Thank you for stopping by to perv on my blog, as I fight myself to change my old habits and make new ones to get fit. I don't get it right all the time, but I'm still here and I'm still working at it.

Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!

My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Sunday Walk

Today I didnt get as far on my walking as I wanted.
4.1km (2.6miles)done.

But it was at a leisurly pace with friends and baby. I've generally eaten okay, but I'm in the mood for something "bad" for dinner. Happily I used to be already dialing the pizza place at this point, but I'm not in the mood for greasy pizza. I have to say that I'm a litle sore from my workouts this week, but nothing too carzy, so I guess I could be working harder. My last walk on Friday I felt, ans still am, in my hips and calves.

I picked up food for lunches and dinners, more hummus, veggies and lots of fruits; green apples, mandarin oranges, bananas, and kiwis. I have some cottage cheese and Activia yogurts with the fibre/grains - they are soooo good.

I've spent this week setting some goals and getting settled into my new weight lose lifestyle. I'm still plagued by all kinds of crazy food thoughts right now, but I'm hoping that they will pass as my new foods become more enjoyable then the fatty processed foods that I typically crave.

Final Goals weight: 195
First weight loss goal: -15lbs by Feb 1st, 2009
Fitness goals: weights x3 week, long walks x3 week and 1 rest day.

Monday is my first weigh-in/measurements and round 2 of photo's. Not sure if I'm going to bother posting every pic I take, but just in case I want to see for myself, I'm going to take bi-weekly photos. Might make for an exciting slide show at some point. I'm excited and nervous!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Saturday Goal Met

Confession....I ate ice cream last night.......and I didn't like it. HAHAHA Holy karmic joke on me. 'Tis funny to have ice cream in the house that I can take or leave, instead of fantasize about eating out of the carton with a spoon with the freezer door open, but also good - since I will be able to tell myself I can't buy anymore while there is ice cream already at home. Win Win!

I got up today and went to the office for a couple hours, then left and went to the gym.
10 min warm up on elliptical machine.
Leg Press - 195x10 4 set of 295 x 6 reps
Calf Press - 195 x10, 295 4s x 5 reps
Hamstring Curls - 60x10 2s 100x 7r, 2s 105 x6r
Leg Extensions - 60x10 4s 100x 6rep
Lat Pull downs - 60x10 2r 90x 6r, 2r 95 x 6r
Military Press - 20 x10, 4s 25 x 6r
Bicep curls - 5s 20lbs x6r
Abs - 4 x 20r various crunches.
Lots of stretching!! I need it.

I'm really pleased with this session, I lifted more weights and generally felt a stronger. Even in one short week I've been noticing that with my increased activity I'm sleeping better. Its a good feeling.

I'm totally nervous about my weight in on Monday. The desire to lose weight is only eclipsed by the fear that I will take (again) the attitude that "this is easy pease lemon squeezey, why am I trying so hard". Well... I guess this is where the blog comes into play. Remaining ever vigilent!

Also a very quick thank you to the kind companions that have commented here! Thank you - its good to know that someone is watching!!!

Tonight I have a very late American Thanksgiving dinner. I'm bringing this amazing sprout recipe (except no cheese) and after getting to read all the posts from the blogoshere about every ones struggles, I'm going to have a healthy snack before I arrive, and then take small portion and eat slow and enjoy my food... there is always more if I need some.

I have also just posted a goal with another blogger Carolyn, 15lbs to shed from December 1st to February 1st. 2 Months. I can do it!!

Friday, November 28, 2008

Fridays Effort

Today was a good day for exercise, I do have to note that I have been sleeping like a baby at night right now. I'm so bloody tired at the end of the day.

I had a few too many treats in the food department - 1/2 sweet skim mocha with whip and a biscotti at 10am, bad pub burger for lunch - but a salad with. However this is a slippery slope that I have to be careful on.

I managed to get in 7.25km of walking after work, I was surprised that I was out so long. Left the office and started walking at 4:45pm. Got home at 6:15ish. I also made sure there was a large hill to climb. The view of the city was great on top of it. I called the hubby to tell him what I wonderful time I was having.

I did stop on the way home and pick up some dinner and.....ice cream. Ug. And a new book to read this weekend. Its low fat soy ice cream (80cal for 1/2cup of it). Trying to decide if I want some or if I just desire some(...hum, no question I want some - but do I need any?) Honestly, after yesterday melt down I shouldn't have even gone near the ice cream aisle...but I ended up with the low fat in lieu of (300cal per 1/2cup) Ben&Jerry's that I was originally holding.

Dinner was purposefully very filling and yummy:
3/4 c Humus with 10 baby carrots, 1/2 green pepper, 5 large button mushrooms and 2 small whole wheat pitas.

Tomorrow I have to go into the office and do a bit of overtime, which is actually good. My gym is in the office building so I can kill 2 birds with one stone. I'll work first and then gym so I don't have to stay all day.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Baby Steps

Today was weights day!
5 min warm up on elliptical machine.
Leg Press - 175x10 4 set of 295 x 6 reps
Hamstring Curls - 60x10 4s 100x 6r
Leg Extensions - 40x10 2s 85x 6r, 2s 100x 6rep
Lat Pull downs - 60x10 4r 90x 6r
Military Press - 5s 20lbs x6r
Bicep curls - 4s 20lbs x6r
Walked home 1.5km
I skipped abs today...lame ass reason. There was a Christmas vendor in the ab/stretching area with chocolates and tasty treats. Opted to walk home before I sampled any.

Today I was very hungry and obsessed about food most of the day. I ate 90% great choices. Breakfast - pot of yogurt, 1c rice, 1/3c coconut milk, 20 almonds (rice pudding a la microwave)
Snack - Skim milk 1/2 sweet green tea latte
Lunch - 8 California rolls with avocado and 2 salmon sushi, edemame
Snack - mandarin Orange
Snack 2 - sweet potato, 1/3 cup coconut milk
Snack 3 - I package of Flax Berry oatmeal
Dinner - 6 wasa crackers, 1 tbs becel, 3 slices organic flax&grain bread, 1/2 avocado, 1 tin tuna in water, 4oz low fat mozzarella cheese.

Dinner wasn't great in terms of calories. I really didn't need the crackers. or I could have had three...or I could have had an orange instead. Nor did I have anywhere near enough greens today, which might have compounded the issues.

I have to admit that I had a minor food crisis on the way home. I actually had a hunger pain!! OMG call the new channel.

I know, this is a good thing, but my sad fat brain takes this as a sign that I have to do thing, terrible terrible things like... eat ice cream. I stopped at the market to get the tuna...I stood in front the the ice cream looking at it longingly. I got more Goldfish cracker, wasa rye crackers, a tin of smooshed pumpkin (for the fab pumpkin custard recipe, but I couldn't remember the rest of the ingredients or I would be rolling around in my tub right now covered in pumpkin custard), the tuna and my new replacememnt treat lemon flavored Perrier water. I justify it with I have paid more for less useful things, and I am sitting here enjoying it as I type. Money well spent.

Anyway, I did some lateral shopping that satisfied my momentary crazy. I had to tell myself that there is food at my house, and IF... if I am hungry, I'm allowed to eat it. That seemed to quiet the beast.

This is a pattern that I have had for a long long time. I'm working hard to get it under control and have done so at various times with varying success. Its really quite scary to sit here thinking about all the things that I would have eaten if I hadn't told myself to simply wait. Not 10min ago I did a sweep through the kitchen with my radar on. I opened the fridge and then asked myself, "am I really hungry?". The answer is no. yay!

Baby Steps.

Interesting BodyFat Link

Today I found this link for measuring your body fat with inputting your measurements.

I put in my numbers and this is what it spat out:
Body Fat - 28.5%
Lean weight - 196.5 lbs
Fat weight - 78.5lbs

Interesting. I was thinking that I would set my goal weight at 190lbs. I guess you can look and look and look and try to get all these calculations and numbers to tell you what your ideal numbers are... but in the end your body is going to have to find its own place. I'm afraid that 190 is too light. I've been 190before in my adult life and it was for about a week, maybe 200 is a better goal?

I guess this is just like the BMI rubbish, its a tool, it gives a measure and something to gage but it is certainly not a professional body fat inspection with calipers or in the water submersion thing.

I'm going to have to set some goals very soon though. Or I will get lost in the weekly workouts without the proverbial carrot on the string to keep me going.

Office Hell Day

Today was a pretty darn Good day all things considered. Wednesday is "Treat Day" at the office, and unfortunately for me... the kitchen is steps away from my desk. A bevvy of sweets and pastries every Wednesday. Its tough to not indulge.

I tried to think about the story that I read on Prior Fat Girl. To give you the clift notes, she sees cake in the kitchen and the other ladies are eyeballing it. They see her and basically make some comments about how bad they are, and how good she is/she would never be caught eating cake. Ironically, PFG had been debating have a "small taste", but thier comments reminded her that she didn't need it.

I managed to hold off for a couple of hours, but at 11am....Cinnamon Bun from Treat Day was in my hands. It was a mini one, and only one. So I can't decide if this is a FAIL or WIN? I'm going to go with win for now, in the past is would have been 3 or 4. Although I'm inclined to feel fail since I ate it at my desk "fast and low" so that no one saw me. Guilt eating....I don't like how I feel when I do that, and in the end I didn't get to enjoy the damn thing anyway.

On to the good stuff.

Today was long walk day - 6.5km done. Big huge hill near the end...I don't know how long it was, next time I'm wearing my watch. I'm guessing 6min up.

All in, I'm going to give this day a positive review for exercise and a negative review for food maintenance.

Breakfast - pot of yogurt, coffee (3...that's bad), cinnamon bun
Lunch - small slice of lasagna, a big salad with olive oil and balsamic vinegar dressing
Afternoon Snack - Melba toast, little can of tuna, diet coke, and a mandarin orange.
Pre-Dinner snack - 30 Goldfish crackers, and 10 almonds
Dinner - Rice, 1/2 chicken breast, curry sauce, spinach and 1 med sweet potato with 1/3c lite coconut milk mashed in it (very yummy).

Dessert (which I didn't need but had anyway) was a very large slice of banana bread with 1/2 tsp of becel marg.

I need to get a better breakfast in me. I'm crazier with the eating at night when I don't have enough in the morning. Nothing revolutionary, I'm just going to have to make an effort to start packing lunches and more food for the office.

Today was full of struggles and sucesses. I just have to keep moving towards more days of success and less struggling and then.....all WIN!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Weights 1

Yay! Weights!

5 min warm up on elliptical machine.
Leg Press (Hip Sled) - warm up - 135lbs x 10reps
Set 1-4 - 295lbs x6reps
Hamstring Curls - W/U - 60lbs x 10reps
Set 1-4 - 100lbs x 6reps
Leg Extensions - W/U - 40lbs x 10reps
Set 1-4 - 90lbs x 6reps
Lat Pull downs - W/U - 60lbs x 10reps
Set 1 - 105lbs x 6reps
Set2 - 90lbs x 6reps
Set 3&4 - 80lbs x 6reps
Military Press - W/U - 20lbs x6reps
Set 1-4 - 20lbs x 6reps
Bicep curls - W/U 20lbs x 6reps
Set 1-3 - 20lbs x 6reps
Set 4 - 20lbs x 4reps
Abs - 5 sets x 20 crunches

Twas good! Got off an hour early from work today, and headed to the gym. Walked home 1.5km. I need to start doing more stretching. I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't been poked about my goals that I would have skipped this one for an early night home. But its a good feeling, that warmth...I think tomorrow I'm going to be sore. All the better to drink MORE water. I <3 you DOMS.


Mizfit ... you caught me and I thank you for it! I have yet to post up any goals. I KNOW that I need to set some and make a plan and start working towards it.

I get nervous since I have this horrible habit of not meeting goals. In fact I have often wonder how low I will have to set the bar before I can no longer fit underneath it and will be forced to meet a goal.

I have giving it some thought and here is what I have for the next 5 weeks (as my gym membership is done on December 31st and then I will have to find a new place to go).

Monday - walk home from the office (1.5-1.75km/1 mile**)/ pseudo rest day
Tuesday - weights/walk h.f.t.o.
Wednesday - long walk home + 1 hill (approx 5km)
Thursday - weights/walk h.f.t.o.
Fridays - long walk h.f.t.o + 1 hill (approx 5km)
Saturday - weights and walk (approx 3km)
Sunday - Run (3-5km) OR walk (7.5km)
**1km = .6 miles

My Xmas contingency plan is to break out the 30 day Shred DVD by Mistress of Pain errr Jillian Michael's if the gym is closed on a weights day (December 25th and January 1st). Its just 30min...even if its Christmas I should be able to do that!?

My basic plan was to make lump goals (i.e. lost 10lbs, lost 20 lbs etc) and then just post the date that I meet them on... I'm not sure that this is the right way to go, since then they is no time pressure to get me motivated? I've been toying with SMART goal setting...

S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Achievable
R - Realistic
T - Time based

I guess my mental exercise today is to think on this. My struggle now is how to set a goals that I'm going to be able to meet? This I know is going to be a problem for me.... any links/ suggestions/ ideas....

Monday, November 24, 2008

First Steps

Today is Monday (my self proclaimed day off)...except that I walk home everyday from the office, or at least try to. My favorite tool is the http://www.mapmyrun.com/create to log how far you walked/jogged, crawled etc.

Today I walked home 1.75km

I'm also going to drink 1 liter of water and if I feel like a treat I have some lovely mint tea that I have to try. :)

Its a start.

The Tragedy of Getting What You Want

I feel that I should explain why I chose the quote for my page. When I said that I have been fat for 20 years, that is really more of a mental state then just a purely physical one, since I have looked back at the photographic evidence and there are times where I was indeed "not fat" but in my mind at that time, I still saw myself as fat and believed at all times that I was indeed fat.

At the times when I have been my fittest (and lightest), I have often been the most cruel to myself. Subsequently falling back into that weight gaining cycle. This is the tragedy of getting thin, even when you are there is a giant mental flip that needs to take place. One of the best things that I have read in the last bit was an article called The fantasy of Being Thin. This article rang true for me.

The thinner that I have been, the less happy I have been since….shouldn't all my problems have been solved by virtue of my waistline? How could this be, I'm thin and I'm not a married millionaire model with a porche and house in Maui… life sucks, pass the ice cream….omg I'm fat life sucks, pass the dip.

I'm not happy with the way that I look or the size that I am, but more I am unhappy with the limitations that my weight puts on me physically. Here I am at my fattest and I have the best job that I've ever had, got married 2 months ago, I own a home, I have amazing friends and life is pretty darn exceptional. So I have to keep reminding myself that I am not going to change who I am by losing weight. Being fitter isn't going to make me a better person, I'm a great person already. I just want to enjoy my active life and treat my body more like a machine and less like a garbage dump.

So that quote is a little something to remind myself daily while posting here: I don't want to get what I want and for this to be another tragedy.

This time I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen.

The First Step

Today is the first step towards a fitter healthier life. I was inspired by the lovely lady at http://escapefromobesity.blogspot.com/ I hope that she doesn't mind that I am going to post her here. But looking at her story made me realize that pretending that I was a "healthy fat" and that I "carry my weight well". Just two lies that I used to keep myself sheltered from the following facts:

1. I am a size 24/22 and have been getting a half size bigger every year for the last four years;
2. I can no longer participate in the physical activities that I want to without embarrassment and/or "porno style" heavy breathing;
3. That I have been trying to convince myself that the weight is going to "go away" on its own; and
4. I hate being this fat.

So I have posted my biggest nightmare on the web for all its beautiful-horrifying glory to me. I am 34, fat and I have a gut that rivals that of St.Nick.

I am going to make some changes and its here for all to see.