Thank you for stopping by to perv on my blog, as I fight myself to change my old habits and make new ones to get fit. I don't get it right all the time, but I'm still here and I'm still working at it.

Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!

My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Weekend catch up

First off.

Totally slept in this morning and didn't weigh in. POOP!! Will have to do that tomorrow morning. Last week was a busy one. I really really didn't want to go running on Wednesday, but I did and..... IT WAS GREAT.

I'm so happy that I have a running buddy again, it makes a world of difference to have someone there to count on you. We even did a 6min x 5 running with 1min between. We are getting to the point where we can easily cover 5min and don't eve know it has gone past and I end up looking at my watch and 6 and a half minutes has gone by! Love it!

Period is almost over, wearing my new "didn't used to fit" pants today. They are a little tight, but of course..... WATER...

I'm totally not getting enough water. GD this is hard work. right...speaking of that. I need to get back to it.

More later!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Catch up & weigh in

Friday - running! 5x5min/1min walking between. Its getting HAWT!!! Sunday - Walking - 1 hr good paced walking. Spent the rest of the day running around and keeping busy. NEED TO GET TO BED EARLIER. omg. I'm killing myself with the late nights. Weigh In: 288lbs (down 1.6lbs) This week is packed: Tonight is running, then softball Tuesday - weights Wednesday - running Thursday - weights Friday - Habitat for Humanity! That will knock me on my butt!! Saturday - traveling Sunday - traveling This week is going to be a tough one. But I know that I can do it. Tuesday is going to be weights and prep day. Food, lunches, weekend packing in advance!! Water is ok - not great. Period is going to start this week. *joy* that could be part of the reason why I've been holding more water than usual. Going to pound my way through 5L today. down 1.5L at the moment. Get another 1.5 in me before leaving the office and then tonight I'll be moving around and drinking. back... to... work!!!!! WALL O'TEXT...don't know who to fix it and don't have time right now. stupid blogger. RAWR :(

Friday, March 25, 2011


Ahhhh last night I got back on on the trail for a run with my running buddy.

I have to say, I REALLY NEEDED THAT!

Its getting much easier and we ended up running longer sets then intended because we were so busy chatting and moving.

5min walk
5min jog
1min walk
6.5min run
1min walk
6.5min run
1min walk
5min run
5min walk

my ankles are really swollen and its been creeping up my legs. I've been trying to get lots of walking at work done, but the desk is where my magic happens, and this week has been crazy. So sitting sitting sitting.

So very not good.

Water is better, as is food.

Tonight we are back on the trail for another run - making up for missing on Tuesday. Sunday is the long slow day - 3.5mil walk is on the books.

Looking forward to the weekend and catching up on my blogs. :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


a couple days late.

This past weekend was a blast. The sun was out, we spent all day throwing heavy things around in the grass. I got my workout, that is for sure.

The rest of the weekend was a lot of driving, and then cleaning and organizing.

The Good:
I pulled out all my short pants from last summer. Its getting hot here. And there are 2 pairs of pants I bought last summer that finally fit me!! HURRAY!! solidly in the 22's and out of the 24's. I have a skirt and another pair of short pants that are 20's...just hanging in there waiting for me.

Sunday I did a big walk as well - 3miles in the heat. Got to get accustomed.

The Bad: I got a massive sun burn on my arms. Poor application of sunscreen. And then... Mondays weigh in:

289.5lbs ... thats a big gain +6lbs and change.

wow.... um. Well I don't know what to say there, but that weight loss is hard, and I don't think that is a realistic number based on my clothing. But it was on the scale so it goes here.

I'm pretty behind on water and the intense day of exercise might have a little something to do with that as well.

Regardless, I'm still carrying on. Tonight is massage night, Thursday Friday and Sunday is running this week. Which is a lot more fun than I remembered. Quite enjoying it really.

okay - no more time for this right now. Must get to work.

Friday, March 18, 2011


Yay!! got out and did my Thursday run with my buddy. Tuesday was a skip as she was out of town, but I did a walk with the hubby instead.

Ahhh exercise. It just feels so good once I’m out there… but by gawds, I never want to start!!

I hate the dark mornings, but I love that it is light out until 8pm. We did a little trail run in the dirt paths at the park. 5min jogging, 1 min walking times 5 times. We also got a little lost… on a trail I didn’t know where it ended, but it was nice and just meant we eneded up with an extra 10min of walking after the running was done. No harm done there!

I also did a little bit of weights with the hubby after and had a good sleep last night!!

My legs and shoulders are sore, so I have to be sure to get in some more stretching.

This weekend I’m up in the North Texas enjoying a Scottish festival! Lots of fun and festivities! I should be back Saturday night, so I have my Sunday run to do. Or we may just do a log slow walk. That would be good too.

Yesterday I wore a 1x shirt that I bought three months ago. It finally fit!!! I regret not taking pictures of it then and now.

In fact it is totally time for more pictures and I've been lazy and not doing it. Time to get my photo ON. Another project for Sunday.

For eating and watering: Eating has been on and off, but all my clothes are feeling good. I’ve still not been getting enough water, I can tell since I POUNDED my half Liter in the car this morning so fast I forgot if I had even had it. HA!!

Right. Work is slow, there is next to no one in the office so I can get some blog perving caught up!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Monday Weigh In

Ahhhh what a great long weekend, we were up in Austin for the start of the SXSW event there. Very fun. Also did some cave exploring and walked around a lot.

We ate out, but I made good choices, and mostly we ate 2 meals a day, with a snack. Lots of water, but I should have had more. That is the goal this week - MORE WATER. Back in the office today and kicking off a very busy week.

Now to the good stuff.

Weigh In: 283.2lbs!


-4lbs this week. I'm very pleased.

Thursday, March 10, 2011


I have my running gear with me, so I'll be stopping in tonight to get changed at my running buddies and then we are hitting the trail! Can't wait!

This weekend we are away and I have plans to make sure that we get in plenty of walking and hiking in Austin. Not just eating. >.>

Packing is half done, car still needs some stuff shifted out to the house. But I'm excited.

Did a mid point weigh in and I am down from monday (YAY). So I'm going to keep that going for the weekend and I'm looking forward to the next weigh in.

Not much else going on here. Need to up the water today, missed my morning drinking fest on the way to work as I didn't have any extra bottles in the car. Damn! Catching up is always harder then if I just had been prepared in the first place.

okay - back to work!!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Tuesday Catch up

Yesterday at 4:30pm...my phone alarm went off and I realized.. that I had booked my massage on Tuesday night NOT Thursday night. Oops!!!!

Skipped the running and went to my massage, which was amazing! I felt totally relaxed and fell asleep last night before midnight. That hasn't happened in a month or more.

I'm going to try and get a quick walk in tonight, but I might not be able to get that done. Thursday night we are off to Austin for a long weekend, and I have not done any packing or prepping. Oops! And the car HAS to be cleaned out before we leave.

I am going to do my after work run on Thursday, then home, quick shower, stuff into car, dog to the sitters and then out! We usually don't leave the big H until 7.30 or 8 anyway. The traffic is much less savage at that time.

Today is one of those busy days were not much gets done. Meetings, appointments. I'm finally at my desk today with my lunch (cucumber salad and 2 deviled eggs) and getting stuck into the afternoons workload.

*whip cracking sound* must get to it!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


OMG I had a good time last night. Ended up playing second base (because of my huge bewbees!! hahaha second base...ha... I'm so funny!!).

I got a bruised hand for one of my efforts. Man that guy could zing in a ball. It was a lot of fun, I didn't get on base, but we were well out classed by the two other teams we played.

However, I got out and did a buttload more exercise than you would think, and had a lot of fun doing it.

One of hte best parts was the bats. There were bats swooping in catching bugs in the lights!!! You could hear them doing thier sonar calls.

Tonight is jogging with my friend. Which is going to be great since I'm a little tight in the legs and this will loosen it all up.

Also... on a good note. I went to bed just starting to get hungry last night. Haven't done that in a long time.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Lunchtime Fun!

Everyone else is doing it... so I will too. ha!

Age: 36
Bed size: King!
Chore you hate: dishes
Dogs: Aussie cattledog x rottie, rescue doggie that has been with us for about 6 weeks.
Essential start of your day: water, must get that first liter in before I get to work. "drinking and driving!
Fave color: orange
Gold or silver: Silver/white gold, I very very rarely wear yellow gold, only one ring that is a family heirloom.
Height: 5'9"
Instruments I play: nadda! I used to sing in choir though
Job title: Legal Assistant
Kids: Zero
Live: The great state of Texas
Mom’s name: Gillian
Nicknames: Tamzin
Overnight hospital stays: many many many.....lots of broken things on me
Pet peeve: cell phone being checked in movie theaters.
Quote from a movie: "there is no spoon"
Right or left handed: Lefty!
Siblings: 1 - slightly older brother
Time you wake up: 6.45, and then every 10 minutes after that until 7.25 when I am officially late to get to work.
Underwear: boy cut shorts. I love them!!
Veg you dislike: okra...its too slimy
What makes you run late: Husband mostly! hahaha
X-rays you have had done: teeth, ankle, wriste, elbo, ribs, spine, neck, lungs, knees, hips. I could pretty much assemble an entire me in skeleton!
Yummy food you make: baked salmon
Zoo Animal, favorite: TIGERS!!!!! and all the rest of the big cats.

Weigh In

This mornings weigh in was same as last week.

287.2lbs. no change.

Tonight is slowpitch with the office!! Very excited! So I'm going to have to run home, change and get back to the fields to play for a couple hours.

Water, Fruit, granola bars. Husband is coming to watch. Will be a nice night out of the house.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Sunday done

Bad weekend for sleeping, but a good weekend for reading. I was really tired today after a poor nights sleep, but I DID get in my 3miles of walking today.

Very pleased about that!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Thursday Run done!

Well, my legs have been hurting but having a buddy to motivate me to get out there is great. Met up at 6.30 for a 30+ run.

Warm up 5min walking.
5min running
1min walking
ended with a shorter walk.

It was hard, but I did it and there is only progress to be made. Sunday we are going to do a 3mile walk with speedy and slower walking intervals. Our "long slow run" of the week, until we build up a bit more.

Also last night did 60 min of some light weights. Throwing shot put and some other fun stuff for the highland games. My shoulder was sore, but I did light and was good and warm when I started.

Last night I slept like a baby. Neck and sholder feel even BETTER today, so that is awesome news.

okay - almost lunch and the boss has a meeting so I have to go and get thiers. Time to "run"! haha

Thursday, March 3, 2011


ahhhh, much better!

Two and half weeks I've been suffering with neck and shoulder pain. I finally broke down and got a recommendation for a Chiropractor, after getting a super massage last week and it only just helping slightly. I couldn't go on without some intervention!

This chiro works on people AND animals. Mostly horses and dogs, so I figured that she must be strong enough for a thick girl like me if she can handle a horse! HAHA

She did an amazing job. Best Doc of Chiro that I've seen. My jaw has been clicking for oh... 10 years from an old rugby collision. Fixed. I can't even tell you how strange it is that my jaw IS aligned now.

I had the best nights sleep last night that I've had in 2 weeks. YAY!!

Running tonight. My legs are hot and sore today. So tonight's run is going to be hard to start, but at the end I know I'm going to feel great.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Running and a Weigh In

Okay, so the good news is that the weigh in was not as bad as I thought that it would be.

This morning I hopped on the scale and it was:


Feb 9th I was up to 289.5, so this is good. I thought that I was well into the 290's again.

Okay, so I'm doing okay and now that I'm adding my water and some movement into my days, then I am set to get some progress.

Last night I went for my first run in gawds now how long. A year? Likely more. This is what we did.

5min walk warm up.
5min jogging
1min walking
repeat 5x's
5min walking to cool down

It was good. We covered about 2.5miles and I can feel it in my legs today. I'm very very pleased. Thursday's run... I'm actually looking forward to it.

okay - back to work here. Its sunny, and I would rather be outside, but I will just have to enjoy lunch in the park.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

the fat came back....

the very next day,
the fat came back,
she thought it was a goner.
But the cat came back;
it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea....

I haven't even dared to step on the scale. I will have to do that soon.

Here are the things that I am doing:

  1. I now have a date with a friend to meet at the park on T/Th for a 30 min jog.
  2. I am back drinking my water. Trying to get back up to 5L a day
  3. I have a thursday night (post run) date to do weights.
  4. I am going to make a commitment to go to one step/cardio class a week at the gym.

I took all last week off and I totally renno'ed the bedroom and master bathroom. New paint, furniture, cleared out a BUNCH of old shit, 5 bags of clothing donations, shoes, bags. You name it. The bedroom looks amazing now. And I had a massive week of exercise. Bending stooping sweeping, rubbing painting. My shoulder and neck are totally locked up now.

My eating has been RUBBISH though, and that is what has packed the weight on. I'm guessing about 10lbs.

Anyway, that is the cliff notes on my last few weeks. Time to get back into blogging and losing. Enough time piddling about feeling sorry for myself and how hard it is to lose weight. Its hard being fat. Time to get out. Spring is here, the sun is out. Make some changes.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Yesterday was a good day for water and given that it was our special night out for dinner, we didn’t do too badly. I’ve been fighting some very bad edema in my feet and ankles, its creeping up into my calves.

Serious damage done in youth that starts to take its toll for sure, plus last week wearing too tight shoes with heels all week pretty much did me in.

On a good note, last night for dinner we had a starter soup each, shared three appies and shared a dessert. I did also have a gin fizz and a half a gin fizz!! We ate slowly and lingered over the good stuff on our plates. When we were done I couldn’t believe how impossibly full we felt. Normally we would have plowed through so much more food!

I’ve not been getting up to do my kettle bell work, and I’ve stopped going for evening walks. Both of these have contributed to the swelling and the lack of being able to crawl my fat arse out of bed. I need a chart…with boxes to check off.

I’m really just circling right now. There are so many things to do and so many tasks that need attention that I’m really just doing nothing. Hinks Law – the more options there are the harder it is to choose.

So I did one good thing. Yesterday I requested a week off work. Monday is a stat, and I’ve taken Tuesday – Friday off. No travel, no activity, no family…. I can do whatever it is that I want and need to do that will make my life better. That is mostly going to be – clean out and re-organize the bedroom. Also – re-paint, and go through all the things that we do not need.

Or… I might not. I might just carve out some space, walk in the park, read and sew and drink coffee and just RELAX. I can’t decide. It’s a real luxury that I can’t think of ever having taken before. I’ve always had holiday with a purpose. “I need time for X or Y”. So this is going to be amazing!!

Tonight – walking
Tomorrow – kettle bells

This is written and so it shall be done!

Friday, February 11, 2011


Yesterday was better by a few degrees then the last couple of weeks and today is going to be better than yesterday.

I'm really pleased that it is Friday, I spent all week at meetings and in heels and my hips and feet are killing me. I need to get some flats bought this weekend so that I don't kill myself again. I also need to stretch more.

Okay - so breakfast was lighter than I wanted - kashi bar and a small banana, 2 cups of coffee w/ creamers. I'm going to find something green to eat for lunch and tonight is cottage cheese w/apple and whole wheat lite waffles for dinner. Going to be a good day!

Getting my water in me. Missed my first liter this morning, so I have some catching up to do.

Saturdays plan:

Walking in the park
Cleaning the clothing closests
Moving furniture
Cleaning/dusting/scrubbing/tossing/sorting/floor washing/window cleaning session

That should be enough to get me old heart pumping for one weekend!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I can do this

I can do this.

Morning Nosh:

1 Fage FF yogurt cup with blueberry
2 coffees with creamers
1L water.

30 minutes to the 11.30 lunch time... I'm not dying, I don't need to get anything between now and then. I'm going to be just fine.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Note to Self

This week and last week have been total shit and this is my notice to myself.

Eating out 2x a day every day is not good. NOT GOOD. I CAN DO BETTER.

Phoenix was great. I'm still just recovering from being sore now. It was a fabulous day, and I learned a lot. Awesomeness!

Food and Water have been terrible. I have been totally and honestly just ignoring all the signs that I'm slipping into old habits. Eating whatever, no tracking, no water, staying in bed until the last possible second.

Weight in this week. 289.5lbs Up again.

Hello in there.... do you like this? do you want this for yourself? No. Then stop being so weak minded.

I can and I will do better for myself. I will.

Thursday, February 3, 2011


Not a whole lot to report.

Last night I did 75 kettle bell swing. YAY ME!! Its harder than it seems.

This is what is happening in TX right now. Baltic by the standards of weather here. Happily, I'm going to spend this weekend in Pheonix... if my flight tomorrow taks off that is.

So will be incomunicado for the weekend. I can't wait.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Had to run down 2 floors at the office this morning to get some papers... on the way down... my pants almost came right off. Seriously... I waited to see if it was going to happen and only intervened when it was imminent!


Also noted... coming back UP 2 flights on the hoof was substantially easier now.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Baby Steps

Up eary this morning and knocked out 50 kettlebell swings!! YES!!

Then had .5L of water and got in the shower. I waiting an extra 30min before heading to work because of the terrible storm this morning here. +50 mile an hour gusts and sheets of rain. I don't need to be out in my car in that.

I'm feeling better today about the world and my weight loss struggles. I lay in bed yesterday thinking, what... what am I going to do? Give up? No. I have to keep on pushing forwards.

I'm still reading The End of Overeating, and there is a large section right now about habits and how rewarding behaviors create deep hard habits to break. So, I'm fighting my brain right now for dominance and frankly, its occasionally winning. BUT, so are the new habits. They are creeping in, diluting slowly the old ones.

Tena, another very awesome Texas blogger gave me an award last night. Comment queen. Now, I'm not that much of a commenter, I'm more of a lurking queen, with phases of commenting. However, I thank you very much for thinking of me Tena, you have been an awesome blog buddy and your support has been invaluable!

Here's how to play:
List 5 goals that you have/had while on your lap band journey (I have not had lapband, but I will expound for my w/l). Comment on each blog you nominate and list your top 3 nominees for the award.

Ahh Goals... my frenemy. I have had so many goals that I have done over the ages. Just recently I listed a bunch of goals that I have not even completed. I have a very sick relationship with goals, that being that no matter how low I set the bar, I seem to be able to squeeze my fat ass under it.

However, in that light here are my current list of goals that I keep in my head.

1. More water. I want to get in at least 4L if not 5+ each day. I've stopped counting so now I have no idea if I am or not.

2. Count calories and stay under my goal weight caloric intake of 2090. I've stopped counting so now I have no idea if I am or not.

3. 75 kettle bell swings on M, W and F. I have done 25 yesterday morning, and 50 this morning. I'm working my way up.

4. get up at 6.30am. I'm going to say this is a pass. I'm away at 6:30 now, and crawling out of bed at 6:45...its getting there. Last night I was awake until 11.30 and then I had to go to sleep - I couldn't manage my usual midnight stay up. Victory will be mine!

5. walk more. I've not done much walking this last week, but I'm going to get back on it. I've been spending time with the doggie, and since he can't go for walks right now, I am wanting to stay with him.

Wow....race for the bottom eh. The good news out of all of this is that, no matter what, I keep trying. I don't count all my calories, but I do count most. I've got a general idea of the water I'm drinking , but I'm not tracking every ounce.

I do need to take more care and attention for myself. This is a long and painful process, as I eliminate the things that I've accustomed to and replace them with new ones. But these 5 goals are the ones that I'm still working on and eventually, I'm going to get there!!

Onwards and downwards y'all (for you Kimberly!)

Monday, January 31, 2011

Rough Water

Making time for what is important requires that I think that it is actually important.

I’m struggling with that. I LIKE to do what is easiest and I enjoy quiet and a homogeneous life in all honesty. Change is a wave that interrupts life, and makes it rocky, unstable and difficult.

I’ve been half heartedly changing in small little bits, but then sailing back into calmer waters to linger before hitting the high seas again. Its not doing me any favors, other than making life more and more difficult.

Getting up early has been a struggle since I don’t like going to bed early. So I’ve effectively made both going to bed AND getting up unpleasant. I did 25 kettle bell swings this morning, I could have done more, but I didn’t get up early enough.

This weekend I was at an all day training event for the throwing events that I do in the summer for highland games. I was beat from it and poor planning coupled with extra people to look after meant that when it was time to head out to our evening party I was hungry, thirsty, and tired. I over ate all KINDS of bad stuff for hours. Ug.

So no surprise when today's weigh in was: 287.0

I’m so full of salt and bloated and on my period. UG.

That being said, I’m not 100% happy with my efforts, however I am the only one here that can make me do anything so I know where the fault lies.

Then I think… I have made changes, they are not as fast as I would like, but there ARE changes. This week has not been great – but that can change. No, that WILL change.

25 more swings tonight, and I’ll be up and at it again in the mornings. More water, better choices for lunches, earlier bed times and earlier mornings. This is what I will do this week.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Busy Bee!

another manic Friday here. I have never worked at a place like this before where every Friday is 2x as crazy as the Monday. Why not winding DOWN the week people??

regardless, I've been at a dead run since 7.45 this morning and just realized that I've not had a single sip of water here yet. This is NOT GOOD.

Getting on top of that right now.

Last nights dinner was great - green apple, 1c low fat cottage cheese and some light whole grain waffles with a little bit of honey. I was just slightly hungry at bed time and that is a good feeling now.

Okay - today is not going to get any less busy, so I better hit it full steam...and now with hydration!


more later

Thursday, January 27, 2011

almost there....

The weekend that is.

I managed to get out of the office kitchen yesterday and I didn't even FEEL like eating until 7pm.

I got my walk in, dry shampooed the dog, and did some laundry. I realized that I'm about 4 days away from my period and that is always a bad time control wise, but more when I don't anticipate it happening.


Constant vigilance. I was listening to the radio this morning and there was a bit about the personality trait that is consistent throughout all people that lose weight and keep it off. They called it "neurotic".

There was a brief discussion about what that characteristic meant. None of it was flattering as you can imagine. "annoying" was one of the words thrown out there. Everything was negative. Needless to say, I want that.

I'm sure I have more to say about this, as that is what is on my mind today, however I have to wade back into the fire here at work.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


i ate some.

Thats it for today.. . no more "you can have some".

Only Water and on plan for the rest of the night. AND I'm going to get a walk in this evening. Damn it.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tuesday blahs

I will tell you this. 75 kettle bell double handed swings on Monday has made hamburger meat of my arse and hamstrings. I’m limping around the office like a hobbled horse. Fun!! Got out at lunch and did a lap around the park to try and loosen off. Tomorrow morning I have to do it again!! Eep!!

Mack (the dog) is adjusting well. He is on a x2 daily steroid to help him with the heartworms. Which he happily takes with peanutbutter!! He was sacked out last night dreaming at my feet - whiskers going and paws twitching. So cute. Husband bought some new brushes and the most amazing invention I’ve ever seen. Doggie wipes. These are pop up doggie wipes for between baths and Mack loves a good rub down. Totally fun and honestly took teh doggie smell off. Since we can't have him too stressed for his heart, I don't know if we can bath him. Should he dislike water.... it could get too hard on him. This is the happy medium, and he loves being brushed so that makes it easy.

Today has been a great day food wise. I’ve not had enough water, but that is because I didn’t have any beside the bed this morning, and only had half my usual on the way to work. So nearly a liter behind right now. Planning on making that up on the ride home and over dinner.

I had an awesome My Fit Foods lunch today – JalapeƱo Steak Salad. Steak, some corn relish and fresh cut jalapeƱos and a really interesting vinaigrette dressing over spinach leaves. Hot. My nose was running. Tonight is salad 2. we are off to get salads at my fav little place, Barnabys. I just finished a diet Dr.Pepper - which is not on the list, but was a last minute replacement for what I really wanted (sweets).

We watched the last of Fringe season 1 last night so tonight – no excuses for not going to bed earlier. I’m exhausted anyway. I had to literally roll off the mattress to get to my feet this morning.

Work is almost done. I can’t wait to get out of here and get the evening started, the sky is blue and its lovely out. Might get to drive home with the windows down a little!

Food today: (totally rocken the protein!)

Monday, January 24, 2011

Food Today:

Not too bad! Almost home time. I can't wait!!

Weekend Update and Weigh In.

Weekend was a biggie. Need to catch up.

Walked – 3mils – not the 5km that I was going to try and get.
Lots of adventuring and cleaning of the house
Food has been off and on. I’m noticing that I’m eating a lot LESS and not as stressed out about the when and where my next meal will be coming from. Good mental progress.


We adopted a doggie!! He is a rescue and this has been in the works for a while. He is a 2yr old Rottweiler Australian Shepherd cross. Really adorable and is currently heartworm positive. So he is undergoing his treatments, which is pretty horrible. A lot like chemo. So he has to be kept quiet and still, not get his heart pumping fast as that can damage it or even kill him. He has a rotti face and a spotted aussie body and a little nub for a tail. He is a very relaxed and chill dog to begin with, so the next two months of restricted activity should be not too hard on him.

He should be all better in about months, then I’ll be able to start taking him for walks (and …gasp… runs in the mornings!) and really enjoying getting out and about with him. So happy!


I’ve been doing a lot of reading and have picked up a couple of books of interest. The End of Overeating. This is a very interesting book on the “hyperpalitable” foods that are created for consumption, but also a significant portion is on the biology in the brain that leads us to overeating them. Nothing that someone who isn’t an overeater doesn’t intuitively know – fast foods and junk foods are created specifically to make you want more.

There were some very interesting experiments about how mice will perform a repetitive task for sugar water to almost the same extent as they will cocaine. Very strong response indeed. I can see in my life and experiences with food and cravings described in this book and I highly recommend it. In fact, I like it so much that when I’m done reading it – I’m going to give it away here to someone else who will pass it forward once they are finished.

The other book I picked up was The 4 hour body, by Tim Ferris. He is a slightly annoying, rich arrogant prick. However, this book has some very interesting fitness and science in it and I dont care how annoying/rich/arrogant someone is . I’ve put into place his most simple workout. 75 double handed kettle bell swings 3x a week in the mornings. Its worth picking up if you have the time and extra cash (at Borders with the $20 membership you get 40% off new hardbacks so it was $25 instead of $45ish).

I’ve committed myself to:

1. Getting up at 6.30 this every day week with plans to move that back to 6am get ups.

2. Dog walking (potty for now - actual walks later when he is able).

3. 75 kettle bell swings on Monday Wednesday and Fridays.

Getting an earlier start is going to make the mornings better. I hate laying in and being late, but I am always bad about getting up. I will tell you all this. I did 3 sets of 25 swings today and my ass is HURTING! So are my arms for that matter! I have a 25lbs bell right now, but I suspect that will be too light in 3 weeks. So I’ll have to go and eyeball a new one. Its almost highland games season anyway, so time to get my butt moving!

Weigh In:

Total wash. 285.4lbs today. However, next monday I'mexpecting som good results. This week I'm going to get strtict with my food again, and really put forth the effort that I desirve to give myself.

Okay – that is my weekend, I'm pretty pleased and now I’m off to perv all over yours! HA!!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Water...is it magic?

How about that... 10.30am. 1.5L of water consumed and... I'm not hungry?

Must be magic!! ;)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Thursday AKA Pure Carb Fallout

well the shit-tasticness of this week was only just ramping up and came to a very nasty head today.

This morning I was at the office an hour earlier than usual to wait around for these out of towners to get here and get the day long meeting started. Then the "organizer" in the most laughable sense of the word didn't do half the things on the list that she was supposed to have done. Fab. now I have to do them ALL RIGHT NOW. bla bla bla the whole day ended up like this.

Needless today that I have been having a massive freak out - didnt' eat anything but carbs from the catering trays and feel sick, tired, used, and angry.

I've had.... 2L of water today. I'm 2L behind and I can feel it.

Another walk tonight. This one will be the whole 3miles+ and I'm going to go to bed early. Friday WILL be better. IT WILL. I am going to make the end of this week SHINE.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Let this day be over

I could basically consume an entire continent of ice cream right now. Why is it that when I’m stressed and angry I want food. DAMN YOU UNIVERSE.

I've already eaten more than I wanted to at the office this afternoon. GD Bagels in the kitchen. GD weak ass attitude on food.

But...I'm not going to spazz out and eat myself sick. I'm going home and going to go walking tonight. Then I'm having my dinner and enjoying an evening of crafting... likely voodoo dolls that I will then stab holes into with excessive vigor and malice.


Water today....I've been too busy to keep track, but I'm in the 150 oz neigborhood.
Food today:

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Tuesday is the new Monday

omg.... this was a very Mondayish kind of day for a Tuesday, and I hope that it doesn't carry over into the rest of the week. ANYWAY... the morning started out really well.

1. I was up AT my alarm. This is a small miracle that you have just witnessed. I have a habit of getting up when I should be leaving, and being about 20min late to work for the last month.

2. Not only was I up at my alarm, but I did 100 crunch, and 100 pushups. If you can call what I was doing a pushup. My the end if was more of a shoulder dip, however, my arms and abs are warm today, so I know they did something.

3. I was at work on time.

Sadly, things took a turn for the worse. Its bee a hellish day at the desk. But, its almost done. So, thats that.

Fluids/Water: currently done 100.5oz of water. its 4.30pm. 100oz is about half what I want to get a day, so today is better than yesterday, but not as good as it could be. I had the lid on the bottle for a while this morning and sadly, that means that I don't sip as much as I should.

Sad, but true.

Walkies: I'm hoping to get one in tonight, but not too sure if I will. We will see. There is actually some blue sky out there, might have to try and take advantage of it.

Food today: Not too bad. I'm pleased. I didn't have the second coffee of the day, but I'm leaving it in there since I'm too lazy to change it! :)

Home soon, and then my firends...its blog perving time. I can't wait!!!!! I'm so out of the loop!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Weigh in day!

omg. I'm so far behind. I'll have to give a quick catch up and then its on with the new week.

Weigh in: 285.4lbs
Down .6lbs

This last week has been a complete shit show of off and on again tracking, not managing my water and full on careless eating.

I was well over my 1950 calories on most days. I have been eating out and not bothering to really count what is going in. Happily, I've been walking and getting in "most" of my water. I know there are good and bad times, but this was not fun.

Being careless with my weight is a slippery slope that can easily pull me down into a deep pit. I'm NOT going to let that happen. Constant vigilance.

So there - Tamzin - you had a bad week. You ate garbage and shit. Did you like it. No, you did not. So, get on top of pre planning and stop the last minute "starving" eating and poor choices. My husband is to be congratulated though - he stopped me from eating fast food this weekend three time. That was really a help.

Right. Today is a day off for me. I'm heading out to the park to go walking.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Well behind the 8ball

omg...so far behind. I have my calorie tracking done - yesterday was.. shitty. Will have to put that up for the cold light of day to shine on soon. Likely this evening.

Today is good. Its friday and I have Monday off for MLK. I'm excited for a three day weekend and that means one thing. LOTS of walking in the mornings!

I will catch up here later.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Hump day...nearly done.

Today has been a struggle. Not that it has been a particularly difficult day work wise, but I'm having trouble getting in the grove. I need to get more sleep. A huge issue for me. Last night was an earlier night, and I fell asleep easily, which is a big concern for me. I don't like to lay awake in the dark.

So, lunch today I went to starbucks and got a skim milk latte with a pump of mocha and a zucchini walnut muffin.

I get back here and look it up for my spreadsheet and ....OMFG.... 490 calories for a F*CKING MUFFIN. wow. You know what. I'm not going to be doing THAT anymore. My "fat"brain was all...

"zucchini are vegetables... they are gooooood for you...... dooo itttttt" and I thought, yeah, I have salmon and couscous for lunch... I can do this.


Dinner tonight is a giant vegetarian Petaluma salad at Barnaby's. Good gawds. I didn't enjoy the damn muffin that much. 450 calories. Fug...it must have been made with pure butter. That is about the highest calorie thing on there. I didn't even LIKE it that much. *growly face*

Not only that, but my water has been LOW LOW LOW today. and I'm all bunged up in the pipes department. I had a small unpleasant poop this afternoon in the ladies loo here and usually I'm a more regular type girl. Especially with having chili yesterday... where are all the beans? !!! ??? It makes me a little bit scared. No wonder my belly is sore and I've been uncomfortable all day.

So... I'm pounding the water for the rest of today and getting myself back on schedule!!

Food today is:

Arctic blast!!

Evey time I hear that on the news it makes me think of a new flavor of gum or toothpaste.... Arctic blast...so delicious and cool. It will take your breath away.

Yes.. the arctic blast has even managed to worm is way all the way to Houston. This morning I wore my scarf, mittens and FLIPFLOPS! hahahaha I love flip flops. I have to wear dress shoes all day so... efff it. In the car, its flip flops all the way! Thats why cars have heaters!

I am lagging today... Wednesday... bleck. I'm going to need a coffee injection here in a little bit. So here is yesterdays review since I was too lazy to log on again last night.

Walk: 3.5miles (it was awesome out!! nice and chilly!!!)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


I was dressed and getting ready to leave the house this morning when the husband said to me: "are those new pants?"

Me: "No honey, they aren't. They just fit better now"

Happy Days!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Monday Weigh in

Alright...straight to business, even though I have yesterdays catching up. My non tracking for 5 days caught up with me.

Monday Weigh in:


Down .4lbs

However, I am back on track with my calorie counting and my water tracking and that is going to make a huge difference this week. I'm already excited.

Sunday was nice - chilly and we walked with long sleeves and long pants and I even got to wear my 2010 Olympic mittens!! I don't get much weather down this way to warrant that!

Tonight I'm going to do a little 30min walk minimum and I need to get a plan together to get some regular morning exercise in. I have some yoga tapes, and a gym membership. Now all I need to do is get to using them!!

I did some much needed emotional and mental work last night - I tried on a bunch of clothing that I bought last year that ... never fit. And now... it all does. In fact, there are three dresses that I had bought that I can wear all three of now. I'm ever so Pleased! I also bought a pair of 18/20 dress pants - they are a little stretchy (and not really formal - but good enough for a quiet day at the office once a week or so). YAY!!! moving on down from my 24's!

This week is going to be a focus on calorie counting - my water back up of 200oz a day, getting in a few good hard walks and then.... sleeeeeeeep. Last night I wasn't asleep until 12.45am. Not good. Must put the book down and go to sllllllleeeeeeeep.

okay - can't wait to get home and perv on some blogs.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Tracking Walking and Weekending!

Ahhhhhh! Today has just been totally awesome.

Woke up at 8am and got the husband up and out to go walking. We did a 3.5mile loop. I'm going to have to try and find a new bit that we can double back on to make it longer. The great thing today was we noticed how much easier it was to complete it. Small steps adding up there.

We went out for "brunch" at 12.30 and just finished out dinner at 6.30. My goat cheese cracker snack is done. I might have an apple later. Or some strawberries as today has been crab/protein heavy and light on veg. However I had a giant salad last night FULL of greenz!! So I'm not too worries.. the pipes have been moving all day! hehehehe

The weather here is supposed to take a turn of the worse tomorrow so I have my rain jacket and pants ready to get out fast and hard in the morning to make the most of whatever weather we get.

I'm back tracking. And... it feels good. Here is today:

Friday, January 7, 2011

Tracking Calories

Oh my it is beautiful outside. I took a short drive and spent most of my lunch hour at the park today. Just wandering in the sunshine and catching up with a couple of Canuck friends on the phone.

I was going to get a coffee at Starbucks, but there was not a single spot to park so I left and had my water and enjoyed myself without the coffee! :)

Back at the office with arse in chair. Today has been crazy busy - deadlines...why why why can the stuff only get done ON the day and not in the weeks before when I sent all this crap out? Its Friday people... lets try and enjoy ourselves instead of making it so hellish.

Mostly over now anyway. Tonight we are headed out for dinner to one of my favorite salad places. I can't wait! They are huge and Delicious. Tomorrow morning I have a big walk planned. Nearing 4 miles this time I think. The weather is going to cool off a little for the weekend, which I like.

Food is going good today. My tracking on my spreadsheet is going okay - I am just so busy recovering from the holidays....

wait ......

that is a big FAT F*CKING LIE!!! I'm feeling comfortable and not bothering to track as much. Right. That has been identified properly now. And I shall be doing my updating asap!! This is not the time to fall off and forget how I got to here. Here being the place where I am losing weight and enjoying life... not getting fatter again. DANGER DANGER!! My alarm has been triggered!!

Back...to tracking!! I'm behind on water today as well. Ah ha!... this is the Friday of self analysis!

Alright. Weekend...here I come. I can't wait to get out in the fresh air!!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Walking Onwards

I enjoyed my walk very much last night, however when I got home, I really didn't want to go.

I forced myself to get changed into my walking clothes.... sat around... put on my runners..... sat around....fiddled with this and that.... sat around....

Finally I just had to stand up and tell myself to stop stalling and get moving. It worked and in 10 minutes I was out in the night air enjoying the park with oh...about 300 other people out there making changes in their life for the better. All shapes sizes and speeds. Its a nice feeling and by the end of it - I really felt great physically for having gotten out and moved around.

I stopped at the Kroger on the way home and had a MAJOR NSV. Being alone in the grocery store at night after working out is a huge trigger for me to buy junk. In fact, going to get "a couple of things" at the grocery store is a bad one for me in general. If I'm doing a huge shop with a list I'm okay, but that quick nip in and out of the store has always been "Treat time for Tamzin". The hand is faster than the brain... and I would be leaving with a snickers bar or something else... M&M's etc. Always consumed in the vehicle, quickly, guiltily and then the remains hidden in the trash.

Last night, I thought about it... my old brain said - late night store visit = treat. I wrestled with myself a little and then said. No. I won't. I got in, got my stuff. Got out. I'm happier and stronger for it. This morning I weighed in... 284.8.

Onwards... and downwards!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Tonights Plan

Another office day has crept by. I can't believe its almost over, this afternoon has been Loooooong.

The husband is not feeling well, so as soon as I get home, I'm changing and heading out to do my big walk. 3.5miles I'm feeling today!

Dinner is a My Fit Foods breakfast fav - steak, egg whites and spicy potato. We have a couple episodes of Fringe to catch up on this evening and that is that.

This week is going well. I'm staying in my 1850 calorie range. Some of my choices are not the best, but today was better than yesterday and tomorrow is going to be better than today.

The time off has totally messed up my sleep schedule. Last night I finally feel asleep before 1am, I'm still waking up late and tired as all hell. But that shall soon change. I'm going to work back into my morning fitness routine. I like to relax in the evenings... the only way to do that is to get active in the morning! I can do it!!

right - home time. Walk ... here I come!

Honest Award

Being honest is easier when it’s anonymous. I would never be able to speak so freely if I knew that there was someone from my "real life" reading this.

I really like to try and be as honest as I can on here. When I come back here to re-read this I want to REALLY KNOW what it was that I was feeling, and doing. I will totally admit that reading back is occasionally difficult, embarrassing and hilarious. Which tells me that I am often on the right track.

So thank you to Sheilah/Mensa at I'm on my way for the Honest Scrap Award., and for commenting and leading me to your blog so that I have someone else to perv on!! She did a list of 10 honest things about herself... I'm going to do the same!

  1. I am afraid of spiders, ghosts, and most crawling insects. I crashed my car when I was 21 because there was a spider on the sunroof next to my head.

  2. I have broken my nose 5 times…its crooked now and I’m totally self conscious about it.

  3. I wish weight loss were easy and not such a struggle.

  4. I’m a lefty, and I love being that little bit different!

  5. I was once a medical test subject for an apatite suppressant in the UK.

  6. While there, I learned that my over eating has nothing to do with physical hunger.

  7. I avoid conversations regarding politics and religion, which is made easier by the fact that I am a Canadian living in the US and will never get to vote!

  8. I have never voted before in my life!

  9. I have size 11 feet. I’m hoping that when I am down to my goal weight, they will go back to a 10.5 or 10.

  10. I should be working right now! HA!!

Back to it now!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Brand New Year!!!

....just out of the box...all shiny and pretty!!

I just finished the last of my long blissful days off. I had my Mother in town visiting from the great white north. First time down here since I moved about a year and a bit ago. We went out for many a dinner did lots of walking around and really enjoyed the time. It was a great second holiday for me after the time off at Christmas.

I missed my Monday weight in – well not really. I weighed in – I just missed the posting of it. Which I will do now. However, in my defense I was out enjoying the sunshine walking in the park on Monday and a well deserved break from the internet!

January 3, 2011 - Weigh in: 286.4lbs

That is up .6lbs from last week.

The trend that I have had of the “UP-DOWN” has been getting smaller and smaller. Which pleases me a lot. I’m going to work on constant and continued losses from here out.

This week is the conclusion to my involvement in Allan’s Challenges. I am not moving into phase 4 as the 1200 calorie diet is not for me. However, what I have done and learned through his previous 3 challenges have actually changed my life. I am now thirsty for water. I am constantly thinking about the better options for food. I have reduced my snacking, I count my calories and I’m focusing on GOOD for me food. I’m not on the 1800 calories is 1800 calories even if its 1800 of twinkies a day.

I am happily surprised to make the top 10 of Allan’s weight loss peeps. It is a big achievement for me. I keep forgetting HOW HARD I have struggled to lose 14lbs before. Read here... YEARS of struggle. This time it came off with really just simple planning and maintenance of said plans. Here is my awesome-sauce of a button!

I’m looking forward to this year. Today I am at the office in my smaller pants, this morning I expected to struggle to get them done up. It wasn’t. They just slid right on and buttoned up – no fighting. I can even feel that my dress shoes are fitting better. My feet are less swollen and my circulation is better. I’ve added in more walking and this summer I’m looking forward to my Highland games competitions. I am going to enjoy shorts and tank tops. I'm going to look and feel better. Its very exciting to KNOW for sure that these things will happen.

I have yet to make any goals – other than the penultimate 190lbs goal. I have some special dates that are arriving this summer, so I need to get on top of that – the goal making that is. I’ve been flying a little too free this last couple of week with my food tracking and food planning. This week I’m getting back on top of it.

I for 2011 my main thought is this. I am my own worst enemy. This was clear over these three challenges. I fight, kick, whine, cheat and bargain. However, KNOWING is half the battle. So that is my goal for 2011. Make peace with myself and get me on track with what is good for me.

Right, regularly schedule posting is resuming now! I am SO excited for the rest of 2011 and all the blogs and people that I perv on. This is going to be a great year for Fighting Fat!