oops! late one

today's brief breakdown:

6.35am
bfast: lrg banana & power crunch protein bar
7.30am
dental appointment (ug)
9.00am
at desk
10.30am
Snack1: coffee w/ cream & lrg blueberry bran muffin
12.30
Lunch:
2 pita breads, 1 whole tomato, 1T mustard, 2 triangles laughing cow cheese, mixed greens, 6oz turkey breast.
1 cup jackfruit pudding
4.00pm
Snack2:
6lite rye crackers, 1T butter, 1 small tin tuna
5.00pm
walked home 1km
5.30pm
Dinner:
1.5c bubble&squeak, 1/2 chicken breast, 1c baby bok choy
7.oopm
Running - 10x 1min jog, 2min walking. total 3km
8.15pm
Snack3:
1c whole oats, 1T protein powder, 2T flax seeds, 2T honey, 1/4c walnuts

Water has been good - approx 2.5L today. Likely not enough food today...I'm hungry right now, but I'm going to live! lol

thats all. Bed time! I'll have to perv on blogs more tomorrow.

5 outa 10 today

I'm going to give today 5 stars out of 10.

Work was crap, umm more like extreme crap. But it is "work", they DO have to pay me to be there soooo there are going to be times that I'm not as jazzed about being there all the time.

Regardless my eating was better then yesterday - but I was so busy that I didn't get a chance to log my food and track my calories and I would have been very curious. I shall attempt to reconstruct it here ... memory is slightly foggy....

bfast:
pot of yogurt that expired on Feb 3.... it was still good (I think.hope) - 100c
1/4c Good for your mango granola - 100c
coffee with cream x2 - 75c

Lunch:
2 pita bread sammiches with the following split between them - 250c
6oz turkey breast (deli style) - 140c
2T mustard - 5c
2c mixed greens - 25c
2 lite Laughing Cow cheeses - 45c
1/2 can diet coke - 1c
1 pot pineapple custard (from the Asian market) kind of strange - but yummy - 74c
Snack1:
Large half sweet skim milk mocha with whip - 275c
Dinner:
2c autumn squash mix soup - 400c
4 v.small slices rye bread (end bits) - 120c
1T becel - 30c
3oz mozzarella cheese - 100c
3 med dill pickles - 65c

So around 1850 calories (I'm guess at some of these numbers but it should all round its self out).

I feel good even though I was sooo hungry when I got home that I scarfed my food and even ended up drinking the soup out of the bowl because the spoon was too slow. HA!! No piccies today for that reason. teehee

Water: 2.5L today so far. Getting better, but my one calf muscle has been sore and crampy so I know that I have to get more water ASAP!

Exercise: 468 stairs...I haven't done those in a while!! Then power walked home 5km! woot!

So I'm a little sore and tired in the legs today - I do need to get some more sleep and more water. That will help with my mood and my stiffness.

Tomorrow is another running night and... I'm looking forward to jiggling my butt around!

Back in the groove!

My little holiday passed in an eye blink and here I am back in working land and hating life! Today was a nightmare and it made me wonder why the hell I even went away on holidays if this is what its going to be like on return! It really should be called a work deferral program and not a holiday. I had to do 3 hours of overtime to get ahead to go away and now I'm staring down the barrel of another 5hours to attempt to get caught up.

Anyhoooo. that's the glass half empty review. The great news is that I had a wonderful rest, got to sleep in, relax and enjoy myself totally. *wink wink nudge nudge* know what I mean! Regardless of my weight... one mans "side show" is another mans "Disneyland"! HAHA!

We actually ate pretty darn well. We made our own breakfasts, did some deli style shopping for rich savory foods and enjoyed them in smaller quantities. Had at least 2 home made meals a day and snacked pretty good.

Dim Sum - the "exotic" stuff like coriander & lime squid, mushrooms wraped in tofu, Chinese broccoli with oyster sauce....NO dumplings! Okay... red bean buns for afters! I do love me red bean paste!

Stilton and peppered duck breast salad - home made with fresh greens, and some great cheese and duck from the fine cheese shop. It was lovely - avocado, duck, walnuts, Stilton and apple on greens with oil&vinegar dressing. LURVLEY

Oat pancakes with honey and strawberries - oatmeal, BP2, flax seeds, little bit o flour, eggs whites, almond milk mixed up and straight into the non stick pan. A bit of local honey on top with some fresh strawberries cut on the side. Beautiful.

ButterNutSquash mac&cheese - movie night and comfort food. We even made a special little pot of it with some Stilton in, and a salad of greens and tomato with a green mustard vinaigrette. Total indulgence without a million calories.

I had too many coffee&creams out, I had tim-bits and movie theater popcorn (I KNOW its sooo bad for you, but its sooo damn good), we had sticky buns and noodles too and even a couple of meals with a dessert after. But we split the treats/desserts and I enjoyed it more. I made more thoughtful choices and the hubby was really supportive of eating our own foods and not always requesting the "bad" foods. I bought a small baggies of little candy covered chocolate eggs (yay Easter!) and we split it. It actually struck me as strange since I hadn't bought a store chocolate like that in ...well.... months!

I didn't do great on water - I'm suffering for it now still. We tried, but its harder to think about it when you are not sitting next to a big glass of water all day. But, such is life.

So...now for the numbers. I didn't do my inches and .... I'm not going to (LAZY!....SCARED!!) but I did weight in this morning at 272.2lbs.

That's a .2lbs gain over my holiday. WOOHOOO!!!

I'm really pretty pleased. :) Anyway - tomorrow is a running night and I'll tell ya about my running course when I get in tomorrow.

now....to perv on all the people!!!

Inches and Such

Well today was good and bad and all things in between rolled together. I'm tired and confused and upset I guess. I managed to resist everything bad for me at the office - even with a moment of weakness... looking at the cookie that I had taken...I put it back when I asked myself if I REALLY wanted it.

I walked home 5km, but I was too hungry and on the way home, I should have had another snack in the afternoon to help, I started having all kinds of crazy food lust - you name it - I wanted to put it in my gob! It was all that I could do to not stop and get something really terrible, but I was already contemplating what to binge on... I knew it was not going to be good.

I ended up stopping and getting a can of beans in tomato sauce, I wandered around in the little corner store - I purposely went to the cash only one - and all I had was $2.50 on me... limited me pretty well. I drooled over crackers and thought about coming back with more money so I could eat them. So terrible. I ended up with a can of beans for my ultimate english comfort food - eggs beans and toast.

I'm over tired, over hungry, stressed out and ended up at the fridge with the can of whip cream stuck in my mouth. Three big mouthfuls and then I put about 1/3 of a cup of it in one of the pumpkin custards and then ate that too.

I know that this behavior more tiring and stressful, its a terrible cycle. It feels disgusting, but what is worse.. is this. I was saving that whip cream in there... because I KNEW that eventually I was going to do that. Now I have to get up tomorrow and weight-in, and get back on this damn bucking horse and try to get my balance again.

The Nitty Gritty - Weight: 275lbs Inches: 324.1
Neck - 16, Bust - 47.5, Ribs - 42, Waist - 48, Hips - 52, L Bicep - 14.6, R Bicep - 14.5, L Thigh - 28, R Thigh -25.9, L Calf - 18.5, R Calf - 18.1.

Weight is up 1.8lbs, but Inches are down by 0.4.

Bfast:
1c Almond Milk
2T protein powder
coffee with cream
1/3c 1% cottage cheese
1med banana
Snack1:
1med mocha skim milk latte
orange
Lunch:
3/4c meat lasagna
1c BNS mac&cheese
1c mixed veg
3 hearty rye crackers
1 pat butter
Snack2:
1c strawberries
1/3c Activia yogurt
Snack3:
Orange
Dinner:
1 can beans in tomato sauce
2 poached eggs
2 pitas
2T becel
3 big mouthfuls whip cream
1/3c whip cream
1/3c pumpkin custard

Water: 2.6L...not good enough.

ug...time for bed. I need to sleep on this Mind-f*ck that I've done to myself today. I know that it will be better tomorrow and on my way to bed, I'm heading to the kitchen to throw away the rest of the whip cream.

Smattering of things from my Saturday

Slept in, bfast was late....11.30ish

1/2c 1% cottage cheese, lrg orange, 3 kashi bars (eaten over 2 hours....but still.... brutal. However that was the last of them and with that kind of management I won't be getting them again since I clearly can't have just one), 1c almond breeze with 2T protein powder

Walk - sunny out YAY! and today I was happily carrying my camera. Since I have enjoyed looking at the walk pics that Spunkysuzi posts I thought to bring it along. Now, to perpetuate the myth that in Canada there is a moose in every garage and a beaver in ever creek... VIOLA! The beavers!

Can you see them down there? Difficult little buggers to get a pic of.

Post walk - went to my fav little luncheon spot and had a veggie rye sammich, with a chai latte and a peanut butter cookie. I thought to only eat half the cookie. In fact - I normally would have eaten the cookie first, but today I waited. I ate it last, but even though the first half was good - I finished it. I need to develop a new habit to be able to wrap it up to go for later. Then when I've stopped eating - I can find the strength to toss it. At the table, I can not let food go to waste (yet).

Anyway - got home and then spent 20min shoveling the walk clear of all the extra snow that been pushed around. So a good solid day for exercise.

BAD day for water.... weekends are so hard for me ... I don't know why. I've had less then 2L today and its bedtime. Ug. I have a headache... I wonder why?? bad me.

Dinner was at the friends house. I ate an orange before I went. I knew it was going to be bad... I was charged with the task of bringing dessert. Now.... for those of you that have read my earlier rant, this is at the friend who eats quite fatty high calorie low nutritional value foods. I called her today to go walking, but no. she wanted a 4 hour nap instead. *sigh* Anyway, asks me to pick up dessert.... I ask what she fancies... Chocolate and custard something. *rolls eyes* I know that I will NOT be able to resist, AND I'm going to eat whatever she is cooking. This is going to go very badly for me.

Dinner was: 1 large pork chop in mushroom soup, cauliflower with cheese (I picked the bits with the least amount of cheese on them... FUNNILY, my first action was to get as much cheese on my spoon as possible... but I put that bit back and re-scooped) and white potatoes. I was going to take more, then decided that I would have what I'd taken and IF, and that is a big if, I needed more I can go and get some.

Anyway, not a great finish to my Saturday night.... because.....this is what I brought for dessert:

Chocolate silk cake - not a great option, BUT it was the perfect size (read her NOT BIG) to cut up into 4 and be done with it - no extra lingering around - I can have my piece and that's all. We had that and settled into a movie, she brought out the bloody jujubes again. I had 8. Then decided that was all.

So all in all I give myself:
2/10 for water
6/10 for eating
8/10 for exercise

sleep...well I'm going to get some of that... Right NOW.

From Wallowing to Basking & a WI

Thank you to all who commented today. Everyone was totally right, and I guess, sometime you just need to hear it a couple of times to remind yourself that things are not the deep hole that you think they are.

I thank you, and all the people who posted on their blogs today as well. I love reading them, they really help put life and weight into perspective. So I've gone from wallowing in my own pity to basking in the knowledge that today was a new day and yesterdays mistakes don't have to be made today.

So - now for the nitty-gritty. weight is up 0.6lbs, but I'm down 1.3inches.

Stats:
Pounds - 276
Inches - 324.5

Neck -16.1, Bust - 47.2, Ribcage - 42, Waist - 48, Hips - 52.8, Thigh (L) - 27, Thigh (R) - 26.1, Calf (L) - 18.8, Calf (R) - 18.1, Bicep (L) - 14.2, Bicep (R) - 14.2

Down 1.3inches YAY!!! Food today was significantly better (today is a new day!).

Bfast:
1/3c 1% cottage cheese
1 lrg banana
black tea w/ 1/4tsp honey
Snack1:
1 med non-fat milk half sweet mocha with 1T whip (it appears that I can not learn from my mistakes)
Lunch:
1c BNS Mac&Cheese
1.5c roasted brussle sprouts
1/3c activia apple&grain yogurt
1.5c fresh strawberries (OMG YUM)
Snack2:
pro-atmeal (thanks to nerd girl for this one! me like) protein powder, oats, flax seeds
1/3c pumpkin custard (mixed in)
Dinner:
1 chicken breast pan fried in lite oil spray with 1 sm zucchini
2c mixed greens
10 snap peas
1 sm beet steamed
1T xvirgin oil
1T balsamic vinegar

6x hearty ryr crackers + 2tsp marg
Mint tea x2

Water: working on just over 2L right now, by bed time - should be over 3L.

Exercise: Walked to work (1km), walked home from work (2.2km), walked down the 468stairs from my office floor to the ground floor! (yay).

Better, much much better.

Sunday Cleaning and Cooking

Well today I have not yet tackled any exercise, but I'm hoping that inspiration will strike me after I'm done in the house. I've done 2 loads of laundry and have been to the store for my fruits & veg for this coming week. Now, to complete the plan, I have a lot of cooking, roasting and preparation to do.

Weeeeeee!!!!!

On the cooking list today:
1. Massive butternut squash Mac&Cheese (double recipe - that stuff freezes well)*
2. Pumpkin pudding (1 weight watchers point per serving!)
3. Roasted brussle sprouts

Snack Packing done:
1. Activia Apple&grain yogurt x6 1/3c
2. 1% cottage cheese x6 1/3c
3. Baby carrots x3 baggies
4. Snap peas x7 baggies
5. Strawberries x2 1c (these are fresh and I topped them and put them in a Ziploc container, I can't wait to get at them!!)
5. Oatmeal/protein powder/flax seed baggies x4
6. 1oz swiss cheese & 1 slice Deli ham roll-up's x4

In the fruit bowl: (with gratuitous "fruit-moose" shot)
Large navel oranges x5, banana (in various stages of ripeness) x5, Mango x1

In the fridge:
Zucchini, Beets, Sweet potatoes, Red potatoes, Chicken breast thawing, Eggs & whites, swiss cheese, deli ham, Almond breeze, box of mixed spring greens for salads.

In the freezer:
Ground Turkey (for more chickpea-turkey burgers), Various mixed vegetables, bag of berries

*note...Mr.K was asking about what size of BNS to get... I advised that I need one about 10inches long and quite thick. Much snickering followed!! When will we grown up? NEVARRRR

So there we have it - I have NO excuses for not getting in good healthy foods for this week. There is lots of great foods that require a little steaming and then are ready for eating.
Foods are made and ready for my lunches, snacks and dinners. I was quite proud yesterday morning that I ate the last orange in the dish - and NONE went bad or had to be tossed out. I've noticed that my fridge - though fuller of greens then ever before has not become a place where veggies go to die. I'm looking at what is in there each night and using the foods that need to be eaten instead of saying, "eff this, I'm ordering pizza".

Speaking of pizza, I was thinking back to last year at this time, my Friday night was "treat night" for me and this is typically what I would have. 1 large double peperoni pizza thin crust (2,800 cal), 2 diet cokes (2 cal), and 1 tub of peanutbutter tracks Ben&Jerry's ice cream (1,440 cal). I can NOT even imagine being able to finish all that anymore. That is 4,242 calories.

HOLY CALORIES BATMAN! Thats 2 days worth of food for me now consumed in one meal - totally under the radar, eaten without even thinking. And not a single nutrient to be found. You want to know what else is funny - I was wondering why my clothes were getting tighter. Its amazing what you can do without even thinking. EVERY Friday... pizza & ice cream night....what a mess!

I'm so glad that I've started changing my life. :)

Walking With Dinosaurs...

***narrators voice over*** The Tamasaurus Rex stalks through the frozen tundra, leaving deep tracks in the icy snow. Stopping the exhausted Tamasaurus's head swings into the wind, and sniffs - it carries the sent of fresh muffins and coffee - she opens her gaping maw and bellows. Nothing is more dangerous in this land then the hungry Tamasaurus, a brutal creature that will stop at nothing for caffeine.****cut scene****

Be afraid people... very afraid!

7.7km... the last 3.5 were tough, it was unploughed walking - so lots of snow to get through and its getting softer as the weather starts to walk up, so not walking so much as slogging, like walking in mud. Let me tell you, my legs are feeling it today and tomorrow is going to be worse! But also good. :D

Eating today has been very random. I have it all in my head, but we'll see what it looks like when I type it out here.....since I've not been keeping track physically all day as I typically do when I'm at the office.

Bfast:
orange (86)
handful of almonds (69)
kashi peanut bar (120)
kashi cherry&choc bar (120)
Snack1:
peach/oatmeal muffin (250)
Snack2:
lrg mochachino with (lite)whip (150)
lrg rice crispy square (360)
Lunch:
vegetarian sammich on whole wheat pumpkin bread (cream cheese with cucumber, sprouts, lettuce, tomato, & pickles) (240)
Dinner:
1cup coconut rice (190)
6oz steak in a Crying Tiger Thai very spicy dish (also had about 8slices of cucumber in it) (350)
2 cookies (260)
1/2 can diet pepsi (1)
Snack3:
1 pot apple sauce (45)

Total calories: 1771

I decided to write this post since I'm actually hungry right now (ate some apple sauce see: snack3)- I wanted to write it out and see what I've had and how much I've had today. I haven't counted calories in a LONG time... over a month - but I thought that today would be a good time to have a quick look to see how I'm doing. Interesting.

When I started counting calories I did the first week where I just wrote what I ate and didn't try to restrict, I just wanted to see what I was consuming... its was over 3,000 a day. I made a sheet to track it all in excel and started lowering the calories that I was eating.... to 2,800, then 2,500... the 2,200. I remember thinking that there would never be a day when I would be able to sustain myself on under 2,000 calories a day. The last while I think that I've been eating around 1,700 - 2,100. Which is actually in the neighborhood that I should be in at the moment.

Water - Excellent for a weekend. I've had 3L already and I'm drinking more right now.

Annoying to note that my rice crispy quare was more calories then my giant steak dish. Arg. That was one thing that I didn't need but I'm so jonesing for sugar these days I don't know what the hell is going on. :( Still not enough greens....let be honest. A pretty shite day for well rounded and nutritious meals.

Tomorrow will be better.

Friday Nosh

Today I'm feeling better - just over 7 hours of sleep last night, I know that has a lot to do with it. I was looking back through my past few days of eating and there is a significant lack of greens... so I shouldn't have been surprised that I had all those cravings come up.

Today's lunch was a massive spinach salad to pump me full of the good stuff again.

Bfast:
1/4c oatmeal/flax/protein powder - the rest of it was blow up in the nuker! Oops
1 coffee with 2 mini creamers
1 Kashi peanut butter granola bar
Snack1:
1 med skim milk mocha latte (little bit of whip)
Lunch:
2c spinach, 1 hard boiled egg, 2slices of pickled beets, 1/4c sprouts, 3oz ham, 3 broccoli spears, 1/4c mushrooms, 2T black olives, 1T ranch dressing
1 whole grain bun, 1tsp butter
1slice homemade banana bread (could not resist)
Snack2:
1/2c Activia Apple&Grain Yogurt
Snack3:
banana
Snack4: (post walking home)
2x Kashi bar with 2tbsp cashew nut butter
Dinner:
1 12" roasted chicken sub with veggies from the evil empire known as Subway...even though I read that post by Tony at the Anti-Jared, I just couldn't get my sh*t together to cook tonight. 1 small bag of salt and vinegar chips and 1/2 can diet coke (Happily I couldn't bring myself to finish it...Yay coke has become almost unpalatable).

This is really NOT much of a great evening, given the dinner and the pre-dinner snacks. Its another cope out really - where I wanted MUCH MUCH worse things and this was the healthiest that I was going to settle for tonight. I shall have to ensure that I up the activity. Also NOTE TO TAMZIN... do NOT let yourself get too hungry, that really limits your ability to make good rational choices...it will only end in tears on Monday morning on the scale...END NOTE.

Water: Good 3L day AND I'm not peeing anywhere as much as I used to! weeee!

Exercise: walked TO work (1km) and then walked HOME from work (1.5km). Not as much as I was hoping to get in, (insert bevy of excuses here) but I'm getting more regular in getting more in daily. So as long as I keep moving in that direction... I'm making progress.

So, nothing revolutionary for sure, but a good Friday to end the week...even though it seems likely that I'm going to be back in here tomorrow.

From the Department Of Minor Accomplishments

Today has been a hair straight back, ears pinned, flat out kinda day. ug.

Sleep - a disappointing 7 hours last night;
Food - fair to middling;
Water intake - poor (correcting that as we speak);
Treat day resistance - High! Assisted ably by the office people that scarf the treats like starving dogs...also we have about 15 new co-op students here and lets just say that they are "very interested" in treat day. I shouldn't have too many worries about left-overs in the kitchen tempting me for more then say 30min once the word is out that there is free food somewhere. haha

bfast:
1c Almond Breeze (how long does a box stay good once its been opened?...perhaps tomorrow I will not drink directly from the carton just.in.case.)
1 colon-rocking baggie of oatmeal, flax & protein powder with 1/2c raspberries
coffee x1.5 med mugs with creamer (yes... I feel the shame of having cream in my coffee again)
Snack1:
Kashi cherry and dark chocolate chip bar
Lunch:
Spicy seafood pho (from the awesome Vietnamese place near the office) & green tea
Snack2:
remainder of 2nd mug of coffee consumed cold while typing this.
med banana
Snack 3: (post workout)
large orange
Kashi Cherry & Dark chocky chip bar
Dinner:
1.5cups Tomato soup
4 small slices rye bread with 2 oz cheese and 2 slices deli meat split between them - lovingly toasted under the broiler for poor mans open face "grilled" cheese sammiches and 1 dill pickle
Snack4:
1/3c cottage cheese, 1tsp cashew nutbutter

Exercise:
post work - 468 stairs down from office to ground floor. CHECK
Then I'm going to give the gym treadmill what for with at least 3 sets of jogging in my 10min on 1 min walking regime. (will likely watch Oprah again) - modified
Walk home from gym (1.5km ish). CHECK

edit::
Didn't get as much cardio in that I was hoping. Also didn't watch Oprah.
8min warm up on the elliptical
22min on the treadmill - 10min at 3.6, 10min at 3.0, 2min at 2.5
stretching

Mr.K is out at the pub quiz night tonight so I'm going to eat and then perv blogs and hopefully be in bed early tonight. Hindsight......errm foresight......"hopefully" isn't really good enough here....TONIGHT I WILL BE IN BED AT 11PM

Friday Nosh & Daily Goal

Bfast:
1c Almond Breeze (unsweetened)
1 med banana
2 tsp cashew/macadamia nut butter
1 whole grain wrap
1 c black tea w/ 1/4 tsp local honey

Snack 1:
1 med skim milk latte

Lunch:
1.5c BNS Mac&Cheese
1c mixed greens (asparagus, peas, spinach)
1/2c Apple&Grain Activia yogurt

Water thus far: 2 liters

Snack 2:
2 slices deli ham
1T mustard
1slice low fat swiss cheese
1 whole grain wrap

Dinner:
2 turkey&chickpea burgers
1c brown rice
1c spinach
1T herb mustard

Snack 4:
3/4c oatmeal
1T protein powder
1/2 raspberries
1 banana

Goal today...I'm not too sure. I got up this morning and weighted myself again ... just to make sure that yesterdays weight wasn't some sort of cosmic joke on me.... Nope. 275.6 again. :)

Oh - I know what my goal today is.... Today is a weekend Goal. To drink 3L of water on both Saturday and Sunday. I'm very bad at getting my water in on weekends. I sleep late, get coffee and don't have a water bottle next to me all the time. This weekend... water central!