I spent today typing up the start to three or four epic posts. It was a busy day at the office so I never fully got through a single one of them. But I did note the theme that ran throughout them all.
All I talked about was failure. It had other names of course, like difficult and hard, mostly followed by the word choice.
My hubby and I are going on a mini holiday - extended weekend starting Thursday. I wasn't even look forward to it because I'm so afraid of the bad choices that I "know" I'm going to make already....
In pondering, I decided that saying those things are like already allowing me to make the bad choices before I even given myself a chance to make the right choice....right?
Right! That's some weak-ass shit.
Today was a day of wants, I wanted more mocha lattes, I wanted muffins, I wanted ice cream, I wanted to roll around in sugar like a chicken leg in breadcrumbs. However...... I didn't.
I had my mocha in the morning, at lunch I got a call last minute from a friend in town to go to a lunch date - we met in the food court and I ate my good lunch. I also go the 'hairy eyeball' about it but I didn't bother to explain it to them. When I pullled out my container of strawberry the eye turned green! HA
I know that this coming long weekend is going to be harder then my normal routine....I'll have free access to all the food I can eat, and I'll also be doing indulgent things with the people that I love and enjoying them and their company and the food that comes along with it.
BUT....I am going to enjoy myself and I'm going to do it with moderation. I know that I will not eat as well as I normally do, but, I am not going to take this as a free-for-all four day feeding frenzy. I'm also not going to let one "slip" ruin the rest of my eating and send me into a spiralling heap of depressive eating.
That being said, I'm going to seek the lighter, healthier and most colourful options at every meal where I find myself challenged. We'll be getting good sausages from the butchers, but having home cooked omelets, I'll be getting the steak, but not the garlic bread. :)
I stepped on the scale when I got home tonight... still read 272. I was a little surprised to say the least, but also... empowered. There is still a way that I can have a regular life AND manage my food.