Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!
My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I ended up at the gym instead of outside as it was raining hard and ... well... I didn't want to dirty up my new pristine runners! hahah What a princess!!!
The run was really quite good once I was started. I even got lost in thought in the last 10min phase and ended up running an extra minute while my mind was off in another place. Amazing!
Of course the "She Wolf" song is timed perfectly for the "gawd damn I don't want to be running" portion of the run, and the "Sexy Chick" song is well positioned for the "walking would be nice right about now" phase! Both songs get me moving and running that little bit harder. I walked for another 20 minutes and was all done!
Managed to get in 55min in total, 3 miles (I think... I forgot to write it down). I feel pretty darn good about it. **BIG SMILE**
Yesterday I dusted off and reworked my of food diary. I have my excel sheet with my total calories for the day with a percentage for Carbs, fat and proteins (55%, 20%, and 25% daily intake respectively). Then I can track each food for calories, carbs, fats and proteins with what my daily should be and see if I can kick start my eating in a new direction. Tracking itself is a wake up - well... more mindful since you have to remember what it was and write it down.
On a side note - the HR woman's (with whom I have an interview on the 5th) name who I misspelled emailed me back with a "not a problem, have a great holiday" email. Phew! And yesterday I was called by an agency regarding another position that I applied for. Fingers crossed for an interview on that one too. I would very much like to rejoin that land of the working!
Another side note - I really want to thank all of you for your comments these last few days. It is really been hard to bite the bullet and accept that I have failed and move forward again. Even blogging can make one feel like they are still isolated. Your comments were very appreciated. You all rock my socks!!! Perspective is free for the taking, but can be hard to get and focus on ones success! You have all given me that with your blogs and your comments, and I thank you.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I'm really really sorry that I have treated you like this. I'm also sorry that it had to get this far for me to have to make some changes.
... ug. I did it... but I'm not happy about it. Updated the side pictures in a fit of inspiration from Greta at the Big Bottom Blogger! For all of you out there that are here looking. I'm sorry for the gratuitous butt shot. But underwear isn't made to hold that in anymore. Well... not any that I own.
On a side note - I think that it is quite funny that I have almost the same floor and wall colour in my new house as in the last one. HA!
Warning: This Post is a collection of random shittery.
This morning I was gripped by the pancake monster - and I was trying to think of some ways that I could work "healthy" & "pancake" together to justify getting pancakes (and syrup) for breakfast. I even started to wash the pan to cook them in, and then I woke up and got out my Red Mill 10 grain hot breakfast cereal, put in some oats, and then stuck that it the nuker for 4 minutes with water! Viola!!! Added a small banana, 1 T of natural peanut butter and 1 T of honey and breakfast was completed. I'm only just starting to get hungry now.Lunch today is going to be toasted open faced mozz & tomato sandwiches on my double fibre bread with Amys Tomato Bisque soup, with a couple of dill pickles. If you have not tried Amys Tomato Bisque soup, you are missing out! It is outstanding!
I woke up this morning and by the gawds was I sore from yesterdays raking adventure!!! I could ACTUALLY feel an abdominal muscle!! (they are there...somewhere deep in there). I am feeling good though, well worn out and my foot is getting better. I have my acuball-mini out for some stretching.
Looking for things to do yesterday I found a couple of organizations that do group hikes in Houston/Texas area. I have a few leads on some weekend activities that will get us up and out of the house.
I'm also thinking about perhaps joining a Dragon boating group. Not too sure on that one yet. I still have no job, so that limits me, as I refuse to buy a car before I get a pay cheque... and of course, no disposable cash without income. So there might be some waiting on that. I'm really missing a social/physical life that I got from sports.
Today I will either 1. go for a walk or 2. go to the gym. Step class is cancelled for the holidays, so that is out. But I will get in something today. I may even attempt my yoga dvd again!
Now, I have had over 1liter of water!!!! and my next task is to start perving on your blogs to see how everyone else is doing. I'm still formulating my plan on what to do about my massive weight gain! I should be dusting off my old excel spreadsheet for food tracking very soon and getting started back into that for one!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Today I was supposed to go for my morning run, however after yesterdays walking my plantar fasciitis started acting up - which is always a clear indicator to me that I need to get some new runners - which I did! Asics 2150's! My fave and they carry large and wide sized. Mine are size 10.5 normal, but they do carry up to size 12 wide for the ladies!
I woke up and my poor foot was very sore and stiff (I'm not surprised in light of my 16lbs gain) so I decided that I would walk today instead of running and potentially making it worse. I'm hoping to get in a run tomorrow instead.
So me and Mr. Tamzin went for a walking the sunshine - 2.75miles in 45minutes (5,500 steps). Then we stopped by the HomeHardware for a couple of rakes and spent the next 2 hours in the yard getting all the leaves up and bagged. My GAWDS I'm sore now. Raking is quite the workout.
I've been pretty blue since yesterday, but I'm looking for the light in this, I really am. I'm making a list and checking it twice and I know that I can make changes that are going to impact me in a positive way.
For right now, I'm staying moving, trying to get in more activity and staying positive. I can not let myself side away into the Pity Party that is waiting for me (complete with binge) should I let that get the better of me. This time it won't...the Pity Party will have to go somewhere else for invitees.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
297...beers on the wall?
297...minutes until blast off?
297...lbs that I now weigh
Right... yesterday I started a post that was all... boo hoo and waaaa and I think I'm fatter and why is life so hard and *BARF* I never finished or posted it.
WHY, you ask??! Because I already knew the answer to that question, and the answer is YES... YES I AM FATTER.
Why? I have asked myself! Because I lack control- scratch that - because I do not take responsibility over what I eat, how much I am eating and combining that with the fact that I get VERY LITTLE exercise. In fact, moving to Houston has cut my general activity by 90%.
I used to walk to and from work, up and down the stairs at the office... maybe only 2 or 3 flights a day, but that is still 100% more then I am getting now. I would get groceries and carry them home, walk on the river on weekends and occasionally get to the gym.
Now... I sit all day on my ever increasing ass, grazing from the fridge and pantry as my boredom and general malaise dictates (which is frequent) as well as eating too much and too many of the wrong things. There have been oranges in the fridge for a week and I have eaten one! Not one a day, but one in a week. I will eat a jar of salted peanuts in 3 days. Why.... because there are peanuts and crackers and soup and bisquick to be made into yummy thing that "make me feel better".
Well... they aren't doing much to help my mood right now.
Today I bought a scale.
I didn't want to - because weighing in at the gym and telling myself that it was wrong was a lot more pleasant on the ego then stepping onto my new scale and seeing the number 297.8 come up.
I have now reached an all new high of 297.8lbs. So there you go... I have increased my maximum weight just over 13months ago from 281 to 297.8lbs. I guess I am going to have to take some new and more horrific pictures to adorn the top of my blog since those pictures are now my some 16lbs LIGHTER then the here and now. OMG that is depressing.
Beautiful, a gain of 16.8lbs.
In the last two months I have also noted that I have begun to have acid reflux. Coincidence... I think not.
Now I will have to become more accountable. Other then that. I just don't know what I'm going to do yet.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Tomorrow morning, me and Mr.Tamzin will be going for a nice long walk in the park and enjoying the lovely winter here. When I come home I will re-read what I wrote and see what light that time and perspective can shed onto it.
I'm betting a lot of light will be shed!
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
However, I was bemoaning that to the husband while he was getting ready for work and he and I will try to get out and do a walk this evening. We have a regular coffee/social gathering on Wednesday evenings - so we will try to get outside, or to the gym before we head over there.
Happily, my legs are feeling great after last night step class! No soreness at all, so that is telling me that things are getting better... and that is the whole point. :) YAY!!
Also on a "face-palm" moment today. I logged in to my mail and saw that the woman who I am interviewing with in the first week of January... I sent her a confirmation for interview and I SPELT HER NAME WRONG. F************CK It is Maria, and I spelt it Marie... I am a total numb skull. Kiss that job bye bye.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
ha! How is that for forced exercise! And of course - bonus exercise for me! :) I'm going to sleep well tonight since I could hardly keep up. It was brutal!! I was dreanched in sweat after. All in all, a good time was had and my legs and lungs are well worked out!
Then, Hubby suggested dessert post-dinner at said step class friends house and I said, "we really don't need it". He agreed and we returned to the house sans dessert! VICTORY! Then I ate a low-fat pumpkin cookie...which is not that bad/good for you. Its not like a celery stick or anything, but its not a slice of full-fat cheesecake either. So....STILL VICTORY! haha
Running tomorrow....yes I will, yes I will, yes I will!
Monday, December 21, 2009
I got up this morning and went on my run. It was hard, but not the impossible dream that it was last week. I had to keep telling myself that I would do it - rain, shine, sick, dying, winy... extra winy.... extra extra supreme winy.
I am starting to get a bit sick...I can feel the pressure in my ears... and I was pretty sure that I was going to use that as an excuse to not run this morning... but I didn't. Its just 30 minutes.... if you can't do it, you don't have to, but you have to try. And then I was out the door and off to the park.
Now then.... Running. I like to think of this in the loosest sense of the word. I use the word run and that means that I am "not walking". I would guess that I am moving at about the 3mile an hour pace... if not less. However today...I was out there.... in the final 5 minutes of the run... the thing that I feared the most happened....
A person walking caught up with me. They didn't pass me... but I am pretty sure that it was out of embarrassment for me that they turned around and went back the way they had came from... or got to their car mercifully before they could actually pass me. I did pick up the pace a little when I caught them in the corner of my eye... but by gawds.. I didn't have a lot of gas to give at that stage.
Anyway - I will live, and I will keep running, and soon I won't be passed by walkers!!
Dec 21, 2009 -
5min walk warm up
3x 10min run with 1 min rest between.
Also, here is another reason why running in the mornings isn't so bad. I brought my camera for a post run pic today... its so beautiful out.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Also got in our big Sunday Shopping trip... have a few meals planned out for this week and got a couple of the basics that we need for the shelves. The trip around the store was 1,500 steps. I'm enjoying wearing the pedometer. I guess I like to have numbers to look at, especially since I'm not weighing in and don't have a scale! I will have to do some inches soon... perhaps New Years Inches.....
However, all that being said I have already had over a dozen different thoughts about how I am going to skip out on my morning run tomorrow. Ahh that old chestnut, self doubt!
Regardless, I am pressing on. Running clothes are all set. Ipod is ready to go with my watch and runners.... all laid out in a row!
Okay, early to bed tonight! Get my good zzz's in before I get up tomorrow and show myself who's boss!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Most of this is from the Now 32 CD that I just purchased for the specific reason that I knew I needed some new pump me up music for mornings....so I load them onto my itunes at home and put them on my adorable little shuffle.
1. Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson
2. Best I ever Had - Drake
3. Paparazzi - Lady Gaga
4. I gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas
5. Whatcha Waiting for - Gwen Steffane
6. Just Dance - Lady Gaga
7. She Wolf - Shakira (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!) Ahhoooooo
8. Sexy Chick - David Guetta
9. Whatch Say - Jason Derulo
10. Good Girls Go Bad - Cobra Starhip
11. Down - Jay Sean
12. Knock you Down - Keri Hilson
13. I'm on a boat - Lonely Island (lots of F bombs in this in)
14. Battlefield - Jordin Sparks
15. No Surprise - Daughtry
All but track 5, 6 and 13 are from the Now 32 CD. Its sad, but true that I am now too old and out of touch to stay current with the new beats that come out. I have not got MTV and I don't listen to the radio much and I don't go out "clubbing" anymore. All my dance music is +5years and older from when I was living in the UK. These compilation CD's are the only thing keeping me hip to the kids anymore! haha
I was up - it was a lot easier to keep going. I got my new kicking tunes all loaded into my ipod last night and the CD in the car to pump me up before. It totally worked. I was excited to get out there.... Yes... EXCITED!
I walked for 5min... and in that five minuted I cataloged about 40 excuses for why I should keep walking and NOT run. But it all boiled down to... I promised myself that I would.
1min 10 sec... well this isnt so bad!
3min 15sec.... OMG HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN RUNNING.. 3 EFFING MINUTES???...shit....
5min 5 sec...holy gawd, how an I going to manage to get through 30min of this...
7min 3 sec... I can't do this....
8min 54sec....maybe this is good enough, I can do one set of ten and then walk the rest...
10min... sweet jebuz a minutes rest!!!!
11min...I will run just as far as I can... if I can't I won't but I have to keep trying....
12min 50 sec... ohhh Shakira's ...She Wolf..... Ahhoooooo
15min..10sec...wait...how much longer... *math math math*.....
18min 4 sec... I will only do 2time 10 mins...that okay right.... I'm starting to hurt...
21min... THANK THE GAWDS FOR WALKING
22min... its only 10 more minutes... I can go as slow as I want, I just HAVE to do it. I WILL DO IT....
27min... only 5min left
28min... only 4min... FOOOUR MINUTES.......wait... no I still have 5min left.. arg
29min...okay 4min...I can do it
31min... haha I'm on a boat...this song is soooo funny...
32min...my legs hurt
33min... I DID IT!!!!!! well that was a lot of mental torture for something that I can do. :)
Then I did some stretches, and grooved all the way home to more Shakira. Happily I'm only 5min away from the park so the trip is quick!
I got home and while I was changing Mr.Tamzin made me a heart shaped egg on toast with "Love" written in mustard. Awwwwwwwwww Damn I should have taken a picture. He is just the sweetest!
okay. Great start to the day. I can feel the heat creeping up in my quads as I type now. Time for my morning indulgence of Wendy Willams and coffee!!!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
This Christmas I'm re-gifting the "I cant's" and I'm giving myself a whole box of the "I wills". This Christmas I'm giving me the freedom to succeed.
This is something that I have not done for 2 years. Succeed. I'm been talking about it, and half heartily attempting it.
Today I am going to spend time setting out my plan and making sure that I have the tools to achieve it. AND... I'm going to SET and TRACK an ACTUAL GOAL. I've been shying away from the G word for a loooong time. Because I've been unwilling to actually TRY.
So here it is:
SMART Goal: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic & Timely
One month goal:
Monday, Wednesday & Friday
3x 10min jogging, 1 min resting between each set
Everything else that I may or may not do in the week is "gravy"...or.. Anti-gravy! HAHA I love it. Anti-gravy! Tuesday step class, yoga at home, walking on weekend, any gym time with hubby. All that is the extra bit that will or won't happen - no sweat. but I WILL RUN THREE TIMES A WEEK IN THE MORNINGS AT 7AM.
Monday, December 14, 2009
I managed to get in a 25min walk today. I also stood in line at the post office for over an hour to send all the holiday cards out. Yikes.... I hope I remember next year to get that done a lot sooner.
I've been headachey all day though, and feeling generally rubbish. Not too sure why, but I'm thinking that my sleeping (which has been exceptionally poor) is part of the reason.
Okay... pee time, then dishes, then packing. Off to Dallas for a couple days. I'm going to see about finding a gym up there for the evenings. Try to get in some time doing something physical.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
We went for a walk on Saturday afternoon, hubby and I did 30min of strong walking - 3,400 steps and about 1.9miles if I remember correctly.
Saturday night we went for dinner with friends, rustic Italian place. I shared a calamari and caprese salad starters and small thin crust oven bakes pizza (caprese also...I do love me some tomatoes, mozza and basil!). Had water (no pop) and felt really good.
These friends are BIG drinkers. In fact, they almost always want to go to the bar and just sit and drink. Which I am not a fan of and they were kind enough (knowing that I am not a drinker) to ask me to suggest some other things for us to do....
haha! It was great - an hour of throwing 10lbs balls down the lanes. I had a glass of diet dr. pepper. They had massively over poured highballs for cheap and all were happy. We did end up in a bar after for a post bowling drink, I had a gin and tonic. But it was a welcome change to total ass-numbing sitting for three hours.
We are going to give bingo a try too. But I'm going to have to think of some other things that we can do physically to do with them in the evenings or else I'm going to go crazy.
Oh.. and the Will Power part of this post. After dinner they asked me what I wanted to do ... and what I WANTED to say was... lets go for dessert at the Chocolate Bar so that I could scarf down exra large portion of cake.
Anyway - almost snuggle time so I need to wrap this up. My legs are sore and so is my neck and shoulders and arm from the bowling. All in all a good weekend and I'm going to carry this into the coming week.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
So I'm not too pleased about that - however, I'm getting in LOTS of water, and rest. I also had an interview on Thursday afternoon- and I have a second interview tomorrow... fingers crossed.
Food has been solidly 7 out of ten. We have been doing really good about eating in...which is ever so much better in terms of getting in my veg and good proteins. :)
Today I'm making turkey/chickpea meatloaf (modified from the Clean Eating mag for turkey/chickpea burgers), with green beans and couscous. Dessert is a very simple apple & berry crisp with brown "sugar" splenda, cinnamon, nutmeg and a light oat topping. Which I'm sure is going to be very yummy... but have not ever made before.
I'm guessing berries, apple and splenda is going to be a hit and not a swing and a miss.
Other then that, I've been fighting off whatever Mr.Tamzin has had for the last 4 days. I'm not feverish yet - but scratchy throat and plugged ears... so I'm taking it easy at the moment and catching up on Christmas cards and such.
that is all!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Get Fit on the Road
Get Strong in the Gym
Get Lean in the Kitchen
My brother came for a visit and we were talking about weight/fitness and all that business. It was nice actually, since he was here minus the family and we never get a lot of time together alone to just hang out and talk. He and I are very very similar (16months apart in age) and at the same time, totally different (insert plenty of psychobabble regarding trouble childhood/broken home/various step-parent issues etc etc).
We both have similar body types, and the same tendency to carry weight in the same areas, but in the end he is fit, and lean and strong and I am fat and out of shape. In fact, I was shocked to see that he now has a six-pack. O.O
He is a firefighter by trade, so this in itself tends to lend itself to more working out and keeping fit ... since their lives depend on it. However, its not like he's always been a lean-six-pack machine. He has been chubby and huffing and wheezing and fat and out of shape in his lifetime... and had some pretty big weight gains and losses. But these last 5 years he has been getting fitter and leaner every time I saw him. It made me think..."hey, what gives??"
What gives is this: I indulge in food and do not get enough exercise. He manages his food, and gets in all the fitness training that he needs - for both job and happiness in body appearance. I eat to alleviate my worries, cure boredom, and bury emotions that I do not want to express. I need to change.
We were in the car and I was telling him the typical bullsh*t that I say - I'm fat but strong, I can walk for miles "fit fat".... and he said to me that these were the words that he said to himself: Get fit on the road, get strong in the gym and get lean in the kitchen. It was a moment with him that I haven't had before. Where, he was (I just I'm just going to infer here since I don't know for sure, but this is what it felt like) telling me that he acknowledged my shape, and had felt the same pain before and this is what he has done to help himself. It felt really really supportive actually. Nice to be next to him and not feel like I was being judged.
While he was here I actually called the sister-in-law and said... "holy crap, he has a six pack now... what has he been doing differently??" And she told me that what she had noticed was that his eating had changed.
Its the sad truth that I have been trying and trying to circumnavigate. Food ... Eating Habits ... Portion Control...
So I'm trying to keep these things in mind because I am an exercise eater. If I exercise...I get to eat more. When really, this is not the case. The gym is where I get fit and strong... the Kitchen is where I get lean. And now I have to make the food choices that will assist that and stop eating the calories that I've burned on the road.
Time to make a sign for the fridge.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
I suppose this is the reason not to have any around! :)
oat pancakes (1 egg, 3/4c rolled oats, 1/2c heartsmart bisquick, water) with walnuts and honey
coffee with fat free cream
rice with shrimp in tomato sauce with onions and peas (Husband made it for dinner last night)
Lynn's amazing Butternut Squash Mac&Cheese. I add spinach to mine! And the cheese was a mix of sharp cheddar and white Mexican. Very nice and I'm all full of warm goodness! The Butternut squash was HUGE!
Now its time for bed. Today I did not get enough to drink. I need MORE water. Mostly I got caught at my desk online looking for work and effing about in general... before I sat down I needed to bring my water and I didn't. Big minus!
Must get in my Litre before sleepy time!