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Thank you for stopping by to perv on my blog, as I fight myself to change my old habits and make new ones to get fit. I don't get it right all the time, but I'm still here and I'm still working at it.

Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!

My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.





Thursday, December 16, 2010

onward..

Today has shown some better success than yesterday. Which was a total clusterfuck.

Today I got to work, pounded out 4 hours of work in 2, then off to volunteer! Which was great. Its a fabulous mental break to think about people that have bigger struggles that myself.

We "built" bikes (read here attached the seats, handlebars, peddles and front tire), assembled helmets and enjoyed the company of coworkers and staff while volunteering our time to get a small part of the some 6,000 bikes needed out to kids that need them in our community.

That was a great time, I'm so glad that my company has such great allowance for community programs.

I had a protein bomb breakfast, however we were not off from volunteering until 1pm. I was already hungry and we were going to stop and get lunch, but one of the people in the car needed to get back. So we all had to go. I didn't get lunch until 1.45pm. I had a cup of shrimp gumbo and shared a small shoestring fries with a coworker.

Back into the office...treatmania was in full swing. There were 4 smoked turkeys that had arrived for our department heads, so they raffled them off (I didn't win). I launched into full meltdown food mode again.

Yep... again.I know.

I had 2 peppermint chocolate cookies, 1 macaroon, one truffle, and a half a cup of caramel popcorn. Another 600 calorie treat binge. I managed to keep today under 1900 calories, but my food choices SUCK.

I was disgusted after... and felt sick. Sick to my stomach. Sick in my head. Why won't I learn?

Dinner tonight was amended. I still feel sick from all the sugar. I went out and got some low fat cottage cheese and cut up a Christmas pear. It was simple, easy and delicious. I would have LOVED to have eaten this... instead of what I did this afternoon.

Once again, I am untrustworthy around these things. Tomorrow I am going to go ahead and move the shit to anther location. I wish that I had the power to just say NO and then follow through on my promise to myself.

Happily, the volunteer work had me sweating up a storm, and walking all over. My feet are hurting. I'm tired and going to get a good nights sleep in for sure.

Of course, I'm miserable right now and.... great.... just had a lovely shout at the husband. f*ck.

:( I hate this part of hating myself... taking it out on him. Must make amends.

Food today:


2 comments:

Kimberly said...

Hunger is a bitch when not planned for. Stick some string cheese in your pocket when you aren't going to be able to eat for a while. That way you will be able to kill the hunger until you can eat a real meal.

Personally I think you should kick the ass of every person that had anything to do with sticking that shit right next to you. If people can't get that you are trying to make smart choices and get healthier then beat them over the head with it. You are worth it.

Vegan Chick Pea said...

My dear, is there other food in the office that you can eat instead? Bring some portion-controlled stuff and keep it in your desk for times like these.