Food today is going really well.

It was lunch before I even noticed it, which means my trial elimination of my mid morning snack... or "second breakfast" as the hobbit side of me likes to call it... has not been missed. Excellent.

Todays breakfast was my favorite My Fit Foods breakfast - the Good Morning Sunshine. Its a very nice protein bomb of ground turkey, eggwhites with spices and mixed with parboiled rice, celantro and some pico de gialo. So delishious.

Lunch is the chiken & berry salad over a bed of spinach, with a little goat cheese, red onion and a EVOO and balsamic vinegar dressing. I added a cut up granny smith to it for some extra omph.

I've already had 81oz of water and one 12 ounce coffee today which is 93 out of the 200 I'm aiming for. That should be no trouble for today.

I'm particularly pleased with my proteins today. 106.5 grams. Fats are only 10.8g over, most of which is the good fats in the EVOO and balsamic dressing.

Just finished my foraged grapefruit. It was so yummy. All set for an afternoon of water. Snack time at 3pm, second snack at 5pm, walk in the park at 6.30, dinner at 7.30 and done for the night.

Here is the food all laid out:

Monday Weigh In

Happy to report that this mornings weigh in was 288lbs

I have recovered from last weeks gain of 6lbs and am back down.

Also...period starts! *PHEW*

Tonight I'm going to do my inches and perhaps new photos. We shall see what time allows.. I have grapefruit hunting to do as well as The Walking Dead to watch! ;)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Sunday food & Weekly total

Got my food all planned out for today. Well on track and happy.

I weighed in for Allan's challenge this morning and was down to 288.4lbs. Which is down 5.6lbs from last week...where I gained 6. I'm going to chalk that up as a minor victory.

I'm still a little bloated as my period is late (AGGG!!! I know!! - I'm hoping it is the stress and sickness that is keeping it on hold...not anything else) and of course, I hadn't had my morning poop yet. That was just for you Allan, cause I know you love reading about us ladies and our BM's!! HA!!

Tomorrow is my official weigh in.. so I'm really excited to see where I will be.

The weekly total came in under my allotted calories. I'm higher on fats and lower on proteins and carbs. I'm going to make a concerted effort this week to get MORE protein. Need that good stuff to stay full and keep the "crazy" at bay.

119.2 * 9 = 1,072.8 calories
-290.1 * 4 = -1,160.4 calories
-330.6 *4 = -1,322.4 calories

I have most of next weeks food planned out. Things are looking good and I'm feeling a lot happier and more confident about staying well under my 1980 calorie limit.

Todays food:

Challenge stuff. Phase 3, the Spawn of SDDDC

1. Starts on Tuesday December 7 and runs until December 31
2. We will be put into 2 groups and provided with menus/choices that will make us smile at
1,200 calories per day (I won't be going all the way down to 1200. But I will be eating less).
3. Weigh-ins every Sunday
4. At minimum... I will have to follow the same rules as Phase 2

This is totally doable and I've been upsetting myself unnecessarily and bothering Allan. I'm really enjoying phase 2. Really enjoying it!! I'm excited to be carrying on for another month on the challenge for December.

Eff U Holiday Food I'm not your slave anymore.

Today I bought a goal shirt. A black Nike hoodie for Christmas. XL. :) I'm excited to be able to get into it in December.

Wild Grapefruit!!!

Hubby and I got up nice and early this morning (for a weekend) and went down to the park to walk. Its so gorgeous out this time of year I like to get out as much as possible.

As we were walking along, enjoying the sunshine and the birds and trees and breeze I saw something in the forest.... something... fruity.... can you see it....

I stop and pointed... is that a lemon tree? Pears?

My poor Canadian brain couldn't wrap around what damn fruit could be growing wild in the middle of the park in winter... relative winter of course, since I'm in shorts and back home it is -25 celcius. ha!

We went in closer for investigation. GRAPEFRUIT. Wild bloody Grapefruit, just beautiful and full...hanging there on branches .. I've never seen grapefruit on a tree before!!! There they were... right in front of me 25feet in from the forest edge. Free for the taking!!!

We bushwacked in a little (I dont know if you know what "forest" is like in Texas...but its pretty hellishly dense) went and the husband and I pulled the branches down and picked some. We debated... can they be ripe?

So we peeled one... it looked good....the flesh was that deep pinky orange...so I ate some. It was one of the best damn grapefruits I've ever had. So on the way back we picked some more. Now I have them sitting at home in a bowl. YAY!! I'm going back tomorrow to get some more after work.

I mean.. come on.. they are free and it doesnt get much fresher than that!!!


If you go out in the woods today,
you're in for a big surprise.
If you go out in the woods today,
you might be able to summize.
That there is fruit just hanging on trees,
and you can take whatever you please,
because today there is grape-fruit in the for-est!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Saturday Totals

Done and done. I have my water in me, and I might have a nice hot cuppa mint tea later as we settle in to watch a movie. But food today is finished.

1785/1980 not too shabby! Weight in tomorrow. I didn't peak today so I'm excited.

Fears & Food

We managed to get up early and have very nearly kicked the last of this cold to the curb! We had to put on some long sleeves and a vest - hubby wore a hat even!! There was a lovely chill in the air. 35min walking was a nice start back into it. Sun was out and felt great to get out and about.

Friday I had my food well planned, but got off the rails when I went out to do some crafts with a friend who also was going to serve lunch... she didn't. So I went from 11.30am to 5.30pm having a tea and rice krispy square. Not great choices, but that was all. Then, of course. Overate for dinner since I was "famished".

The total damage was not too bad, over by 131calories/2090. What I dislike is my 'need' to overfeed when I get too far under. Which parlays me into this....

I know that phase three of the Challenge is coming and that we are going to have to reduce calories... and I'm not too proud to say that this scares the shit out of me.

I am doing well right now with my goal of 2090 calories. I feel happy and satisfied for 90% of the days. I don't worry about food too much and I have a little leeway for uncalculated errors.

Dropping calories for me is one of those old diet behaviors that in the past had gone... shall we say... poorly. The lower the calories, the more I obsess about what food I can have, when I can have it, how many times a day I get it, where its going to be, how big it is... ahhhhhhhh BINGE.

This is something that I want to avoid. I want to avoid the feelings of crazy food obsessive feelings and the imagined starvation/deprivation that lead me down the eventual path of "I deserve it because I've been so good". Once I get off the rails... its a long hard path back down.

Yesterday I set out my new goals for 1800 a day. Which is the caloric level for a 165lbs person. I do not want to be 165. So there is a lot of turmoil in Tamzin brainland. Lose weight faster vs risk of binging...what to do.. should I, shouldn't I, what if I can't. Etc ad nausium.

What I really wish is that the mental part of this was easier for me; that I had the kind of iron will that a lot of bloggers do. Not just the will of our fearless leader of the DDDYchallenges, there are so many men and women out there that just say NO, and do it. Its something that I marvel and covet.

So after all that I've decided to move my goals a little. I've changed my current calories to 1980. Which is the caloric goal of someone who is 180lbs. I'm comfortable with that. So it shall be for the next week or so until I can reach a little further comfortably.


Today is great, I'm feeling good. Had my walk, lots of water. Lunch is underway and we are making some My Fit Food cabbage rolls from their great Good Morning Sunshine breakfast. Hubby is steaming cabbage and the GMS is a mix of egg white, ground spiced turkey, herbs and rice. Its going to be awesome.

This evening is leftovers for dinner and a couple of netflicks movies, then early to bed!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Post Turkey Day Success

I have to say that this was certainly one of the most successful Turkey days that I've ever had.

Now that must be noted... down here in the Saaowth, my family is a family of 3. Today Thanksgiving was only special because we actually cooked. Back home it would have been harder with a TG dinner that would have been 30 strong, formal dinner, where everyone acts like a competitive eater. However this is a good start!

This is what I had yesterday.

**just for entertainments sake, can I just say that beets are natures way of reminding you that you are what you eat! haha

In the afternoon We met up with some friends that were opting out of Turkey day to go and see the new Harry Potter movie on the IMAX. AWESOME!! I'm a fan of course... wore my witches hat! ha! We got a small coke zero (of which I had a single sip and lost interest, but did finish 1L of water) and NO treats. ALLAN!!! aren't you proud?!

Of course, I was so full from my giant (hilarious to me that I can now tell people that the lunch I had was giant) lunch of turkey/veg etc filled me up that there was not even a hint of desire for anything else.

We went back over to the friends house for an evening of socialization. The husbands had scotch. The ladies had Vanilla Cherry Tea. At about 8pm we were served some cheese and crackers. I had an ounce of brie and stepped away.

I went to bed hungry and happy. It was a fabulous day.

Now I'm guessing that Phase Three of Allan's challenge is starting. (sorry Allan - the details are semi fuzzy to me). But I read today that we are to start dropping our calories. So I have my new plan that is going to be this.

Daily Calories: 1800

Daily g Carb: 248
Daily g Fat: 40
Daily g Proteins: 113

Daily Water is still the same - aiming for about 200 ounces of water a day.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving Craft...completed!

I'm crafty!!!! Evil Pie!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Sadly, I'm not enjoying the day off as I had originally planned... long walk in the park and lots of activities. Ug. Stupid sickness.

I'm getting some crafts ready to keep my hands busy, and I am in the middle of a good book. So I have lots to keep me distracted.

The hubby and I have an afternoon date to go and see Harry Potter on the IMAX with some friends. I can't wait. I have my plan all ready - some pre-measured out almonds and water to be smuggled in. NO POPCORN.

Turkey day is going to be easy, I've already decided. I am NOT going to struggle with decision making. I have done my calculations. I know what I'm having and that is going to be it. We have a small little family here - there will be three at dinner.

I will be having:

- Turkey breast
- Roasted Beets and Brussels sprouts
- Roasted Sweet potato and Turnips (both of those will be done with a little rosemary and EVOO on a pan in the oven)
- Sweet Potato creme brulle (I picked it up last night from a lunch place that I went to last week).

No left over pie to indulge in. Hurray!!!! There is also going to green bean casserole, rolls, stuffing, butter, gravy and cranberry sauce... but I am NOT going to be having any of that.

Alright, time to get showered and start getting crafty on my day off and get that WATER in me! YEEEHAW!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Well. I'm on the mend!!

Slept late and have been puttering all morning. I finally got out of the house and took advantage of my extra time to go take the Christmas gifts to the post office and mail everything off to the GWN (great white north!). That venture is always painful, even if you have all day to stand around.

I got a pretty wide birth though, sniffling and coughing does that! ha!! TYPHOID TAMZIN on the prowl.

Food hasn't been too appealing, so yesterday and today calories are low. Given my last weigh in... I can use all the help I can get. Husband picked up some G2 Gatorade (the low calorie stuff) to help me keep the fluids high and some electrolytes coming in. I just finished my lunch of 4 little buckwheat waffles dry.

I'm going to get on netflicks now and relax with my warm blanket on the couch and see if a nap can happen!

Amended food from Tuesday:

Wednesdays food:

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

more sicker...not less!

POOP!! I haz more sickness, not less sickness. :(
  • long hot lavendar bath w/ book. check
  • not in the mood for any solids, husband got me extra spicy tom yum chicken soup. check
  • about time to re-medicate and pass out for as long as possible. check
I looked a mess laying in bed watching biggest loser make over week where they see thier families...omg... crying, snot flying, tissue everywhere. HAHA I shall leave you with that image.

Over and out.

Tuesdays Plan

Ahh Tuesday. The day before the day before turkey day.

I'm getting sicker. I had a salad planned for lunch, but you know when you are sick... lettuce is really not appealing.

I ventured out into wild territory.... the cafe on the first floor of our building to see if there was any good soup to be had....

Italian Wedding!! YUM! and not that bad for you. 2 cups was 240 calories of hot yummy goodness.

I'm going to struggle through the rest of today, I have too much work to go home sick. But tonight I'm going to just take it nice and easy. I have three books on the go as well. Hot lavender bath, finish a book and bed time. Maybe an episode of Fringe too... we shall see.

Water today is at 76.9 ounces. I'm about to go and get another cup of green tea and refill my water bottle. Got to get the wet stuff in me.

Food today:

Regroup Monday

Monday ended up being a good day.

Thank you all for your supportive comments. Its always good to get a peepee spank and some love when you need to regroup and head in the right direction again. I certainly was wandering off the path too much.

Monday I had my meal plan and stuck to it in spite of the many temptations that are around me every day. I got my week half planned. I have my lists for food to pick up, and what I'm going to eat over the holidays.

I feel good about my choices and that's a great feeling. I need to recapture that more often.

Hubby and I went for a walk last night - about 2.5miles. It is so nice out here now, I love it. Tee shirt and shorts weather! We ate dinner and watched yesterday The Walking Dead, then went to bed early.

Sadly I can feel a sickness building in my ear and throat. I'm taking many preemptive methods today to get rid of it (hot tea, Listerine gargle). Nothing makes me madder than getting sick while I'm supposed to be enjoying my holidays from the office.

Here is Mondays food: 1960 calories out of 2090.

Water was a total of 182.5oz

Today is looking good too! :) Food is all packed for work, have my dinner at home and I'm looking forward to a bath and some biggest loser tv tonight.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Frightening Weigh In

Sadly, this is not a halloween scare, nor is a 1st of April joke. Todays scale showed a weeks worth of poor chioces.

294lbs, which is a gain of 6lbs.

If you want to see my reasons/excuses go here. But the real reason is that I've eaten out this week 5 times. And not the healthy stuff either.

My bowels are bunged up, my body is retaining water, I'm puffy and struggled to get my rings on today. So... no great revelation. Follow the right path and don't let daily indulgences start getting in the way of progress.

I'm also pre-period, which is hard. I read a lot of stuff at Lyn on Escape from Obesity and she has been tracking her emotions and cravings with her cycle for some time now. I'm about to do the same. Seems that this last week is always bad for me and once i indulge once.. the snowball effect that has on my eating is huge.

Regardless, my eating habits are slipping and I'm battening down the hatches for this week.

More water, better mental rehearsing, and constant vigilance! That is what this week will be all about.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sunday Roundup and week evaluation

Well Sunday is almost done and we finished a marathon day with friends that is a love hate for me.

Its a gaming group and the people there are some of the statistical averages for North Americans... fat. Like me, but with more heavily ingrained senses of entitlement for food. Like the one that was there today who ate a giant box of peppermint chocolates all to herself because they are only available at Christmas time. I see myself deep inside there and it scares me.

So today was not great eating wise. This is a once a month thing and I know its always going to be a problem. I try hard on some things and let other things slide...

I did some great stuff though.

1. no grazing. There is always a tray of meat, cheese and crackers out. I had ZERO!
2. drank my water!!
3. brought half of our lunch.

We had a group order from the Chinese place. Husband and I had veggie dumpling and shared a My Fit Foods lunch. It was great.

I also did some bad stuff:

1. I had half a pumpkin loaf with my coffee at Starbucks this morning
2. I had 3 Hershey's kisses
3. I had a piece of birthday cake

I weighed in this morning for Allans SDDDY challenge. I'm a +6. All this week I've been up. Ever since Mondays 288 weigh in it shot back up 3, 4, 5, 8, 2, 6... Needless to say this has been a hellish week.

I've had over 180 ounces of water every day, ate my calories (just under and just over) all week. So...as I have been chastised today at our fearless leaders blog... rightly so.

SO now I sit here and I say to myself. Self.... what is different this week that did that.

1. Sleep. I've had a really poor week for sleep
2. pre period... this is always my worst week right before it starts.
3. poor eating habits slowly creeping back in.

So yes, there are many factors here at play. I will weigh in tomorrow and see if my dinner on Saturday night was a big factor in that number (even though I know I've been up all week). Mostly I think its the little things that I've done.

Namely the poor eating habits that I've had:

Monday - added in a bagel with my lunch
Tuesday - lunch out with dessert
Wednesday - dinner out for pizza
Thursday - extra coffee & cream
Friday - extra coffee & cream, martini & husband brought me home 2 chocolates from the grocery store... which I ate.
Saturday - Lunch and Dinner out

Wow, I'm a regular f*cking Sherlock Holmes.

Now... I've counted the calories and I know that I did NOT eat enough food to gain 6 bloody pounds this week.. however all the hidden salt and fat in the food that I did have has filled me up to a giant puffy balloon. The 2.5L of water I had last night before bed time is in there, and the fact that I've been pretty irregular... that hasn't helped either.
Here are the weekly numbers. And despite all the poor choices, I didn't go over my weekly calories. But as you can see here... I do eat a lot of fat.

So. Monday... back on the plan. No more little slips and excuses.

Happily, I'm a Canuck. Thanksgiving was last month - so I don't have to worry about the dinner plans this week. I'm getting 2 days off work to go and enjoy myself and not worry about massive family dinners and all that shit.

Right... here is today food and the weekly round up.

Places I've peed this week

- craft store
- restaurant
-friends homes
-gas stations (oh the shame)
- home

lost and lots of water. Its crazy. I peed 3 times last night in an hour and a half.

Right. Time to eat my breakfast and get moving. We have a day with friends planned. I'm bringing fruit and grapefruit sparkling water! :)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Saturday Walkies!

Ahhh Saturday!!! So lovely!

First of all.. by request.. I present to you ... my toes. Orange is my favorite colour (no kidding eh!?) and these are a nice bronze Orange sparkly happy Thanksgiving polish. I love it.

(pardon the socks lines...we were out walking!)

I had a sewing club meeting this morning at 10am. Got up and showered, had my oatmeal and a Starbucks and enjoyed an extended morning social. Stopped in at the Hobby Lobby for a few supplies...omg its like Christmas barfed in there. Gawds!!

Met up with husband for a late lunch/brunch. It was a calorie bomb! We were going walking after and will be having a light dinner, so I am pleased that I'm still going to be well under my calories for the day.

It was funny. It was a 2 egg skillet over veggies and grilled chicken breast and hashbrowns. I got the english muffin (dry) and the holindaise sauce on the side. I had about 1.5T of it with the whole breaky. It was big!!

Happily... I was actually FULL from eating it. Really full. Its 4 hours later and I'm still not interested in eating. In past, I would have had that, then stopped at starbucks right after for a coffee and a pastry of some sort and then been home and thinking about what I was going to be having for my afternoon snack. wow... life is changing.

Tonight we are going to go out for Asian Hot Pot Soup. Its a spicy (you pick how spicy) broth, and then you order veggies, noodle and/or meats a la carte.

We are going for lots of veggies (bok choy and greens etc), mushrooms (hubbys fav) and seafood (scallops, squid and shrimp). You get the extra's raw on a plate. The soup is in a low pot and placed on a hot plate in your table to keep it really hot! You put in the broth what you want, and it cooks in the soup.

Its a really fun meal, leisurely, and engaging. Not to mention... healthy and very low in fat and calories... if you put in the right stuff. :) I'm looking forward to it.

Husband is in the shower as I type. We just finished a 3.25mile walk in the beautiful cool weather. It makes the walking so much nicer and easier... and I think that weight I've lost really showed on our walk. My feet were not as sore as usual. Happy days.

I just love winter here. LOVE IT! back hope is -20 and has been snowing for a week. I seriously can NOT imagine it. Okay, that is all for today. Time to get some relaxing in with a book in the bathtub. Oh... and more water!!!

Food today is:

Friday, November 19, 2010

Ahhhh Friday!

Man, I salvaged that day from a garbage heap.

I managed to get out of the office at 2pm... just in time to head over and pick up my friend for our pedicure afternoon. YAY!!! The spa is great and you get a "free" martini with your pedi. After today, I needed it! ha!!

I now have Thanksgiving festive sparkly orange toes.

I'm behind on water right now. I'm at 108oz. I need another 100 before bed tonight.

Food was good today. Dinner is done, I'm going to settle in with the hubby to watch something on netflicks and then its early to bed!

Forgot to say that last night we went for a walk!! It was so nice and cool out, I love winter in TX!!! Tomorrow the plan is to get some more walking in.

Right... here are todays numbers:

I see...Its one of those days...


1. I'm at work (due to someone elses ignorance) and I'm supposed to be OFF enjoying myself.

2. I forgot my water bottle at home.

Well... its one of those days, where things are going to go wrong. Ha! I've foiled that, I can go in 10 minutes to the Starbucks and get a water and my morning coffee... and once this crapery is done. I'm OUTA here. Its not the same as a nice full day off. But I have a pedi this afternoon and a crafting date all lined up. It WILL happen.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Todays Nosh!

Today has been a busy one at the old office. I've have spent some time pondering my commitment, and thinking about what I need to do to keep on track with the movement that I've made and not get de-railed here.

I've got to stay with it and I am going to!!!! Powering though my water. My weekly plan is set and I have a social eating engagement on Sunday that I've prepared for. Feeling good.

I was going to get the day off tomorrow, however due to some other idiots messticle, I will be at the office tomorrow.

Damn. I wanted a nice long walk tomorrow in the sun. So instead, will be doing one tonight.
Water is currently at 118.9 oz, and I will have at least another 50 or 60 before bed tonight.

Here is todays food:

Word of the Day


Allan – our fearless, no sh*t-taking, power fat burning SDDDY challenge leader had a great post this morning on the big C word. Commitment.

Which is a great wake up call for me this week. My commitment this week is flagging. It is the forgotten red-headed stepchild that doesn’t get a Christmas present. While it’s inbreed cousin, Denial, has been coming around the table more and more.

The last three weeks I was weighing every day (some ppl like it some don’t) and I was losing close to 1lb a day. I was doing GREAT. I was fully committed. I was planning weeks of food out, I was sticking to my plans and making sure I had everything I needed to be successful. I was committed to setting myself up to lose weight.

This week, I’m buying whatever at the My Fit Foods in the morning, and making it work for the day. I ate lunch on Tuesday and had four things that I really didn’t need. 3 bites of appies and a dessert. I could have left half the dessert in my bowl, but I didn’t’. I bowed down to the alter of Want and was rewarded with a week of suffering, now my Wants got a taste of being fulfilled and they …well… want more. Great. I have no one to blame but myself.

Time for some re-training.

I am going to take time today at lunch, reset my priorities, and make a real path for me walk along for the rest of 2010. Half assed efforts are going to get me half asses results. DO NOT WANT.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I was tested....

Yesterday I had a very funny encounter on the elevator. I got on to go home and there was a woman on there with a Styrofoam glass. She smiled at me and as the doors were closing she said (no joke)...

"how much water have you had today".

I felt like I'd won the f**king lottery. I turned around and said, "Funny you should ask. As of right now I've had 4L today"

Put that in your pipe and smoke it lady! HAHAHAHAH Honestly, I thought that this was one of Allans minions sent to check on me. I was testing you and you passed.

So we then talked about how it was hard to drink enough etc etc.

Lunch is done and I'm feeling good. A lovely mix of Grilled Salmon, rice and broccoli was really really lovely! I just thought about getting a diet coke and my body actually revolted at the though!

I've been off the sodapop for about 6 weeks. I love that my taste for the evil stuff is changing!

Tonight we are getting Greek salad and whole wheat thin crust spinach pizza for dinner. I can't wait! Its one of my favorite meals. Then we will run home to watch Hells Kitchen!! I do love me some Gordon Ramsey! ha

Last night I got my Christmas wrapping done. I have a box to send up to the great white north for family, and another one to complete for friends. That is on the task list for this evening.

Friday, I'm taking a day off from work and I'm already planning my day for maximum enjoyment...its going to include a big walk, some crafting time and a pedi!! I can't wait. Sadly...I'll have to wait to see Harry Potter as the husband has disallowed me from going to see it without him.

Daily calories are all done and now posted so that I can not deviate!

Water thusfar is 80 oz of my 200 for today...getting closer!!


wow.... I put on a shirt today that a month ago was straining at the buttons. Its totally hanging off me.


water... 1.5L already and its only 8.40am!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Tuesdays numbers and a funny link!

First off... For Allan...seeing Meat Calms Men down... hahaha this is a funny study and in light of his post today about steak, it was fitting.

Lunch today was victorious. I had a yogurt before we left to make sure I was topped up.

I ordered the Grilled Snapper over greens. I had a few nibbles from the appetizer plates and a small dessert, then water water water. The restaurant was fancy (read here small portions), and the food was amazing! I came in today with 12 calories over my daily total. Excellent work!

I'm guessing at the amount, and being slightly generous. Mostly I had a small taste of each and that was all. But I don't want to under estimate.
I'm happy that there are no more obligations this week.

Water was 5.5l (189oz). Right on track.

Mondays Numbers & Tuesday Lunch Trap

Monday was a solid day for eating, came in just under my total calories for the day. I’m sleeping really badly right now, I’ve not been doing my stretching in the mornings and at night and I think that has a lot to do with it.

Last night we downloaded and watched the first 2 episodes of "The Walking Dead"...that would usually be my snack time...mindless eating while watching tv. Last night I didn't even notice. Had my water with me and sipped it throughout. Very pleased.

Also… totally parched last night in my sleep… wow… my body actually WANTS MORE water. Crazy world!

Yesterday I had 5.5L of water.

Also, I can see that I need to update my spreadsheet from Feb to November for this week. oops. I'm not going to recreate this.... too lazy!!

Food today is going to be challenging. We have an office celebration lunch out – I’ve scanned the menu and the salads were a TRAP.

I've skipped my morning snack in favor of another coffee so that I have room for the inevitable calorie heavy lunch that will be served.

Of course...now that I type that out I see my fatal flaw....I need to be FULL before going. I'm heading to get my snack right after I post this.

There was a seared tuna salad…but served with egg and bacon and a cream dressing… cobb salad…deep fried chicken… fried oyster caesar… these are not good choices?!!?!?!?

Damn them. I had to go further into the menu and discovered a grilled market fish, over arugula with lemon and olive oil. Done! I’m going to have to work out the calories in calorieking.com later when I know how much I ate, but the plan is to leave 1/3 on there.

Water is good – I’ve had 62oz so far today and getting into more! Plan at lunch is to have at least 3 glasses of lemon spiked water and eat as slowly as possible.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Weekly Tally and Sh*t

First off. I got an award from Allan for my participation on the SDDDY challenge where we begin our lives anew … in the Throne Room. All I can say is that if I had a pooper-room that looked like this, I would be in there even MORE!

Here is the catch up from Sundays eating (yummy) and my weekly tally.

Sunday was great, very relaxing day. Also, a minor victory in new behaviors – I’ve been avoiding one of the places that I LOVE to go to for the food & entertainment. A magical place that seem to meld food & entertainment so perfectly that I have a hard time doing one without the other. That dreaded place is … the MOVIE THEATER……

The popcorn is my total weakness. I just HAVE to have some. Cut that, used to have to. Now I don’t. I took with me a mini bag of pretzel M&M’s for each of us (me and husband) and then a bag of the dark peanut M&M’s for us to share. It’s a compromise. I stayed clear of the snack area and we enjoyed the movie with some contraband water and the little baggies of treats that we brought.

Yeah yeah… I know you aren’t “supposed” to bring stuff with you, but eff that. I’m not paying $4 for 500ml of water? Its not laced with gold or carried here on the backs of endangered animals. Anyway, it was great – we saw RED (hilarious) and managed to stay in our calorie range for the day even though we went out for dinner!!!

Vegetarian only (and Kosher) Indian restaurant. It was awesome. I love Indian food; the spice and heat are great, especially with it cooling off around here for the winter. Weeee I’m wearing a short sleeve sweater today!!!

Weekly Totals:

I was really low on Proteins this week which is not good considering how much exercise I got. I need to get that back UP! Calories were AWESOME! Only 341 calories over my weekly allowance, that is like .09 of a pound. Fats are still WAY high, and that must be address soonish!

Monday Weigh In

Patience is a virtue. I knew yesterday that I was terribly bloated and my poor number (293.5) to Allan was not a true reflection of the way that the SDDDY challenge is working.

This mornings weekly weigh in:


down 4 pounds. YAY!!

Must run to work now. I just had to post that since I was soooo pleased.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Sunday Roundup

Phew. What a weekend. First of all ... lets get business out of the way!!

Weigh In for the SDDDY challenge.


Which is +1.5lbs.

I was REALLY upset this morning when I weighed in, but ... after a long morning of stewing over it I reminded myself that all the extra water that I've had and the extra muscle annihilating exercise that I've had for the last 2 days is what is going on here.

I hate that I have to go in and register a GAIN for this week, but I'm confident that those pound...plus a whole lot more will be gone by Monday or Tuesday. Then I read Allans post this morning and knew that I was right, I am on track. I am doing the right things and I didn't come anywhere NEAR to the calories needed to gain 1.5lbs... especially since Friday I was 287.5.

Patience Young Jedi...


8 hours of hammering nails, carrying wood, sweeping, bending, stooping and general walking about was amazing with the Habitat for Humanity build. I had a hot bath and was done for the night. 10pm and my eyes were too heavy to stay open. Here is that days food:

I was over my 2090 by 382 calories. Not too bad considering that I likely burned around 3,600 for the day with all that extra running around.


Up bright and early for my Highland Games competition. It went from 10am to 5pm and I was sore, tired and loving every moment of that on Saturday. Lots of fun and good times, the sun was out, there was a chill in the air. Beautiful day to stand out in the field and throw heavy things.

I didn't eat as well as I wanted, but once again, I likely burned over 3K more calories than I ate. I didn't drink enough water. I have 4.5L, but...with all the work that I was doing, I should have had a LOT more.

A very excellent evening. Now I'm going to go and scour Allans blog for his email address, and then have a hot bath and a cuppa tea!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Saturday Graph

I actually found this quite an interesting exersize...and making graphs from all the data that I've collected over the *cough* 2 years... is fascinating. Of course, I'm more interested in the real progress that is coming and what the next graph will look like!

Happy Saturday... I'm out throwing heavy things! What are you doing?

Its a little fuzzy...but you get the picture.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Community Service does a body good!

Wow... I'm exhausted, and delighted.

Today our company sent 35 people out to work on a house for Habitat for Humanity. It was amazing. I was up and at the office at 6.15am, we were at the job site at 7am. It was a really fulfilling feeling, to be out there working for the betterment of some very grateful and hardworking people.

And fun. I hammered nails, got to run a saw gun thingy (technical term!). Swept, picked up nails, ran water, got ice, hammered more nails....it was totally AWESOME.

We were allowed to BUY steel toe boots and charge it to the company. I was astounded that they are so supportive of the cause. Makes me smile. My arms, hands, back, legs and feet are tired and sore. But I feel amazing! What a fabulous day.

I drank about... 6L of water today at the site. Peed twice. We were working hard, and it was hot and humid today. I'm pounding it back right now.

Weighed in this morning at 287.4lbs. So, I'm happy to report that yesterday weight was either 1. the scale was in an uneven spot on the tile (does happen, the bathroom floor is roughish) or 2. I had a lot of water/poo retention... also very possible! ha!

We are off in a couple hours to another Highland games tomorrow. I'm going to struggle a little with soreness from working all day today, but it was so worth it. Home Sunday...for my official weigh in. I can't wait.

Its also going to be time for some new inches and maybe.... pictures!!!!!!! :)

I will post up the food from Friday/Sat and Sun later! Time to pack up my kilt, toss the hammer in the car and get dinner ready for the husband... he is driving tonight.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Todays Numbers

Water is better today. That was goal number 1.

My weigh in this morning is lingering in the back of my mind. I'm keen to get to tomorrow to see if I've sorted myself out. There is no way that I even came close to eating 8+lbs of calories between yesterday morning and this morning. Anyway, I'm trying to not dwell.

I finished my lunch and I'm sitting here feeling extremely full. :) Feels good to know every bit of food that has gone in and that evey ounce of it was good for me.

Tomorrows excitement: Our company is having a Volunteer day. So I'll on a Habitat for Humanity building site all day. I can't wait to spend the day swinging a hammer and climbing ladders and getting dirty. What a great change from riding a desk all day.

Lunch is provided - I had a look at the menu - sandwiches, chips and cookies. I'll be packing a couple of granola bars/banana with me to avoid temptation. I'm driving a team of people, so I'll be able to slide in a little cooler of food for me in the car, to keep me from cheating. Yay.

Water today is better, but I feel bloated. .....thinking that this full belly feeling has a lot to do with my not having any of my normal poo's today!!! Ahh the blogging TMI... BAM... it was there before you had a chance to not read it. You're welcome!

That would do it on the old scale.. I'll spare the realy gory details... but by now I would have had three and I've had one. I ate a cup of blackberries this morning with my oatmeal... if that doesn't do the trick, I'm in trouble!!!

So... there you go!

I'm pounding down the water hoping that clears it all up by this afternoon. Today I should end up with 179oz by bed time. Thus far I've had: 102oz - 10 of which were coffee. the rest is the good clear cold H2O.

On track calorie wise, getting in my advance water intake and tonight I'm getting some good sleep - I'll be up an hour early tomorrow and at the job site at 7am! Weeeee!

Food today:

Lest We Forget

Thank you to all who have, will and do maintain our Freedom.


Water yesterday: a disappointing 110oz
Weight this morning: 294.7lbs

Coincidence... I think not! I feel puffy, I woke up three times last night thirsty and my pee was much darker than usual.

So.. lesson learned!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Hump Day

I just finished reading a great Article that Ann linked on her post yesterday.

And I have to say that today I think I'm getting over the hump of the "extreme need to pee at all times" feeling. Now I'm actually thirsty for more water (sick...yes, true... yes). The flushing is almost over, the healthy water intake is working its "magic" and this morning I weighed an astonishing 286lbs.

ummmm WHAT THE F*BOMB!!! omg...that is 6lbs down from Monday. Is that even possible????!!!!!!

I didn't even notice losing the weight. I wasn't crying myself to sleep dreaming of cake and cookies and how much losing weight sucks and how hard it is. I just woke up less. I better check under the bed and see if there is a small me under there.

... I feel like there is going to be a surprise camera jump out and tell me they have been switching out the scale every morning.

I am eating almost every single calorie that I'm allowed. I am not hungry all the time, I'm not unhappy. This is so bloody strange/AWESOME!

Take that Fat *pew pew*

There is still 1/4 of this damn cake sitting here on my desk. I'm going to move it to the kitchen as soon as I finish this post - so that the office wolves can have at it. I'm sick of looking at it and no one in this department is eating it. Begone Cake!

Water so far is: 94oz. Great start to the day.


Iron Bladder Award!


Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Water & Cake

“It is wise to bring some water, when one goes out to look for water”

~Arab Proverb

This guy must have known Allan! HAHAHAHAHA

My count today: 167.5oz

Today there was a change of plans for the afternoon for food. I DID NOT, repeat DID NOT have any cake. I was having a hell-icious afternoon at the job and my cube-mate said,

"have another piece of cake, you deserve it for all the stress you are under".

This has a few key things in it to me:

1. She had no idea that I had NOT had any cake.

Which is great, since when you are the only one not eating treats around people that are eating treats they tend to give you a hard time. I successfully negotiated not eating it by talking about how great it was through vicarious eating of said cake by cube-neighbor. Sweet!;

2. Her statement came right when I was eyeballing that f**king cake and thinking EXACTLY what she was saying; and

3. It hardened my resolve to NOT have cake.

Cakkkkkke. If you want to know what I think about cake...you should check out this hilarious blog. That is me as a small child.

Anyway, thats all for tonight. Bed time. I will update yee old spreadsheets tomorrow and (fingers crossed) work will be slightly less frantic and I can get some fun stuff done at lunch.

SDDDY Challenge - Day 1

Here we are: Phase 2 of the Double Dog Dare Challenge/water boarding by Allan

Name: Tamzin
Starting Weight: 292lbs
Goal Weight: 190

Max Calories/day: 2090

Minimum Fluids: 135*
Advanced Fluids Intake: 159*oz (for those who want extreme pelvic muscle control)

*this has already had the amount of fluid in the food that I am eating, i.e. approx 10oz of food fluids per day.

Every Sunday we have to weigh in and email the results. Follow teh calorie and water intake and that is it. Seems simple enough and frankly... is working better than I could even have hopped for.

Allan medical peeps have calculated that on December 8th, should I have the max caloric intake and the minimum water intake I will be: 268lbs.

That is the mathematical weight, based on past success, my starting weight today, my goal weight, and the liquids I am now adding. Phase One proved that it works, so Phase II should be just as awesome for me.

Should I keep up my water intake to the bladder-busting Advance Fluid intake on December 8th, I will be: 262lbs.

Wow… that is 30lbs lighter than now. I am having a hard time visualizing that on the scale. I don’t think that I have seen that number in ohhhhh…. 5 years or more. Amazing. I can’t tell you how excited I am.

You know, there are no times that I feel really deprived on this routine. I occasionally mentally feel deprived as I see the treats that I used to indulge in pass me by. BUT… as I move forward, and this is week 4 for me, I’m feeling better and better about my lack of treats. I still get the occasional chocolate or sweet thing. However, I’m not as desperate to eat 15tones of it anymore. Its good. I feel more in control, and I think that is mostly due to the fact that I am almost always full. Full of the good food that I am filling up on, full of water or … full of pee! Needing to pee is a distraction from wanting to eat. HA!!

The regression formulas can be tweaked if you are cruising along, or if you are stuck. Every week the water is adjusted based on your progress. Not a lot of change, but accuracy helps.

Here is todays food. There is a massive chocolate cake that has been sat on the "bar" at my desk all day for people to come and eat. I will admit that there are a few times today I've thought about it. But I'm not going to.

Posted so I can't make any changes!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Daily add up!

Well, I'm (of course) totally pumped for SDDDY challenge starting up tomorrow. Allan let the cat out of the bag a little early due to a lot of emails asking him I'm sure.

.5oz of fluids per pound. This is the formula we have for the next 3 weeks.

292/2=146oz of fluid
146/33.8=4.3L of water a day.

Today I had 169 oz of water.... Husband gave me the eyebrows and said "that's auspicious". HAHAHA right buddy... I have to go to work tomorrow! teehee

Awesome. I can totally do this. Just over 4 liters of water daily. When I get in 1L before I'm even at the office makes it a lot easier. My new success is having to pee when I arrive at the office in the morning. That means I'm well on the way.

Food today was great. I was really NOT hungry this afternoon.... I water why?? haha Ended up skipping the majority of the afternoon snack.

For today's fun time with food... there was a bake sale at the office for the United Way campaign. I'm sorry, but I've donated my hard earned money, and volunteered my time... but I draw the line at buying baked goods.

A number of people bought the treats and out of the goodness of their hearts/waistlines put them out in the office kitchen for the savages to pillage. Mini lemon cheesecakes...like 50 of them. I'm not kidding... I picked one of those landmines up and sniffed it. It smelled gooooood. I eyeballed it... I thought about it... then put that b*tch back down and walked off.


Alrighty - time for me to get headed for bed. I'm sore and tired for my weekend of fun.

Here are todays numbers, pretty carb heavy. I think that might be my muscules complaining about the hard work yesterday:

DDDY Challenge - week 2 weigh in

This is like, the LEAST dramatic title ever for the most amazing post and weigh in that I’ve ever had.

Which I am going to get to asap, because I can’t wait any longer to tell you.

Weight In: 292.0lbs

That my friends…. is a massive 7lb loss for this week. I kinda figured that this one would be bigger, since last week we the period bloats, but 7 effing pounds. Wow. I’m sooo happy.

I can’t wait for more water torture!! I will have to stay posted to Allan's blog and wait to see how much I will be peeing these next three weeks!!!!

I am thinking that I should go and buy some stocks in Toilette paper. HAHAH

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sunday Round Up

Here is my Sunday round up.

I was curious to get this all tallied up ad since I finally figured out how to cut and paste a pic of my excel worksheet into here, I can show you that I actually track the calories, the grams of fat, carbs and proteins as well.

This is the "math" that I used to figure out what I should be eating. A moderately balanced diet is 55% carbohydrates, 20% fats (the more good fats the better), and 25% proteins (the leaner the better!).

I have bunch of formulas in there that you can't see to get all the calculations. The basis is that there are 4calories per gram of Carbs and proteins, 9 calories per gram of fat. Using that math you can calculate it (backwards and forwards to see that I am on the right track ... there was a minor 2 calorie difference between the two formulas.)

190*11 = 2090 calories

This week I ate 391 calories over my recommended total. That is just over 1/10th of a lb. I'm pretty pleased with that.

+109.3g of fat eaten (not great)
-96.5g carbs
-14.4g protein

Between these they almost perfectly balance out to zero. I find that my diet is high in fat, I would like to get that down lower, but greek yogurt and salmon tend to bump it up significantly. Both of which have good fats, so at the moment I'm not going to stress about it at the moment, especially since I'm drinking so much water.. and losing weight. When that stops (per Allans math) I will be 190lbs and I can make adjustments from there.

All in all, I'm really happy with this week and looking forward to next week and what that will bring.

As this was composed Friday during my lunch hour, I should be in the middle of my Highland Games competition right now. Wish me luck!!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Planning to Succeed

Alrightly, in the spirit of my last few posts, here is my food weekend before it happens. I set this to post Saturday morning, we will have already been on the road for a few hours. Weee!!!


I have a conference out of town staring at 9am until 1pm. There will be cakes and cookies. I will not be indulging. I will have a kashi bar and water in my purse. I am prepping my weekend of food and bringing a small cooler with me so that when we check into the hotel on Saturday we will have our lunch and snacks with us, as well as the Sunday breakfast, lunch and snacks.

Saturday night we are meeting up with friends for dinner and going out for Mexican food. So, I’ll pick similar to what I did on Monday, which is, eat 2 out of the three tacos, none of the rice and beans, and a very limited amount of chips and salsa. I’m hoping that I can get the grilled fish tacos. YUM!


Sunday is a bit different. I have an athletic event (highland games) that I will be competing in for the better part of 5 hours. Makes for a looong exhausting day. I am going to be plowing through the water like there is no tomorrow. I will also be eating over my allowance (not by too much) so that I keep my energy up. The whole days work will expend close to my total daily allowance in calories, so even with that overage, I’ll be well under for calories that day.

My carb intake is going to be much higher than usual, as I will be eating for energy. I’m keeping it manageable, and if I stay on plan, it should be very doable and will be a lot less bad for me than my night out at the Thai restaurant. I’m sure that I will sleep on the way home that night!

Monday I’ll have to post up my weight in and do a check through to see how far off I was on my eating over the weekend. I am excited! Mini fun holiday coming up.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Forgot to eat... do I have a fever??

I totally forgot that I didn't eat my apple on the way home last night. Wow. I didn't remember until I opened the office fridge today to put my yogurt in. Me...not remember food. This cold must be SERIOUS!

Actually, it must be all that water! In all honesty, it likely is. I was hungry after dinner last night, but I had no more calories to spare so I just drink more water and viola... full.

Weighed in this morning. 294.5lbs. I was astounded. Sucking in doesn't help on the scale, right? HA!!

I'm totally PUMPED for my DDDY part deaux, which I have personally dubbed "water boarding by Allan". He is a cruel taskmaster. I love it!

Phase 2

1) Each participant will have an exact water allowance as a minimum goal. There will also be a water allowance for weight loss. We all need to get used to the amount of fluids that healthy people at their goal weights ingest. Each person is specific, based on factors that you have relayed to me. It is up to you where you want to be. The Challenge is to follow the minimums

2) We will all be eating at our goal weights again calorically.

3) Thanksgiving will be treated as any other day, with the exception that in your new lifestyle, with the increased liquids and planning that you have learned, it will be easy. Again, if you are drinking 60-120 ounces of fluids in addition to the calories you have to eat at goal, it is alot harder than you think to gorge. Drinking for the next three weeks will get you used to the liquids, and you will find out the secrets that healthy people know already. I will let you learn those, as I am, on your own.

4) The last rule is weekly reporting. Keep track of what you eat, every day, every item before you eat it. Until we are at our goals this is the greatest tool I have learned.

5)You will email those results Sunday evenings, and anything cute will be posted !!

Sounds pretty darn awesome to me!

Tomorrow morning we are heading out of town for the weekend. I have a conference for half a day on Saturday and then a competition on Sunday, so we are staying away overnight. This used to be a massive "Eff You" to the diet, and we would indulge in all kinds of things... desserts etc cause we are on a mini-holiday right.. and that never counts. (yeah right).

In the spirit of my new healthy plan... I've already completely laid out my weekend of food, got the coolers out and my list ready for tonight. I'm bringing most of my food with us and have planned my meals out. I should be rock'n the challenge all weekend. I have a post all set to publish on Saturday morning, we will be well on our way by the time it hits.

Here is the plan for Friday. I dont see myself going off it at all so I'm posting early. Tonight is going to be a busy night of packing and getting to bed early for a 6am start! ... this is actually starting to look like a LOT of food. :)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Thursday Slump

Ug, today is alternating between lightspeed drama and totally dragging!! What a mental day at the office.

My second full liter today is dragging, have to get back on that. After this post is finished I will be at 103.5oz of water. I'm planning on at least half a liter on the way home, and then another 1.5 liters this evening. That will be a total of: 169.5oz of water today. Not too shabby.

Food today has been great. I'm feeling good, healthy food going in is always better. My cold is not doing me any favors. I'm getting in a hot bath when I get home, taking some meds and will be snoozing peacefully by 9:30 I hope.

Here is the count:


Today is going well, despite my dinners out, and this is a real mind-flip from what my life was like mere weeks ago.

This week at the office there has been an incredible amount of temptation, of which I have NOT indulged, not even once. A few weeks ago I would have been eating upwards of 5 or 10 mini-treats a day. (then wondering why my pants are tighter….go figure).

The desk next to mine has an overflowing Halloween bowl of pretzels and candy corn, and a little bowl of Hershey kisses, Reese’s pb cups and all sort of mini chocolate bars. I had glanced at them a couple of times; I’ve even caught myself reaching for it once or twice, but stopped myself. Yesterday in the kitchen someone dropped off a mountain of leftovers from Halloween. Chocolate bars, gun, chips and candy. I stopped to look at it – then forced myself to move along. No need to window shop if I’m not intending to buy.

The DDDY challenge has been great. I’m enjoying all the fabulous blogs that it has lead me too, including Allan’s totally NO BS attitude blog where he gets on with getting on and telling it like it is. I love it. You know, it’s a challenge, and by definition it should be difficult. I think that the trap I’ve laid for myself before has been that I have not anticipated, or prepared for the difficulty that is ahead.

If being thin was easy, I would already be there. It’s a difficult, rocky, steep path, hard enough to make you think twice about climbing up. I have quit in the past because it was hard to manage food, it was hard to prep lunches, its hard to get up early and go to the gym before work (which is something else that I have to get started back into), it was hard to say NO to treats… I deserve them right?

I’m up for the challenge. I want the challenge. I need the challenge. I had a coach that always said, “if this training were easy, everyone would have an Olympic Gold medal”. It’s the difficulty and struggle that adds value to the goal.

So that is what I’m going to think about when next week rolls around and I’m sucking back the monster amount of water needed in the "Son of DDDY Challenge Challenge"!

10:45 am and I’ve had: 1.5L water, 10oz coffee, and 3oz Food-water. For a total of 62.5oz and the day is just beginning. My plan is to sip constantly, every time I look at my water and see it - I take a drink.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

All Planned out

Ahhhhhh. This afternoon the hubby is dropping our friends off at the airport to head home. I'm sad to see them go, but I'm pleased to be able to get back into my normal routine.

I was VERY pleased this morning to jump on the old scale... 297.4. WOW! I was thinking that it would be a gain, but I guess that Thai-Hot veggie Tom Yum soup did its magic. :)

I had my morning Liter of water before work, but my cold is settling in deeper now and I'm not that interested in food or water. I've finished my 2nd liter, but its just not going down well. I have some decaf tea and squeezed lemon right now and that is making me feel a lot better.

I've eaten just over half my lunch but I'm just not into it. I'm putting the lid on it and will finish it for my afternoon snack today. This is how normal sized people eat... right! Why force it?? ahhh progress.

I'm looking forward to a quiet night watching Hells Kitchen, then reading in bed, and getting some good shut eye to try and fight this off. I have another busy weekend coming, I do NOT want to be sick.

Here is today's plan. Oh and I'm so very pleased with my cut and paste jobbie from excel. This is much easier and more fun!!:

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

DDDY Food today

Right... failing to plan is planning to fail. I over ate my calories today at dinner. I am planning on making up for the extra 300 later in this week.

I left the office early before my afternoon snack to meet up with my out-of-town guests. Bookstore coffee, marshmallow bar... totally forgot about those later when I was eating dinner.

The good for today was that I did NOT pig out at dinner. I took some, ate slowish and did NOT finish the entire thing. Quite happy with that. Calories were not great.

As much as I am going to hate to see them go, its going to be nice to not eat out again this week.. or this month if I have my way.

Water today: 2.5L planning on another .5L before bed at least.

Food today:
H-town Breakfast - 280
coffee - 2
cream - 90
Choc Almond pattie - 420
Fit Mac & Cheese - 360
2 Raw Red Peppers - 62
Kashi Pumpkin Pecan bar - 120
Banana -105
coffe & cream grande - 90
marshmallow bar - 210
Tom Yum Soup - 75
Green Seafood Curry - 180
Beef Curry - 300
steamed rice - 206

Total: 2500
Ideal Total: 2090
Difference: +410

BS: 2

1BS - knowing that I should have planned my meal before I went out
2BS - as I ate my dinner knowing that I was going over.

& now for something completely different

So this weekend I did a LOT more stuff out in the public than I would do on a typical weekend.

It was a little scary.

I’m used to more intimate fatness. Being fat in a restaurant, at work, in my car, at the gym and at the walking park, grocery store. Places where people are distracted and may not see me.

I am NOT used to being fat in places where people-watching occurs. Sunday was particular disturbing. Being fat, with a slim friend, at a massive crowded mall. It was a vortex of shame that sucked me in and spat me out the other side a wet warped messy ball of self-loathing, the likes of which I have not experienced in quite some time.

It was really hard to walk and out of stores where the people in there instantly knew you couldn't fit into ANYTHING in that store. Its Humiliating. Then … all the mirrors and windows reflecting back at me what I look like while walking, sitting, standing. It’s really not great.

I am SO much fatter than I thought that I was. There really is some sort of mind warp that goes on. Of course I look at myself in the mirror in only the most flattering ways in the morning so that I can get out the door without crying. So really there is no surprise here. I have been deluding myself into thinking "I'm not that bad" but I am. Its a very bitter pill to get down.

I’m trying to stay positive, and this is working. I’m happy and getting healthier. My weight is going to come off… but the real question is ...

How did I get this big and how do I make sure never to do it again?

These will be answered along the way I’m sure. Lyn at Escape from Obesity has some really interesting posts on self perception, food and weight and today she said something that really struck me today. Here is the post.

Monday, November 1, 2010

DDDY challenge - Todays Food

Today is going well. I’m very pleased with my water intake. Its 2pm here and I will be done my third liter of water by the time I’m done typing and posting this. At lunch I made a plan, looked at the numbers and made my decision on dinner. I have it written on a sticky note in my wallet so that I don’t forget. The plan means that tonight at dinner I will eat 2 out of 3 grilled chicken tacos on corn tortillas, also leaving all the rice and beans on my plate. I can have 5 chips with salsa to start, and of course. Water.

I’m having my favorite afternoon snack, and this one is filling! It’s the My Fit Foods Steele cut oatmeal with walnuts and blackberries. I always add an extra fruit to it (usually peaches) but today it’s a banana. We are not going to be able to go out for dinner until 7.30. So I’m going to eat my snack an hour later than usual so that I don’t go home and start wanting to graze/snack.

I am slightly disappointed in my 1lb loss this week – even though I know rationally, any other week prior to the last two it would have been a 4 or 5lb gain with the path that I am on. There, typing it out is much better. SEE SELF... that is a HUGE victory!!!

Losing is losing. Last week I had a huge number because I cut my calories so drastically, and I had been over indulging SO badly. This week is steady progress even with my less than good for me foods. Salty salty salty. No wonder I'm plowing through the water today.

So, the end of this week and coming weekend I’m going to really enjoy my food and eat my calories and get moving a little more. I’m quite sure that its going to be a huge difference. I’m already excited for the phase 2 of Allan’s DDDY challenge.

Here is today.

Water: 3L and counting (2pm)

MFF Good Morning Sunshine - 330
Coffee - 2
Cream - 90
MFF Happy Apple pattie - 350
MFF Gimmie More Chicken Salad - 300
Activia Strawberry Fiber - 110
MFF Oatmeal - 290
Banana - 105
5 Tortialla chips - 50
1oz Salsa - 6
2 Chicken Tacos Rancheros - 460

Totals: 2093
Ideal Total: 2090
Difference: +3

Monday Weigh in

I can't remember if I am supposed to weigh in... or not weigh in. But I typically do once a week and so I guess it shall be done.

This morning I was 299.

That is down 1lb from last week.

This is a major victory considering that:

1. I’m on my period right now, and
2. I spent Fri-Sunday not eating the healthiest and salt-free food, and
3. I had not had my morning poop.

ahhh blogland... where you can talk about your most private bodily functions out in the open for all to see! hahaha Enjoy!

I was disappointed yesterday with my food/calories – but really, I’m more disappointed that I haven’t done what I said that I would. Manage my eating. That has not happened. So this week WILL be better.

I have my lunch and everything for work all planned out for the week. We have 1 or 2 more dinners to negotiate before I can go to my normal home eating routine. Tonight I have a good idea of where we are going. So I’m going to make a plan for that at lunchtime today and stick to it tonight. I do well when given little choice. My decision making skills with food on the fly are extremely poor to nonexistent. So I know my calories left, I will make a plan, I will order that and eat that only.

Other than that, I still am chalking this one up as a win. And on an awesome note… I had 1L of water in me before I even got to the office this morning. WOOT.