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Thank you for stopping by to perv on my blog, as I fight myself to change my old habits and make new ones to get fit. I don't get it right all the time, but I'm still here and I'm still working at it.

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My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.





Saturday, February 28, 2009

Epic Fail February

I'm still a little sick, but I'm through the worst thank goodness. This has been one hellish week for sure. Nothing like not being sick for a long time to make you forget just how uncomfortable it is. The Dr gave me a steroid nasal spray... so I'm all 'roided out! RAWR!!!

February has been a total fail blow out for me. This month was just one excuse after another: Poor eating - check, Less exercise - check, Not enough water - check, Not enough sleep - check, Bad shopping habits - check, Too big portions - check, Bad weather keeping me from getting outside - check, Not going to the gym - check, Few packed lunches - check, Treats at the office - check, treats with my coffee - check.

I started my running class, but it seems that this gave me full license to eat whatever and however much I wanted...right? My choices have been poor to appalling. My exercise has been minimal and easy - not a lot of sweating going on. I've not been tracking much - not how much water - not how much food and its been bad foods by the handful whenever the mood strikes.

And here I am.... 4 weeks of weight gain and honestly....looking down the barrel at a 5th. Oh gawd. This really begs the question... WHY?

Why is it so hard for me to stop eating when I'm full. Why is it more desirable to eat junk then to eat healthy foods. Why is it so hard to choose the right things to do when it comes to food. I don't have a problem identifying the right things to choose when it comes to morality, love, friendship. But food... ice cream or grapes. Ice cream if its an option even though I hate myself after.

It all boils down to that one little word.

CHOOSE [chooz]
–verb (used with object)
1. to select from a number of possibilities; pick by preference: She chose Sunday for her departure.
2.to prefer or decide (to do something): He chose to run for election.
3.to want; desire.
–verb (used without object)
4.to make a choice: He chose carefully.
5.to be inclined: You may stay here, if you choose.


Synonyms: Choose, Select, Prefer - indicate a decision that one or more possibilities are to be regarded more highly than others. Choose suggests a decision on one of a number of possibilities because of its apparent superiority: to choose a course of action. Select suggests a choice made for fitness: to select the proper golf club. Prefer, also formal, emphasizes the desire or liking for one thing more than for another or others: to prefer coffee to tea.

The freedom of choice. Its so easy, so simple. Its right there every time I move food from hand to mouth. From shelf to cart, pull out the wallet, order my coffee. Its craziness that this is so f**king hard. WHY?

March is coming and I need to choose to do things better. I need a new plan.

10 comments:

skinnyfitkate said...

You've only failed if you've given up. Draw a line under February and make it happen in March. Spring is almost here! xx

Nerd Girl said...

You said if you are given the option between grapes and icecream, you will choose ice cream. Well don't let there be an option! Make your goal to be ONLY to eat foods that reside in your home. Make rules for yourself. If there is no ice cream there, you can't go out and buy it. It is something that takes some getting used to, but I have found that the less options I have, the easier it is to stick to eating healthfully. If I have many options, i end up eating all of them, the grapes AND the ice cream. Put February in the past and look forward to March. You can do this!!

CJ said...

You know I agree with skinnyfitkate, as long as you don't give up, you haven't failed. I understand how feeling awful for far too long makes everything go down the drain. I am on that same road!

Keep trying. Never give up. That's what I am trying to do. Good luck.

Helen's Journey said...

I hear you girl. Feb had been crap for me too, I am determind to make March the start of something good.

Mel said...

love all the above comments...

Ya can't change the past.. focus on making March work for you and be better.. don't let youself be in situations where you can fail.

Don't give up... and don't worry about the past..it happened.. you know why it happened.. so chose different for March!

d.fine09 said...

I have to admit that I am fully aware that I reach for the junk over all those healthy options. I think I am just learning to reach for the junk less often and when I do, I take just one serving and move on, making sure that I am still taking in a reasonable amount of calories for the day.

Katie said...

I agree with getting rid of the options. My fave is ice cream....but it's a trigger food for me. Once I touch it...all is lost, giving myself license to eat everything else,too. I'm an enabler...to me!
Get rid of the junk..period. I filled the cookie jar with healthy snacks in exact portion sizes...and now call it the snack jar instead of dedicating it to cookies.
I take raw almonds with me in a baggie in my purse...everywhere-in case I get the munchies. When I smell the grill of a restaurant, I quickly pop in a few before I talk myself into why I should go in. :)

This is NOT an easy journey, in any way. Breaking old habits and coming up with new ones is hard...really, really hard.
We can do it, though! I'm rootin' for ya! (even when you don't feel like it yourself) :)

1LB to the Goal said...

You've identified what went wrong; just having that self-awareness is such a powerful tool. The true test of character is how you handle a set back - and I know you will rebound.

Don't give up!!

Kimberly said...

February sucked. You screwed up. Okay, guess what? It is March now. You have a brand new start.

One day at a time is not just for the anonymous programs. It is how I am doing this incredibly hard thing. And so can you! :hugs:

Angie (Losing It and Loving It) said...

Kate said it best. We have to just keep going and not quit. I know you can do it. What is one change you'll focus on making happen in March. Don't try too much at once this time.

I am personally going to only have a real dessert (ice cream, brownie, jello, etc.) no more than 3x a week. All other days will either be a piece of gum, tea or a piece of fruit/yogurt. I usually eat dessert every night so it's something I have to change.

Best to you in March! Make it happen.