Thank you for stopping by to perv on my blog, as I fight myself to change my old habits and make new ones to get fit. I don't get it right all the time, but I'm still here and I'm still working at it.

Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!

My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Goals - February 2010

Time to set some better goals for February Goals that I can actually manage!

1. 30min of cardiovascular exercise on my feet 3 times a week. Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. I am not going to say where/when or what that form shall take. For now I just have to complete 30min of walking/running or elliptical machine sometime in that day.

I have to be at work at 8am - so my ability to manage a 6am wake up call is going to be hard if I'm going to get 30min exercise in before work. I'm going to try that, and I'm going to give the office gym a try as well. Mornings will require a LOT more prep from me, I'll have to take my work cloths with me and shower at the office (get a shower bag all set up...shampoo, conditioner, soap, deodorant, make up....Damn this is going to be a lot of work!) - I will have to give myself some good lee time just in case. Also I will take some gym clothes with me to the office and get myself to the gym at the lunch hour and see how busy that place it. I can be creative if its is full! Stairs, what ever...or - I can get in some weights. We shall see...

2. Step Class 2x a week. Monday and Tuesday night step class! This class really kicks my arse, so I need to go. It is at 6pm - so perfect for me to get there directly from the office and into the class. Quick hour and I'm at home before I know it. Over and Done!

There is a Saturday morning class if I happen to miss one or the other of these - so that is my backup plan.

Todays weigh in was a godsend. Last weeks gain and mental funk were terrible. I needed to know that this was working, and todays weight is proof that I'm doing the right things. THat makes me happy. So I'm continuing with tracking my foods, I use the http://www.calorieking.com/ at the office and I keep a draft email open all day to add in what I've eaten. I get home and plung it into my spreadsheet and VIOLA! I stay on track and know what I have left for calories for dinner.

This next month is going to be tough - I know that already. Its always easier to do one thing....but this month I'm going to work on getting in my fitness AND making sure I'm eating well/tracking my food. Wish me luck!

Weigh In Day!!

This week has been better - food wise, I'm managing well, exercise is a total flop, but I'm still plugging forwards. This mornings weigh in was a complete surprise... honestly I've been so upset this week that I've not been peaking......

292.4 lbs

Down 4.6lbs!!!!

I just have to say, that I have been doing well this week - tracking EVERYTHING that I've been eating and working in an office, although its not your cardiovascular kind of difficult, but it has certainly increased the amount of general activity that I do.

Later today I need to re-evaluate my goals - make a few changes - and then set the new ones for my working life.

I'm so pleased. Back into a routine, working, and through all the stress and changes... I managed to lose some weight.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Good Things!

1. This morning I got the husband up at 6am and we went for a 30min walk in the park! I thought that it might be too early and dark for me to run on my own there - but I was proved wrong (again). There are a lot of people and it is well lite. I will be able to do my runs there and then head to the office to shower! (once number 3 today is complete!)

2. Last night we signed on the new car, so I officially have wheels.

3. I will turn in my membership today for my office gym.

4. My period starts today and that solved some more of the "angry, bloated and fat" feelings. AH yes, why do I always forget about how that really does affect the body and the mind.

I'm thinking good thoughts today for all of you out there! This week long slump is OVER for this fat fighting gal!

Monday, January 25, 2010

quick update

Exercise... still not getting any! But I'm busier then a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!

This morning I was up, to the office with ALL MY LUNCH AND SNACKS PACKED! it was great - yummy salad, delish home cooked pesto and pasta with ground turkey meatballs. All in all, today was a great eating day.

My feet and calves are still swollen and sore, this 8 hours at a desk is going to take some getting used to again. Tonight is going to be feet up with a book once dinner is done.... Husband is currently cooking a shrimp stir fry! I can't wait.

Financing on a car is going rough... I was back at the dealership after work tonight, so our gym plans were cancelled. Such is life.... its hard switching countries - my credit doesn't follow, I have a bunch more things to have to do... fingers crossed or I'm going to be car less (again) very soon!

Checked out the office gym. Small, very basic stuff, but totally usable. The treadmills are... dodgy, they look like they might not stand up to the pounding that I may give them... however, the showers are AMAZING... so now I can run at the park - then shower at the office. There are a couple elliptical machines, and some weights as well. $10 a paycheck...not a bad deal I think. There is even a sauna...now... this is Houston, who would purposely expose themselves to an EVEN MORE steamy room has my respect! haha! oh...maybe its one of those dry ones... will have to investigate further.
Funny Cat pic... just to make this post more interesting! You're welcome!! haha

Right. I'm picking up steam again and going to be getting on track with running. I'm trying to not get too discouraged, but learning to persevere is all part of life.

Okay - dinner is almost ready - I am hungry enough to eat the bum of a skunk right now! Then bed, rest, feet up, good book. Hope everyone else is taking care of themselves. I shall perv upon you all later!

Sunday, January 24, 2010


Well... with the amount of swelling in my hands and feet this morning from yesterdays day long party that we attended... and the amount of food and cake and salty meats and cheese that I had... and that I was over by 500+ calories on the day..... this should be no surprise:

Weight: 297

I will tell you this. I was a very unhappy wife last night on the way home, and I was extremely pissed that we ended up staying at this party from 1pm to 10.30pm with not ONE SINGLE EFFING VEGETABLE to be seen. Pot luck of course. These friends are not the healthy living type. The closest thing that I got to a vegetable all day was guacamole.

I'm pissed. Very very pissed. Pissed that we ended up there for so long, pissed that I grazed all day with little thought to anything that I was eating, and pissed that we were told to being a meat and cheese plate instead of vegetables. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Well... surprise surprise surprise....I gained. This week is going to be MUCH better.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Ahhh Much better

Just got back from the Saturday morning hellish Step Class! My calves and ankles are sore and I have a blister on one heel, but I did it anyway. It was really great to get back in and get moving. This week has been such a cluster f**k that some regular exercise is a welcome relief.

Food has been okay - not great, so I'm not expecting tomorrow to have lost much, if anything at all. But I already know that, so I'm not going to be too hard on myself. Water has been good to excellent! I'm getting in more and more and feeling better for it.

Onto the Great news...


Let me just say that again... the building that I work in now has a GYM FOR ITS EMPLOYEES!!!!!!!!!!! Friday I finally got my "welcome" package and had a read through. I can't believe that when I was hired that no one told me about it?! (perhaps they looked at me and thought that there is no way that I would be interested??) How could that not be a huge bonus. I think it costs $10 a month, but there is showers, lockers and a gym! I'm going to go and have a look at it on Monday at lunch. I can't wait. All my running worries have been solved. PLUS... it means that I can get my running out of the way at lunch and go lift weights with the husband in the evenings that he wants to go. :)

Right... today is already overbooked. I have too many places to go and people to see so I don't have time to get on the blogs... and I'm missing it a lot!! :( I want to hear about how everyone else is doing.

okay... shower, more breakfast, a coffee and some laundry and then out for remainder of the day. I just sneaked this post in here while Mr.Tamzin is in the shower!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

My dogs are barking!

A bit of a break and lots of good ol' excitement at the Tamzin Ranch.

Trip to San Antonio was great - food was terrible and the hotel gym was packed. The Husband had to get to work so I never got in my Wednesday run sadly. I thought that my planning was solid, I just didn't expect that all the machines in the hotel gym would be in use. Silly me. :(

Food on the road was good, brought lots of water, fruit and jerky (salty...and I'm pretty swollen! but drinking lots of water). I was over in calories on Tuesday & Wednesday, but Monday and Thursday were under calorie days. Hoping that this will give me some balance through the weekend.

I got the starting date for my new job while in San Antonio, the call was Tuesday afternoon and I started Thursday/Today!!!!!! Which was a little bit tight for my liking, but how can I say no to the $$ and suggest a day later? We got in late Wednesday night, and basically got home, dropped the bags and went to bed.

Today was good - but let me tell ya... 4 months in runners and flip flops did not prepare my feet for a day in heels. I forgot what nearly 300lbs can do in a shoe! I have a large blister on the ball of my left foot...riiiight where the toes meet the foot pad. Needless to say, I can hardly walk now and I am going to be incapable of getting in my run tomorrow morning. Gerrrrr.

This is everything that I hate about being under prepared for this. I've been procrastinating since I got the offer, and now.... my fitness is paying for it. Which was exactly what I DIDN'T want to happen.

So this I promise. I might be in a mid-week slump, and not getting my runs and goals... but this is just one week and this is not going to be the way that things are for the rest of this month. Tonight I sat down and entered in all the last three days of calories, and I'm not going to stop that (cause I know Suzi would hurt me!). This weekend I'll be getting back on track with running, and figuring out a pattern that works for me.

Sad little time to perv on your blogs in the last few days, so I know I'm missing some interesting things. Will check on y'all soon!

Also!! Shout out to one of my commenters CactusFreak! I have been too busy to get to your blog but I will! And they suggested that I post a note about how good I feel after running so that in the mornings I have some notivation to get up and going. I LIKE IT!!!! And it shall be done.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Road Trip

Hubby is working for a couple days in San Antonio! I'm coming along for a change of scenery. Packed my gym clothes!!! I'm excited about the hotel gym and lounging in foreign book stores. I also have a bunch of fruit and veggies packed for the drive.

Likely will indulge a little more with some restaurant foods for dinners, but I am keeping the road snacks to a minimum and water to a maximum!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Day One...Whos your Daddy!

6.50 am alarm rings. Me thinking - HELL NO! Its dark & I'm tired & I don't wanna go.
7.00 am alarm rings. Me - ug, I have to go, I need to go. I should go I will feel better about it and I still have time. I will have to do the run later and I dont know what we are doing tonight...and I need something to post about on my blog!
7.10 am in the car.

I did it. Put on my running cloths (that were already laid out), jumped into the car and went to the park to run. It was quite nice once I started. I changed my route slightly, and really the run was great. My Ipod was dead...thought that it would charge overnight, but my computer went to sleep and the charge didn't happen. So I had to listen to my own breathing and thoughts today. I didn't do too badly. Its so strange to think that I can now go for a 30min+ long run and feel good.

I'm not speeding along mind you - shuffling is more what I would descirbiee my pace as, but I did actually gain ground and pass some walkers... so that is something!

3 sets 10min running, 1min rest between and 1 5min extra run at the end. CHECK!

Distance that I covered today was 2.46miles... I'm really close to being able to run the loop of hte park instead of doing a cresent pattern!!! :)

Once it was over, I can see that my argument about it being too dark is foolish - its light out and the park is packed with runners and walkers. Its just another excuse that I try to fool myself into believing so that I can stay in bed.

However, I did go back to bed when I got home... foolish for two reasons, now I'm HUNGRY! and my pillow smells of sweaty hair! haha I'll have to wash the sheets today!

Today I really need to focus on getting lots of water and good food into me!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Goals Setting - Month 2

Wow... a whole month has gone by... amazing! I'm still VERY pleased about my weigh in this morning.

Counting Calories works.... I know this... Its been done and proved before.

Should you (yes YOU) ever read that I am too (insert excuse here) to count calories anymore I would like you (yes YOU!!) to leave me a comment to tell me to stop being such a (insert any other word you would like!!).

Today I'm going to set my new goals. I have been mulling it over for some time... life is up in the air with potential new start date for new job, Mr.Tamzin is traveling for for work and of course, the slacker mentality creeping in to try and get to go easy on myself...

I've been procrastinating because I'm afraid to set goals that I might not meet, the alternative of "no structure" is a lot less desirable then missing some goals. Fail to plan is planning to fail. So, here we go.

Here are my new Monthly Goals:

Running - Mon/Wed/Fri - 3x 30min, 1x 5min, 1 min rest between sets
Yoga -2x week for 30min or more (anytime before dinner on Sunday evening)

All other exercise is extra - and I will still try to get to my step class Tuesdays, but as with last month - it isn't my top priority... getting in my runs and yoga at home is. I've added in an extra 5min of running to my time and 2 sessions of 30min yoga (I really need to work on my flexibility and strength).

Well. There you go. I've tried to not mess with it too much, and although I've struggled occasionally with getting/making the time to do this - I think that this is solid, and achievable!

Right... now to perv on some other blogs and see what YOU are up to! Better be good... Or Else!!! :)

For posterity:
Month 1 Goals - Completed
10min running x 3 with 1 min rest between

Dec 18 - done
Dec 21 - Done
Dec 23 - Sick
Dec 25 - Done
Dec 28 - Walked
Dec 30 - Done
Jan 1(2)- Done
Jan 4 - Done
Jan 6 - Done
Jan 8 - Done
Jan 11 - Done
Jan 13(14) - Done
Jan 15 - Done!


Weighed in this morning... I was worried...of course, because yesterday was not a great day for eating, but last night I drank my water, nibbled a few veggies and never really was hungry.


Down 1.4lbs.

I`m very very pleased with my progress! *happy fist pumping jumping up and down ~ Tom Cruise on Oprah's sofa style*

Saturday, January 16, 2010

What a day....

Today is a total dice roll....not good management on my part. When will I learn that I should NEVER BE ALLOWED IN PUBLIC WHILE HUNGRY. E.V.E.R.!

I've eaten what can only be described as "total shite" ....greek omelet, fruit bowl, bagel with full fat cream cheese and ..... cheesecake shared with the hubby. ARG!!! I had the chance to say no... but I didn't. Must work on that. N.O. no not, nil, never, no thanks......

In some balance.... I did exercise my butt off for an hour on the treadmill, had it at a 2% incline and walked for an hour solid...did just over 3miles! Very sweaty and happy about that.

So I'm going to have to really try hard while we are out this evening to snack on the veg and not the chips. I should be able to manage. I've put my calories into my spreadsheet, and I've made a lit of all the things that I will have while I'm there and entered those in, so that is the battle plan for this evenings social event.

In toto - This week has been really good for eating calories wise,I've been spot on or just under everyday on what my max eating is suppose to be. So today's food is not as nutritious, but I'm not over my daily caloric intake... tonight's fill up will be lots and lots of water!

WI tomorrow.... dunnn dunnnn dunnnnnnnnnnnn! I've not peeked this week... so this is going to be a surprise for all of us! :D

....also...still need to set next weeks goals.....

Friday, January 15, 2010


Todays run is the four week final goal run that I set for myself and

it is now... COMPLETED!

And... It was a great one. I ran really hard, with .5 degree of incline for the first 25min of it... then 0 degree incline for the rest. It was great - I felt good while running, strong and without stress and pain. I have to say that this run was fabulous... a lot of that was that for the first time in a long time I have followed through and really worked hard. Oh yes, I missed a couple of runs... but ...

I completed 11 of 13 runs... 1 of the 2 I missed I walked instead, and then there were 2 days that I differed the run to the next day. I would like to say that I did my run on Christmas morning!! :) Very pleased with self on that one.

So there we go! 11 runs with an average of 2 miles completed means that over this challenge that I set for myself I ran 22 miles. YAY ME!!

Tonight is homemade pizza night and movie time. My legs are nice and sore/warm and I'm looking forward to cuddle time on the couch! Then tomorrow, I'm going to post the new goals that I've been thinking about. Might even.... go for a run! :D


Today is D Day!!! Decision melt down coming......

Today I will finally complete the goal that I set for myself to run three days a week for 4 weeks (today's run will be this afternoon with happy-happy-joy-joy celebration post to come!). I will admit that there were times and days when I really didn't want to go... but I did. And near the end, there were times where it was really really enjoyable.

I'm now struggling with how to set and organize my next challenge... scary stuff for me to be honest.

Obligatory whining: I've not heard back from my new job about a start date - or a start time in the mornings... I'm stuck as to what to do about that. Mornings... not great about getting up and I've been using the gym more and more instead of running outside. I need to stop that. Last night I did put some elevation on the machine to simulate outdoors... but its not really the same as making yourself move on the trail. ...back on track here...

What goals to set....so many choices.....

Monday/Tuesday - Step Class? Running?
Wednesday - yoga at home? Running?
Thursday - Running? Yoga?
Friday - Weights?
Saturday - Step class?

Exercise on weekends has been really inconstant so I don't want to force something on the weekend. Weekdays are more regular and easier to control... does anyone else like weekdays because of that too?? I just find that I can really control myself better when there is a timeline... Saturday rolls around and its bed until 10 and then... late coffee and not really motivated to get my butt anywhere....

I also know from my first goal post that IF I set too much and make this too hard... I will give up and not complete it at all. I have a very long history of doing just that (which has been documented over the last year + in this blog)...NOT that I'm proud of being a quitter... in fact its quite hard to deal with, which is why I give up... bad cycle really. *sigh*

Need to get making some lists and decide... what am I going to do here.....

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Swing and a miss....

At least I got another swing at it later today, however, I did not get up this morning to go running. I tried... I really really tried... okay... I kinda tried, not really that hard. I turned the alarm off and went back to sleep.

I did get my run in today!! I didn't like it - and it was hard and I was pretty much hating every minute of it... but I did it.

So. One more tomorrow and then I get to set my new goals!! Weeeee!!!!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

missing out....

on my run today!! Yikes.. today melted away and this morning was a nightmare. So my run will not be completed today. ARG! So close. I will do a make up run - but that's just not the same.

Today's Errors:

1. I didn't do my prep last night, instead intending to do it this morning. I.e. have my gym bag all packed up and ready to come with me today.

2. Choosing to stay longer at my morning social event...like until 3pm instead of 1pm... and missing out on my run time.

If I had my running gear I would be just finishing my run now... but since I didn't I had to come home and have to get the hubby now at the office... leaving in 5min. We also have plans tonight with friends, so dinner is going to be pretty heavy. I know I will stay under my calories, but its going to be close.

Tomorrow morning I have to drag myself out of bed and get to the park to run. It is not an option to miss. MUST DO.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

7 things....

I got a Beautiful Blogger award from Katie J... she has never seen my face, so lets just say I got in by default! haha ;) And... I think she is looking forwards to hearing the 7 most interesting things that I can post about myself....

Lets see:

1. I have a mini rib. My lowest right rib in my ribcage is only half the size that it should be...Its genetic (Chiro was telling me). I call it Adam, my ribblet! Never bothered me and I don't suspect that it ever will.

2. I love sci-fi, fantasy, post apocalyptic and zombie books. I read a LOT. I haven't had a TV in 5 years until I got to Houston. I would read one or two books a week. If you want a suggestion I have a lot....just in case you were looking to get some great fantasy books in your rotation.

3. I broke my neck in 2003. Fractured my C3 in a sports match. The paramedics arrived and the Ambulance man said to his partner (after eyeballing me) - "get the no-neck collar". I said to him, "I heard that". It was quick funny... although at the time I thought that my neck was fine and that I would be just peachy. After my x-rays and CAT scan, I was wrong. Never paralyzed or anything, so I'm quite lucky. I've always been thick and ... well... I don't have a long graceful neck. I think that I remember this both because it was funny, but also because I was a little ashamed of my short bull neck.

4. My grandparents house is haunted, and I am terrified of ghosts.

5. I'm a lefty. I quite enjoy being a sinister southpaw!! But I do have a lot of trouble telling right from left if I'm giving or taking directions while driving.

6. I have over 3 feet of scars on my body from all kinds of surgeries and injuries. I measured them all out with a tape measure one day a few years ago.

7. I was a medical test subject. When I was a broke traveler in the UK I went and signed up for a test subject job for a week in a medical facility that was testing nasal spray that inhibited hunger. I'll have to write more about it some time. It was quite the experience. In the end it really taught me that hunger has nothing to do with wanting to eat and that even if I had a spray (that worked), I would have been overweight. I think I was 220lbs then. Best of all was that I made 1,000pounds for 7 days of work and was fed and housed the whole time. Winner!
**Bows** that is all!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Why is it that....

....works outs are needed the most - when you want to do them the least??

I spent the better part of this afternoon not wanting to go for my run...even though I knew that I had to - especially since I'm LOVING completing them and posting about completing them!!!

Got to the gym and did my run. It was nothing to be scared of. Completed, Checked off and Enjoyed. Did I say how much I love marking my runs as done.... LOVE IT!

Getting a big ol' bottle of water & eating good dinner... feeling pretty darn happy with the world right now.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Slow and steady?

Wow... last nights pub outing was a tough one... the first place we went to there was 4 applies of queso and chips ordered and at least three different people tried to get me to eat. I had my "we just ate before we came out so I'm stuffed, but thank you" all practiced up before I got there. :)

So I drank club soda with a twist of lime and I .... ATE NOTHING! *Yay Me*

Then we went to another more local smaller wateringhole and there was a staff birthday going on - and half the place was just a mass of food - key lime pie, cakes, cheese etc etc etc. Of course, we are sitting at the table right next to the food. I never knew that I could be so tempted, there was a part of me that really wanted to go over there and stuff my face. I didn't. Had another club soda and lime and finally got the hubby out of there at 12.45 at night. I'm a tired puppy today.

Got on the scale - which I've not been peeking at this week... and lost .8 lbs. I'm really trying to be more excited, but I'm not. Arg....why so hard to please??? I see this over and over in my blog and when reading other peoples.... if I was +.8lbs up I would be totally devastated, but losing close to 1lbs is not really making me happy.

Why is it so hard to please myself...remember self... that in the last 4 months you have gained an average of 1lbs a week for your +16.8lb gain since getting to Houston. So this is really like a 2lbs change in a better direction. There... that is MUCH better!

Just reviewed my food diary as well. I was close to all my calorie restrictions - some days over, some day s under... however since Thursdays disaster meal to last night I've not been eating "good" foods, cooked at home from lean meets and veggies. Its been all eating out and fatty foods. So - there I go.

I did lose 1lb this week - which is what my calorie restriction is set to (-500calories a day from optimum for a caloric deficit of 3,500calories - or 1lb). But the last three days are all fat and sugar. So this is very doable, and with better eating style (see first week) I can easily get my body losing more.

Reason and logic taking hold...Okay...feeling much better! Slow and steady wins the race!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Belt fit better today

But today has been three meals out and we are off to meet friends at the pub. All water for me here on out. I've had my calories for the day, but it was close....

Weight in tomorrow!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Done, Done and.... Done!

Running - Done!
Job Hunt - Done!
Freaking out about food & ranting like a fool - DONE!

Wow... what a total 180 this afternoon.

After all that posting & freaking & huffing & puffing & sulking ... I got a call this afternoon and got offered one of the jobs that I interviewed for. The good one. HURRAY!!! I shall rejoin the land of the employed. Monday I go in for all the paperwork. What a total relief. I told my hubby that today's shite interviews were good job karma and getting the call today was the reward.

He got home and we got our things together and headed off to the gym. I did my run and it was decidedly.... pleasant. 5min walking warm up and 3 sets of 10 min of running and 1 min walking break between. I felt good, and pace was nice and even. I did some ups and downs, but mostly ran at the 3.4-3.6 pace, but got up to the 4.0's again for a little bit. Really is amazing what a little bit of exercise does for the mood.

Today I've been hungry a lot (like right now while typing this), legitimate tummy growling hunger. However, I've not had anywhere near enough water - which is why I had such a food spaz this afternoon. I'm trying to get through the rest of this liter and then we are going to go out for some sushi to celebrate my job. I have a good chunk of calories left for today - so we will be good and get lots of salmon and tuna belly ....easy on the rice! :D I can't wait.

That is all!

Trifecta of Eating-Evil Defeated

1. Angry
2. Frustrated
3. In a vehicle all alone

I just got back from an "interview", which ended up being some sort of weird testing facility where I had to do spacial, number pattern and algebra/math questions. No calculators allowed (but that is beside the point - but seriously...no calculator?? wtf).

I was contacted for an interview for a job -they have called me a couple times for different jobs - I do administrative work (you know...paper pushing etc) and was mislead into thinking that I would be actually MEETING someone for an INTERVIEW to discuss the skills that I do have... not to test me for an hour on the skills that I don't have... If I was good at math I would be a f*cking administrator.

I was in my suit, hair done, make up on, all ready for an interview.... nadda. Not to mention that I wasted nearly an hour yesterday doing their testing online at home and now had the privilege to DRIVE over to the testing building and NOT MEET A SINGLE PERSON TO TALK ABOUT THE JOB. Seriously... I am/was/still am VERY VERY PISSED.

And so... there I was....in a car (aka: food charriot) and mad and frustrated for wasting time that I could have been doing something productive with.....as in...I did not get my run in this morning because I had a 9am interview that went until 11am so I didn't have time to get to the gym before this stupid interview and now I see I should have just effed this one right in the a and gone running instead.... and that is when the mental destruction began to take hold.....

**evil little voice in head** I should go and get a coffee (read here +500 calorie bomb eggnog latte)... and maybe a little treat... you know... you deserve it, you've had a rough day - you are already out in the car - you can hit the drive-through - you won't even have to get out - your feet hurt - you are mad - you know what would be nice... and hot coffee treat from Starbucks - you have cash - do it.... DO IT... DOOOO EEEETTTTTT

I almost had to slap myself... I told myself that I would NOT be going to Starbucks and I would be going home to get changed, relax and if I still wanted a coffee later I could go and get one.

So... Eff you trifecta of fat. I fart in your general direction. I'm at home making a coffee for 42 calories and is just as nice a treat to the mind. And I might have a banana.

**I'm sorry for the amount of profanity these last few days!

quick one....

I was saving calories for tonight's dinner as I knew it was going to be a big'un....but this was so far out of what I expected that I had to blog about it...

We had Chicken Rice & Sour Cream casserole....minus the chicken?!!!!!! sour cream casserole????? WTF? Where was I when sour cream became a main and not an accoutrement. This dinner was basically (mushy) rice in sour cream, cream of chicken soup, rotell (tomatoes & chilies), some onion soup mix or something... and covered in cheese that was melted (not even baked) on top. There was supposed to be chicken in it, but she forgot to add that...

HOLY SHIT! It was creamed mush with cheese....and about as tasty as that sounds to boot. I can't believe that people eat that shite. Her and her husband are both trying to lose weight... he even had lap-band done (lost 40lbs in the first three months over a year ago and no movement since). Little wonder if dinners consist of baked tubs of sour cream with some rice and cream of chicken soup! OMG just typing that made me feel ill.

Okay - I'll be fair, there was salad served as well - the bagged kind (I'm all for that - easier is better) but it was served with corn chips in it and the dressing... ranch (lite thank the gawds).

Anyway - I had a great time, enjoyed watching the football with them, but seriously... I worry for their colons. Get some protein and fibre people! Anyway, I stayed within my daily calories (hurray), but my gawds... I could have had a lot more of something way more enjoyable then that for dinner.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Day off

Today is an exercise off day, but I certainly was busy.

I have two interviews tomorrow to prep for, and I had a call this morning from an agency regarding a position that they would like to put me forward for, so I ended up going in and interviewing for that this afternoon (shower, blow dry hair, do make up, but on suit & heels and make sure there is no lipstick on teeth!).... Here's hoping!

Also had over 2 hours of computer skills testing , math testing, ethics test and a personality test (for one of the interviews tomorrow) for today's interview and one of the ones for tomorrow.

Interesting to note: In the personality test it had a bunch of questions about what kind of person you are - do you like to work sitting in one place, do you need frequent breaks, do you mini interruptions... and in all these questions this one came up and gave me pause.... Have you ever wished for a different body, or disliked your appearance.... WTF??

*shakes head* oh well.. I had to answer yes to that one. It was a large test of just over 90 questions - but I did find it interesting that this was one of the things that it wanted to know/rate you on.

Happily, the interviews on Friday are both in buildings that are about 3 blocks from my gym!! So I will have the hit the gym for my run once my interviews are over! That will be a great way to get rid of that excess of nervous energy off that I will build up. No excuses tomorrow! It will be done. And inside...cause its bloody cold out there for Houston!

Food has been great today, but I've been sitting here reading blogs and getting fidgety about...you guessed it... food. So it was posting time and now its busy time... up and at it now!

I just had some more water, and I'm going to finish my liter. I think that I'm bored. I don't feel actual hunger....so I'm off to do some chores and see if I can distract myself away from extra calories!! Dinner out tonight, so I have to be good and not eat too much now so that I over eat later.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Do you ever just want to punch yourself in the face?

OMG this morning was a tough one. It was one of those mornings that ... oh... 2 months ago I would have given up and gone back to sleep and told myself lies. Today I even hit snooze, however, I managed to crawl out of bed and get into my running clothes.

All I can say is good thing that I had everything laid out all ready to go, or this day would have been a bust. Even once I was out on the trail warming up I had more "I don't wannas". I finally had to say out loud "DO IT YOU BABY".

Lets see - here are a few of the arguments/lies that I tried to tell myself so that I didn't have to run today:

-I'm tired
-think I"m getting sick (total BS lie to myself)
-I'll do it later
-It's kinda dark out - I can't run in the dark
-my ankle hurts
-my foot hurts
-my hands are cold
-I've done good and lost 2 lbs....I can take a day off this one time
-I have to pee
- people are looking at me
-I wanna be at the gym
-its cold
-Running outside is hard

In the end - I just started my watch and got to running. If you can believe it...I ran for 8.5 minutes before I looked at my watch.... which is AMAZING if you read about my first run here. Also.... I only did finger math twice to figure out how much longer I had to run. Total victory there! :)

Running on the track is harder then the treadmill. You don't get any momentum from the belt, but I tend to run harder on the TM as well. Trade off - in reality - I don't give a rats arse where I do it as long as I do it... and today was going to be bad for me to steal the car from the hubby for the day....so it was this morning or nothing... and I was NOT going to do nothing today!

So there you go, I did it! I'm sweaty and tired and my run is done and I get another gold star on the side of my blog for completing! :D

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

think good thoughts

Today I have an interview... getting in the shower now, and time to get mentally prepped. Think good thoughts for me!

Just had a pear with 2oz of lite goat cheese and 8 crackers. 476cal and SO GOOD! Plus, I have no desire to scarf down the rest of the cracker bag... that is a first!

Hoping to get to step class tonight, not sure if I will be home in time. Might have to go to the gym later with Mr.Tamzin!

EDIT:: Interview went well. Hoping for an offer this week. Did NOT get any fitness is, however was good on calories today!! :)

Monday, January 4, 2010


Another goal tucked under my belt today. A morning of procrastination, however I successfully negotiated my way to the gym today. This mornings treadmill jaunt was actually.... enjoyable!!!! I started at a light pace and worked hard in the second half of the ten minute sets. I was focusing today on staying strong though my core.

The time flew by and at the end I felt like I could have done another set of 10! What a great feeling.

Set 1
7min 3.4
3min - 3.6
Set 2
5min 3.5
3min 3.6
2min 3.8
Set 3
5min 3.5
3min 3.8
2min 4.0

The bad news is that yesterday one of my back teeth got a chip. I have an appointment shortly here, to see what can be done. I'm upset as I have no insurance for this sort of thing and I'm still not employed. ARG. Of course the dentist that did the filling in that tooth is in Canada... so its not like I can go in there and see if they can fix it for free. :( Rawr.

But such is life and I know I can't leave these kinds of things without care so I will have to buck up and pay. I hope its easy and cheap (ish!).

Todays goal - 3L water!

Alrighty, time for some breakfast and a shower!

EDIT:: tooth fixed...$250 lighter in the wallet now. :( But my chompers are important so it had to be done.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Weigh in and a reflection

Its been a week since my all new high weight of 297.8lbs. I've been doing a lot of reading this week, and thinking about how I have let myself get up to this point. I had been avoiding the scale because I knew that there was really bad news and then finally - when it looked like I was going to have to get a whole new wardrobe... I weighed in and really gave myself a shake.

This last week I have been making some changes for the better and thinking more about helping myself instead of feeding my emotions.

1. I have done 5 out of 7 runs. This last one finally showing me the results that I wanted... that being that it was not as difficult and even *gasp* slightly enjoyable! This morning my legs and hips are warm...but not "sore". Its forward progress and I wanted to be sure to note it!

Also, what I have done this time with my goals is different from before.... that after missing my first run (goal) I would have just given up. "I missed and didn't get my goal - might as well not bother and try something else"... where as this time I thought "damn it... I'm not going to let this beat me - I have to keep trying to run". I will admit that it was fueled by the thought of having to post on here for all of you that I had once again given up. So, thanks!! :)

2. I have started tracking my food calories again. This, as I have seen over and over and over and over in many peoples blogs... is really key. Even for those that don't "track calories" they are doing something that makes them look at what they are eating. I have fallen victim of mindless eating way too many times and look where it has got me.

I read back and over the last few months how many times have I typed "eating was okay today" or "eating was good today". I gained 16lbs... I highly doubt that I was remembering all that I had eaten. I also gave me an all new appreciation for some of the things that I had been having.... I would think nothing of having 1 or even 2 eggnog lattes on a Saturday. O.M.G ... they are 480 calories each! So, what was a mindless treat has now become and ACTUAL TREAT.... as in one ever couple of weeks... or like today. Will be calculated into my intake for the day.

3. Water... my bugaboo. I'm still not drinking anywhere near enough, and I'm working on it. Dehydration is bad in so many ways.

OKAY! on to the good stuff!

This morning I got up and weighed in for the first time in ...well I can't remember.

Jan 3, 2010

295 for a total loss of 2.8lbs in one week!!!

I am really proud of myself today. :)

Saturday, January 2, 2010


I.AM.GRUMPY.TODAY. I don't often have really grumpy days, but this one took hold last night and is not showing signs of dissipating anytime soon.

Another run under the belt. Again....I didn't want to go and I spent the majority of the morning thinking of excuses for not going until a fit of rage against my laziness took hold and I marched into the bedroom, got changed and went to the gym.
OH....and wtf is this about.... i get on a treadmill and it is the only one in a row of 11 that is being used and some dude gets on the one RIGHT BLOODY NEXT TO ME. Needless to day I gave him the evil eye for a good minute and this did nothing to improved the grumpy mood that I am in already. Seriously though... MOVE.THE.EFF.OVER. ....end rant.

I spent a good portion of the morning procrastination trying to debate gym vs park for running. I don't mind running in the mornings, when there are less people and more of them are runners. Kind of like... they are there for the same purpose and less judgemental. Once 10.30am hits I am not keen in bouncing my fat ass around a public park track huffing like a steam engine and getting passed by speed walkers!!!!! Not to mention the all kinds of people walking and running and eyeballing me! eep!!

Ug... anyway today's victory is that I went and did my run! I was really pleased with it as well - the last 5 minutes were the hardest that I have pushed myself and I felt good once it was done. The Swass Chaff is still there, but healing! :)

Time for a shower and then some chickpea & ground turkey meatloaf with squash for lunch.

Then... I need to figure out why I am so grumpy today and get some more happy into it!
Goal Today - 3L water!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Swass Chaff

Today was a running day, but due to Wednesdays sweaty ass chaff (Swass Chaff), from running inside on the treadmill, I decided to let my neither regions have a day in Lieu to recover.

Tomorrow morning I will do my Jan 1 run. :)

These last 2 days have been hectic. I don't feel like I've had much in the way of me time, or relaxation. We had some friends drop in unexpected for two days and we ended up giving them the full Houston tour for both yesterday and today.

Thursday we were out of the house from 12.30 until 2am with a very brief stop in to change cloths for our new years even party at around 10pm. We took them out to one of the major outlet mall places... damn I wish that I had worn my pedometer....since we were there for nearly three hours walking. My legs were dying!

Today we were up and gone at 11 this morning and finally back home tonight at 5.00pm. Phew!

The bad news is that having people to show around and being out all day means two things:

1. I did NOT drink enough water... not even close
2. we ate out WAY too much.

I am back to tracking my calories and yesterday was a crap shoot. I didn't do too badly, but I was some 600 calories over my daily allowance, not great. However, I did eat only when I was actually hungry and .....DRUM ROLL PLEASE.... left food on my plate when I was full!!!!!!!!!! Major Non Scale Victory there.

Anyway, I'm taking some time to myself right now. I'm boycotting the family dinner tonight since it is fatty, creamy, calorie laden with butter and smells horrible to me right now (crab au gratin and beef stroganoff) *barf*.

YAY BODY for knowing that what I want and need is water and a quiet place to read and relax.... me thinks its time for a hot bath.