Thank you for stopping by to perv on my blog, as I fight myself to change my old habits and make new ones to get fit. I don't get it right all the time, but I'm still here and I'm still working at it.

Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!

My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Rough Water

Making time for what is important requires that I think that it is actually important.

I’m struggling with that. I LIKE to do what is easiest and I enjoy quiet and a homogeneous life in all honesty. Change is a wave that interrupts life, and makes it rocky, unstable and difficult.

I’ve been half heartedly changing in small little bits, but then sailing back into calmer waters to linger before hitting the high seas again. Its not doing me any favors, other than making life more and more difficult.

Getting up early has been a struggle since I don’t like going to bed early. So I’ve effectively made both going to bed AND getting up unpleasant. I did 25 kettle bell swings this morning, I could have done more, but I didn’t get up early enough.

This weekend I was at an all day training event for the throwing events that I do in the summer for highland games. I was beat from it and poor planning coupled with extra people to look after meant that when it was time to head out to our evening party I was hungry, thirsty, and tired. I over ate all KINDS of bad stuff for hours. Ug.

So no surprise when today's weigh in was: 287.0

I’m so full of salt and bloated and on my period. UG.

That being said, I’m not 100% happy with my efforts, however I am the only one here that can make me do anything so I know where the fault lies.

Then I think… I have made changes, they are not as fast as I would like, but there ARE changes. This week has not been great – but that can change. No, that WILL change.

25 more swings tonight, and I’ll be up and at it again in the mornings. More water, better choices for lunches, earlier bed times and earlier mornings. This is what I will do this week.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Busy Bee!

another manic Friday here. I have never worked at a place like this before where every Friday is 2x as crazy as the Monday. Why not winding DOWN the week people??

regardless, I've been at a dead run since 7.45 this morning and just realized that I've not had a single sip of water here yet. This is NOT GOOD.

Getting on top of that right now.

Last nights dinner was great - green apple, 1c low fat cottage cheese and some light whole grain waffles with a little bit of honey. I was just slightly hungry at bed time and that is a good feeling now.

Okay - today is not going to get any less busy, so I better hit it full steam...and now with hydration!


more later

Thursday, January 27, 2011

almost there....

The weekend that is.

I managed to get out of the office kitchen yesterday and I didn't even FEEL like eating until 7pm.

I got my walk in, dry shampooed the dog, and did some laundry. I realized that I'm about 4 days away from my period and that is always a bad time control wise, but more when I don't anticipate it happening.


Constant vigilance. I was listening to the radio this morning and there was a bit about the personality trait that is consistent throughout all people that lose weight and keep it off. They called it "neurotic".

There was a brief discussion about what that characteristic meant. None of it was flattering as you can imagine. "annoying" was one of the words thrown out there. Everything was negative. Needless to say, I want that.

I'm sure I have more to say about this, as that is what is on my mind today, however I have to wade back into the fire here at work.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


i ate some.

Thats it for today.. . no more "you can have some".

Only Water and on plan for the rest of the night. AND I'm going to get a walk in this evening. Damn it.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tuesday blahs

I will tell you this. 75 kettle bell double handed swings on Monday has made hamburger meat of my arse and hamstrings. I’m limping around the office like a hobbled horse. Fun!! Got out at lunch and did a lap around the park to try and loosen off. Tomorrow morning I have to do it again!! Eep!!

Mack (the dog) is adjusting well. He is on a x2 daily steroid to help him with the heartworms. Which he happily takes with peanutbutter!! He was sacked out last night dreaming at my feet - whiskers going and paws twitching. So cute. Husband bought some new brushes and the most amazing invention I’ve ever seen. Doggie wipes. These are pop up doggie wipes for between baths and Mack loves a good rub down. Totally fun and honestly took teh doggie smell off. Since we can't have him too stressed for his heart, I don't know if we can bath him. Should he dislike water.... it could get too hard on him. This is the happy medium, and he loves being brushed so that makes it easy.

Today has been a great day food wise. I’ve not had enough water, but that is because I didn’t have any beside the bed this morning, and only had half my usual on the way to work. So nearly a liter behind right now. Planning on making that up on the ride home and over dinner.

I had an awesome My Fit Foods lunch today – JalapeƱo Steak Salad. Steak, some corn relish and fresh cut jalapeƱos and a really interesting vinaigrette dressing over spinach leaves. Hot. My nose was running. Tonight is salad 2. we are off to get salads at my fav little place, Barnabys. I just finished a diet Dr.Pepper - which is not on the list, but was a last minute replacement for what I really wanted (sweets).

We watched the last of Fringe season 1 last night so tonight – no excuses for not going to bed earlier. I’m exhausted anyway. I had to literally roll off the mattress to get to my feet this morning.

Work is almost done. I can’t wait to get out of here and get the evening started, the sky is blue and its lovely out. Might get to drive home with the windows down a little!

Food today: (totally rocken the protein!)

Monday, January 24, 2011

Food Today:

Not too bad! Almost home time. I can't wait!!

Weekend Update and Weigh In.

Weekend was a biggie. Need to catch up.

Walked – 3mils – not the 5km that I was going to try and get.
Lots of adventuring and cleaning of the house
Food has been off and on. I’m noticing that I’m eating a lot LESS and not as stressed out about the when and where my next meal will be coming from. Good mental progress.


We adopted a doggie!! He is a rescue and this has been in the works for a while. He is a 2yr old Rottweiler Australian Shepherd cross. Really adorable and is currently heartworm positive. So he is undergoing his treatments, which is pretty horrible. A lot like chemo. So he has to be kept quiet and still, not get his heart pumping fast as that can damage it or even kill him. He has a rotti face and a spotted aussie body and a little nub for a tail. He is a very relaxed and chill dog to begin with, so the next two months of restricted activity should be not too hard on him.

He should be all better in about months, then I’ll be able to start taking him for walks (and …gasp… runs in the mornings!) and really enjoying getting out and about with him. So happy!


I’ve been doing a lot of reading and have picked up a couple of books of interest. The End of Overeating. This is a very interesting book on the “hyperpalitable” foods that are created for consumption, but also a significant portion is on the biology in the brain that leads us to overeating them. Nothing that someone who isn’t an overeater doesn’t intuitively know – fast foods and junk foods are created specifically to make you want more.

There were some very interesting experiments about how mice will perform a repetitive task for sugar water to almost the same extent as they will cocaine. Very strong response indeed. I can see in my life and experiences with food and cravings described in this book and I highly recommend it. In fact, I like it so much that when I’m done reading it – I’m going to give it away here to someone else who will pass it forward once they are finished.

The other book I picked up was The 4 hour body, by Tim Ferris. He is a slightly annoying, rich arrogant prick. However, this book has some very interesting fitness and science in it and I dont care how annoying/rich/arrogant someone is . I’ve put into place his most simple workout. 75 double handed kettle bell swings 3x a week in the mornings. Its worth picking up if you have the time and extra cash (at Borders with the $20 membership you get 40% off new hardbacks so it was $25 instead of $45ish).

I’ve committed myself to:

1. Getting up at 6.30 this every day week with plans to move that back to 6am get ups.

2. Dog walking (potty for now - actual walks later when he is able).

3. 75 kettle bell swings on Monday Wednesday and Fridays.

Getting an earlier start is going to make the mornings better. I hate laying in and being late, but I am always bad about getting up. I will tell you all this. I did 3 sets of 25 swings today and my ass is HURTING! So are my arms for that matter! I have a 25lbs bell right now, but I suspect that will be too light in 3 weeks. So I’ll have to go and eyeball a new one. Its almost highland games season anyway, so time to get my butt moving!

Weigh In:

Total wash. 285.4lbs today. However, next monday I'mexpecting som good results. This week I'm going to get strtict with my food again, and really put forth the effort that I desirve to give myself.

Okay – that is my weekend, I'm pretty pleased and now I’m off to perv all over yours! HA!!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Water...is it magic?

How about that... 10.30am. 1.5L of water consumed and... I'm not hungry?

Must be magic!! ;)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Thursday AKA Pure Carb Fallout

well the shit-tasticness of this week was only just ramping up and came to a very nasty head today.

This morning I was at the office an hour earlier than usual to wait around for these out of towners to get here and get the day long meeting started. Then the "organizer" in the most laughable sense of the word didn't do half the things on the list that she was supposed to have done. Fab. now I have to do them ALL RIGHT NOW. bla bla bla the whole day ended up like this.

Needless today that I have been having a massive freak out - didnt' eat anything but carbs from the catering trays and feel sick, tired, used, and angry.

I've had.... 2L of water today. I'm 2L behind and I can feel it.

Another walk tonight. This one will be the whole 3miles+ and I'm going to go to bed early. Friday WILL be better. IT WILL. I am going to make the end of this week SHINE.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Let this day be over

I could basically consume an entire continent of ice cream right now. Why is it that when I’m stressed and angry I want food. DAMN YOU UNIVERSE.

I've already eaten more than I wanted to at the office this afternoon. GD Bagels in the kitchen. GD weak ass attitude on food.

But...I'm not going to spazz out and eat myself sick. I'm going home and going to go walking tonight. Then I'm having my dinner and enjoying an evening of crafting... likely voodoo dolls that I will then stab holes into with excessive vigor and malice.


Water today....I've been too busy to keep track, but I'm in the 150 oz neigborhood.
Food today:

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Tuesday is the new Monday

omg.... this was a very Mondayish kind of day for a Tuesday, and I hope that it doesn't carry over into the rest of the week. ANYWAY... the morning started out really well.

1. I was up AT my alarm. This is a small miracle that you have just witnessed. I have a habit of getting up when I should be leaving, and being about 20min late to work for the last month.

2. Not only was I up at my alarm, but I did 100 crunch, and 100 pushups. If you can call what I was doing a pushup. My the end if was more of a shoulder dip, however, my arms and abs are warm today, so I know they did something.

3. I was at work on time.

Sadly, things took a turn for the worse. Its bee a hellish day at the desk. But, its almost done. So, thats that.

Fluids/Water: currently done 100.5oz of water. its 4.30pm. 100oz is about half what I want to get a day, so today is better than yesterday, but not as good as it could be. I had the lid on the bottle for a while this morning and sadly, that means that I don't sip as much as I should.

Sad, but true.

Walkies: I'm hoping to get one in tonight, but not too sure if I will. We will see. There is actually some blue sky out there, might have to try and take advantage of it.

Food today: Not too bad. I'm pleased. I didn't have the second coffee of the day, but I'm leaving it in there since I'm too lazy to change it! :)

Home soon, and then my firends...its blog perving time. I can't wait!!!!! I'm so out of the loop!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Weigh in day!

omg. I'm so far behind. I'll have to give a quick catch up and then its on with the new week.

Weigh in: 285.4lbs
Down .6lbs

This last week has been a complete shit show of off and on again tracking, not managing my water and full on careless eating.

I was well over my 1950 calories on most days. I have been eating out and not bothering to really count what is going in. Happily, I've been walking and getting in "most" of my water. I know there are good and bad times, but this was not fun.

Being careless with my weight is a slippery slope that can easily pull me down into a deep pit. I'm NOT going to let that happen. Constant vigilance.

So there - Tamzin - you had a bad week. You ate garbage and shit. Did you like it. No, you did not. So, get on top of pre planning and stop the last minute "starving" eating and poor choices. My husband is to be congratulated though - he stopped me from eating fast food this weekend three time. That was really a help.

Right. Today is a day off for me. I'm heading out to the park to go walking.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Well behind the 8ball

omg...so far behind. I have my calorie tracking done - yesterday was.. shitty. Will have to put that up for the cold light of day to shine on soon. Likely this evening.

Today is good. Its friday and I have Monday off for MLK. I'm excited for a three day weekend and that means one thing. LOTS of walking in the mornings!

I will catch up here later.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Hump day...nearly done.

Today has been a struggle. Not that it has been a particularly difficult day work wise, but I'm having trouble getting in the grove. I need to get more sleep. A huge issue for me. Last night was an earlier night, and I fell asleep easily, which is a big concern for me. I don't like to lay awake in the dark.

So, lunch today I went to starbucks and got a skim milk latte with a pump of mocha and a zucchini walnut muffin.

I get back here and look it up for my spreadsheet and ....OMFG.... 490 calories for a F*CKING MUFFIN. wow. You know what. I'm not going to be doing THAT anymore. My "fat"brain was all...

"zucchini are vegetables... they are gooooood for you...... dooo itttttt" and I thought, yeah, I have salmon and couscous for lunch... I can do this.


Dinner tonight is a giant vegetarian Petaluma salad at Barnaby's. Good gawds. I didn't enjoy the damn muffin that much. 450 calories. Fug...it must have been made with pure butter. That is about the highest calorie thing on there. I didn't even LIKE it that much. *growly face*

Not only that, but my water has been LOW LOW LOW today. and I'm all bunged up in the pipes department. I had a small unpleasant poop this afternoon in the ladies loo here and usually I'm a more regular type girl. Especially with having chili yesterday... where are all the beans? !!! ??? It makes me a little bit scared. No wonder my belly is sore and I've been uncomfortable all day.

So... I'm pounding the water for the rest of today and getting myself back on schedule!!

Food today is:

Arctic blast!!

Evey time I hear that on the news it makes me think of a new flavor of gum or toothpaste.... Arctic blast...so delicious and cool. It will take your breath away.

Yes.. the arctic blast has even managed to worm is way all the way to Houston. This morning I wore my scarf, mittens and FLIPFLOPS! hahahaha I love flip flops. I have to wear dress shoes all day so... efff it. In the car, its flip flops all the way! Thats why cars have heaters!

I am lagging today... Wednesday... bleck. I'm going to need a coffee injection here in a little bit. So here is yesterdays review since I was too lazy to log on again last night.

Walk: 3.5miles (it was awesome out!! nice and chilly!!!)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


I was dressed and getting ready to leave the house this morning when the husband said to me: "are those new pants?"

Me: "No honey, they aren't. They just fit better now"

Happy Days!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Monday Weigh in

Alright...straight to business, even though I have yesterdays catching up. My non tracking for 5 days caught up with me.

Monday Weigh in:


Down .4lbs

However, I am back on track with my calorie counting and my water tracking and that is going to make a huge difference this week. I'm already excited.

Sunday was nice - chilly and we walked with long sleeves and long pants and I even got to wear my 2010 Olympic mittens!! I don't get much weather down this way to warrant that!

Tonight I'm going to do a little 30min walk minimum and I need to get a plan together to get some regular morning exercise in. I have some yoga tapes, and a gym membership. Now all I need to do is get to using them!!

I did some much needed emotional and mental work last night - I tried on a bunch of clothing that I bought last year that ... never fit. And now... it all does. In fact, there are three dresses that I had bought that I can wear all three of now. I'm ever so Pleased! I also bought a pair of 18/20 dress pants - they are a little stretchy (and not really formal - but good enough for a quiet day at the office once a week or so). YAY!!! moving on down from my 24's!

This week is going to be a focus on calorie counting - my water back up of 200oz a day, getting in a few good hard walks and then.... sleeeeeeeep. Last night I wasn't asleep until 12.45am. Not good. Must put the book down and go to sllllllleeeeeeeep.

okay - can't wait to get home and perv on some blogs.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Tracking Walking and Weekending!

Ahhhhhh! Today has just been totally awesome.

Woke up at 8am and got the husband up and out to go walking. We did a 3.5mile loop. I'm going to have to try and find a new bit that we can double back on to make it longer. The great thing today was we noticed how much easier it was to complete it. Small steps adding up there.

We went out for "brunch" at 12.30 and just finished out dinner at 6.30. My goat cheese cracker snack is done. I might have an apple later. Or some strawberries as today has been crab/protein heavy and light on veg. However I had a giant salad last night FULL of greenz!! So I'm not too worries.. the pipes have been moving all day! hehehehe

The weather here is supposed to take a turn of the worse tomorrow so I have my rain jacket and pants ready to get out fast and hard in the morning to make the most of whatever weather we get.

I'm back tracking. And... it feels good. Here is today:

Friday, January 7, 2011

Tracking Calories

Oh my it is beautiful outside. I took a short drive and spent most of my lunch hour at the park today. Just wandering in the sunshine and catching up with a couple of Canuck friends on the phone.

I was going to get a coffee at Starbucks, but there was not a single spot to park so I left and had my water and enjoyed myself without the coffee! :)

Back at the office with arse in chair. Today has been crazy busy - deadlines...why why why can the stuff only get done ON the day and not in the weeks before when I sent all this crap out? Its Friday people... lets try and enjoy ourselves instead of making it so hellish.

Mostly over now anyway. Tonight we are headed out for dinner to one of my favorite salad places. I can't wait! They are huge and Delicious. Tomorrow morning I have a big walk planned. Nearing 4 miles this time I think. The weather is going to cool off a little for the weekend, which I like.

Food is going good today. My tracking on my spreadsheet is going okay - I am just so busy recovering from the holidays....

wait ......

that is a big FAT F*CKING LIE!!! I'm feeling comfortable and not bothering to track as much. Right. That has been identified properly now. And I shall be doing my updating asap!! This is not the time to fall off and forget how I got to here. Here being the place where I am losing weight and enjoying life... not getting fatter again. DANGER DANGER!! My alarm has been triggered!!

Back...to tracking!! I'm behind on water today as well. Ah ha!... this is the Friday of self analysis!

Alright. Weekend...here I come. I can't wait to get out in the fresh air!!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Walking Onwards

I enjoyed my walk very much last night, however when I got home, I really didn't want to go.

I forced myself to get changed into my walking clothes.... sat around... put on my runners..... sat around....fiddled with this and that.... sat around....

Finally I just had to stand up and tell myself to stop stalling and get moving. It worked and in 10 minutes I was out in the night air enjoying the park with oh...about 300 other people out there making changes in their life for the better. All shapes sizes and speeds. Its a nice feeling and by the end of it - I really felt great physically for having gotten out and moved around.

I stopped at the Kroger on the way home and had a MAJOR NSV. Being alone in the grocery store at night after working out is a huge trigger for me to buy junk. In fact, going to get "a couple of things" at the grocery store is a bad one for me in general. If I'm doing a huge shop with a list I'm okay, but that quick nip in and out of the store has always been "Treat time for Tamzin". The hand is faster than the brain... and I would be leaving with a snickers bar or something else... M&M's etc. Always consumed in the vehicle, quickly, guiltily and then the remains hidden in the trash.

Last night, I thought about it... my old brain said - late night store visit = treat. I wrestled with myself a little and then said. No. I won't. I got in, got my stuff. Got out. I'm happier and stronger for it. This morning I weighed in... 284.8.

Onwards... and downwards!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Tonights Plan

Another office day has crept by. I can't believe its almost over, this afternoon has been Loooooong.

The husband is not feeling well, so as soon as I get home, I'm changing and heading out to do my big walk. 3.5miles I'm feeling today!

Dinner is a My Fit Foods breakfast fav - steak, egg whites and spicy potato. We have a couple episodes of Fringe to catch up on this evening and that is that.

This week is going well. I'm staying in my 1850 calorie range. Some of my choices are not the best, but today was better than yesterday and tomorrow is going to be better than today.

The time off has totally messed up my sleep schedule. Last night I finally feel asleep before 1am, I'm still waking up late and tired as all hell. But that shall soon change. I'm going to work back into my morning fitness routine. I like to relax in the evenings... the only way to do that is to get active in the morning! I can do it!!

right - home time. Walk ... here I come!

Honest Award

Being honest is easier when it’s anonymous. I would never be able to speak so freely if I knew that there was someone from my "real life" reading this.

I really like to try and be as honest as I can on here. When I come back here to re-read this I want to REALLY KNOW what it was that I was feeling, and doing. I will totally admit that reading back is occasionally difficult, embarrassing and hilarious. Which tells me that I am often on the right track.

So thank you to Sheilah/Mensa at I'm on my way for the Honest Scrap Award., and for commenting and leading me to your blog so that I have someone else to perv on!! She did a list of 10 honest things about herself... I'm going to do the same!

  1. I am afraid of spiders, ghosts, and most crawling insects. I crashed my car when I was 21 because there was a spider on the sunroof next to my head.

  2. I have broken my nose 5 times…its crooked now and I’m totally self conscious about it.

  3. I wish weight loss were easy and not such a struggle.

  4. I’m a lefty, and I love being that little bit different!

  5. I was once a medical test subject for an apatite suppressant in the UK.

  6. While there, I learned that my over eating has nothing to do with physical hunger.

  7. I avoid conversations regarding politics and religion, which is made easier by the fact that I am a Canadian living in the US and will never get to vote!

  8. I have never voted before in my life!

  9. I have size 11 feet. I’m hoping that when I am down to my goal weight, they will go back to a 10.5 or 10.

  10. I should be working right now! HA!!

Back to it now!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Brand New Year!!!

....just out of the box...all shiny and pretty!!

I just finished the last of my long blissful days off. I had my Mother in town visiting from the great white north. First time down here since I moved about a year and a bit ago. We went out for many a dinner did lots of walking around and really enjoyed the time. It was a great second holiday for me after the time off at Christmas.

I missed my Monday weight in – well not really. I weighed in – I just missed the posting of it. Which I will do now. However, in my defense I was out enjoying the sunshine walking in the park on Monday and a well deserved break from the internet!

January 3, 2011 - Weigh in: 286.4lbs

That is up .6lbs from last week.

The trend that I have had of the “UP-DOWN” has been getting smaller and smaller. Which pleases me a lot. I’m going to work on constant and continued losses from here out.

This week is the conclusion to my involvement in Allan’s Challenges. I am not moving into phase 4 as the 1200 calorie diet is not for me. However, what I have done and learned through his previous 3 challenges have actually changed my life. I am now thirsty for water. I am constantly thinking about the better options for food. I have reduced my snacking, I count my calories and I’m focusing on GOOD for me food. I’m not on the 1800 calories is 1800 calories even if its 1800 of twinkies a day.

I am happily surprised to make the top 10 of Allan’s weight loss peeps. It is a big achievement for me. I keep forgetting HOW HARD I have struggled to lose 14lbs before. Read here... YEARS of struggle. This time it came off with really just simple planning and maintenance of said plans. Here is my awesome-sauce of a button!

I’m looking forward to this year. Today I am at the office in my smaller pants, this morning I expected to struggle to get them done up. It wasn’t. They just slid right on and buttoned up – no fighting. I can even feel that my dress shoes are fitting better. My feet are less swollen and my circulation is better. I’ve added in more walking and this summer I’m looking forward to my Highland games competitions. I am going to enjoy shorts and tank tops. I'm going to look and feel better. Its very exciting to KNOW for sure that these things will happen.

I have yet to make any goals – other than the penultimate 190lbs goal. I have some special dates that are arriving this summer, so I need to get on top of that – the goal making that is. I’ve been flying a little too free this last couple of week with my food tracking and food planning. This week I’m getting back on top of it.

I for 2011 my main thought is this. I am my own worst enemy. This was clear over these three challenges. I fight, kick, whine, cheat and bargain. However, KNOWING is half the battle. So that is my goal for 2011. Make peace with myself and get me on track with what is good for me.

Right, regularly schedule posting is resuming now! I am SO excited for the rest of 2011 and all the blogs and people that I perv on. This is going to be a great year for Fighting Fat!