Thank you for stopping by to perv on my blog, as I fight myself to change my old habits and make new ones to get fit. I don't get it right all the time, but I'm still here and I'm still working at it.

Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!

My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

More fuel for the fire

well... I was just over at a blog I follow - another TX gal, Deb at Shedding my Fatsuit. She has up her inches from July and I saw this and knew that I have been putting this off for some time now....

Annnnnnnd now I know why I've been avoiding it. The reality is that in the 10 months that I've been in Texas I have gained over 20lbs.

Oct 09/Mar 10/Aug 10

Neck -16.5/16.5/16.5
Bust - 51/49/51
Ribcage - 49/44/45
Waist - 50/50/51
Hips - 54/53.5/55
Thigh (L) - 27/26.5/27
Thigh (R) - 27/26/26.5
Calf (L) - 17.5/18/19
Calf (R) - 18/17/18.5
Bicep (L) - 15/ 15/16
Bicep (R) - 15/15.5/15.5

Total Inches:
Oct 14, 2009 - 340
Oct 28, 2009 - 334.7 (-5.3)
Nov 5, 2009 - 332.3 (-2.4)
Dec 2, 2009 - 332.1 (-0.2)
March 14, 2010 - 331.0 (-1.1)
Aug 14, 2010 - 340 (+9)

There you have it. Almost 2 years and I have gained straight back to where I started. Sadly, I was a lot lighter then, than I am now. So that tells me not only have I gained fat, but that I have lost muscle.

I was winging and moaning to the husband about my body the other day. He loves me - every inch and each lump and bump. But damn it... its hard to feel good some days.

Does anyone else out there have that strange things where one day you look in the mirror and see good - the next you see the fattest blob to walk the planet? I know that its perspective, but its really very crushing.

I want to stop and give up and lay down and stuff my face with chips. I'm not. I'm going to keep going and get my gym in and keep moving along. I know that the problem is one thing.....


or rather... lack of willpower around food. I don't understand why I can hate my situation SO MUCH, yet not make the changes to improve it??



Fat Daddy said...

I've walked that up and down road so many times. I get it. Only you can decide when to really draw that line. In the meantime...the only thing worse than falling off the wagon is failing to get back up on it. As hard as it is to let past failures go you have no real choice but to move forward. On day at a time. You can do it.

Anonymous said...

Really, the thing that worked best for me (I have lost 80 lbs and have kept it off for two years) was using Sparkpeople.com to monitor my food and exercising for an hour a day 6 days a week.
You certainly have the persistence for it. I have been reading your blog for quite a while now, I do think that you can do it.
There is no trick for sure, but don't give up!

Lori said...

Oh yes, I don't think at matters what weight you are at. Everyone has fat and thin days.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and see fitness, other times blobbiness.

You just can never give up. Every day is a new chance to live healthy.

Laryssa said...

It the "keep trying" that will eventually work. The fact that you keep at it, keep trying to lose the weight means you didn't gain 100 lbs in the last year. It means that it may take you longer than you had planned but you will achieve your goals. We all struggle ... but we keep getting back up and trying again. At some point, our minds and our bodies will click and we'll beat this fat monster. :)

Tammy said...

Oh you should see the weekend I just had....I earned every friggin' lb of it too...stupid, stupid, stupid. HOWEVER...we can always start anew, and one of these days, we'll actually get the consistency thing down pat and talking about our fat days will be in the very distant past. :)

Paula Rodriguez said...

Do not despair. I know it's difficult to stay the course. You don't even know how many times I end up eating mexican food on the weekends undoing my valiant attempt to eat right. Just don't give up.

Do what you can,when you can. I've learned to love the process of losing weight. It makes me happy when I'm working towards a healthy life. Maybe that mindset will help you.

hang in there