I'm still a little sick, but I'm through the worst thank goodness. This has been one hellish week for sure. Nothing like not being sick for a long time to make you forget just how uncomfortable it is. The Dr gave me a steroid nasal spray... so I'm all 'roided out! RAWR!!!
February has been a total fail blow out for me. This month was just one excuse after another: Poor eating - check, Less exercise - check, Not enough water - check, Not enough sleep - check, Bad shopping habits - check, Too big portions - check, Bad weather keeping me from getting outside - check, Not going to the gym - check, Few packed lunches - check, Treats at the office - check, treats with my coffee - check.
I started my running class, but it seems that this gave me full license to eat whatever and however much I wanted...right? My choices have been poor to appalling. My exercise has been minimal and easy - not a lot of sweating going on. I've not been tracking much - not how much water - not how much food and its been bad foods by the handful whenever the mood strikes.
And here I am.... 4 weeks of weight gain and honestly....looking down the barrel at a 5th. Oh gawd. This really begs the question... WHY?
Why is it so hard for me to stop eating when I'm full. Why is it more desirable to eat junk then to eat healthy foods. Why is it so hard to choose the right things to do when it comes to food. I don't have a problem identifying the right things to choose when it comes to morality, love, friendship. But food... ice cream or grapes. Ice cream if its an option even though I hate myself after.
It all boils down to that one little word.
–verb (used with object)
1. to select from a number of possibilities; pick by preference: She chose Sunday for her departure.
2.to prefer or decide (to do something): He chose to run for election.
3.to want; desire.
–verb (used without object)
4.to make a choice: He chose carefully.
5.to be inclined: You may stay here, if you choose.
Synonyms: Choose, Select, Prefer - indicate a decision that one or more possibilities are to be regarded more highly than others. Choose suggests a decision on one of a number of possibilities because of its apparent superiority: to choose a course of action. Select suggests a choice made for fitness: to select the proper golf club. Prefer, also formal, emphasizes the desire or liking for one thing more than for another or others: to prefer coffee to tea.
The freedom of choice. Its so easy, so simple. Its right there every time I move food from hand to mouth. From shelf to cart, pull out the wallet, order my coffee. Its craziness that this is so f**king hard. WHY?
March is coming and I need to choose to do things better. I need a new plan.