America...here I come

All my immigration papers are processed and I have been APPROVED!!! I've also been on three flights and been all across Canada getting my things in order, but that is done and dusted and well worth it.

I'm currently holed up at my Mums house for the next 7 days until we drive to Texas... yes, thats right, we are Driving!! :D

Actually - I'm looking forward to it, I think a cross country tour is going to be really interesting, a little tiring, but interesting.

I've been eating poorly - and not getting as much exercise in as I should, but now I have seven days to relax and just enjoy myself. My sister-in-law and I are going to do a bunch of local hikes and get out to enjoy my hometown before I leave.

Today I bought a 4L jug of water for the fridge and my goal this week is to drive it all each day. We shall see how it goes!!

okay - thats my quick note - not too sure when I will get on next. I'm thinking about you all though... I can't wait to have my computer set up again and my own space to live in so that I can get back in the loop.
xo
Tamzin

A quick TY and update!

just a quick TY to all who read and posted (or just read! I like that too). Been a busy weekend - and a busy week coming up.

I'm still thinking and trying to do better and get my arse moving more. All the same same for fatness and fitness.

On the fun side of things... tomorrow is my last day at my job. This coming weekend I have my immigration interview with the US Embassy... then I should have my Permanent Residency for the end of next week.... and I'm TX bound at the end of this month.

Its going to be a lot of packing, traveling, flights, and general moving and shifting of all my things. So I'm going to try and stay focused on eating and not getting too out of hand.

Anyway - HAPPY DAYS are coming soon.

:)

Salad & Shopping

Yesterday we had a huge salad left over from a catered lunch at the office. Just a big 'ol green salad with some cherry tomatoes and baby carrots. Nothing too interesting... and typically what happens is that post-lunch it goes into the office fridge and then stays there until it rots and gets tossed out in a week.

So .... I grabbed that salad and took it home with me! The household plan WAS going to be ordering in Chinese food for dinner however, what DID happen was that we got a roasted chicken and a loaf of French bread and had chicken, salad and bread for dinner. What is it about white bread with butter that is like my kryptonite? I had 3 pieces. But, I ate a massive amount of greens. It was nice. I was happy and instead of $50 on take out - we spent ohhh.... $12.00 on dinner for four.

I feel very happy.

Post dinner I went out to do a little clothing shopping. I had a gift card that was "Spend $100 and get $50 off". That is the kind of deal that I can not resist. Get $100 of clothing for $50...
There really wasn't much there that looked good on me - or that I liked. Honestly - I've never had so much trouble spending $100 before in my life. Then.. a sad thing happend.

I needed to try on a long sleeve white shirt under a jacket and the customer service lady was helping. Now please bear in mind that this is a plus size shop and I know I shouldn't be so upset, but I am. She looked at me and said "you're a 2x right".

Shamefully I am. Well - not shamefully...okay... Yes...shamefully I am. And I'd been trying to tell myself that its not that bad…but it is.

I remember when I was an an 16/18 in shirts... then an X and then a 1x and now... I'm a 2x and I'd been looking through the clothes and trying to convince myself that its just the clothes and not me. But it IS ME... I'm too F*cking Fat. I log into my blog here and SEE MY PHOTOS and you know… its totally disconnected - like that isn't even me. I DON'T see that when I'm walking around or putting on my clothes - but that IS what I look like. ARGGGGGGG

So after all that... I'm feeling like rubbish, I don't want to be a 2x, but I don't seem to want to make any changes in my life either? Do I? I say I do, but I feel like I never make any choices that support that. "Lady, put the bread down and move away from the table"!

I walked to work this morning - and I'll walk home tonight - and try to eat better and get my water in and keep moving in the right direction. It's just that the experience took the wind out of my sail for a bit. I guess, just htat someone could SEE my fat and know just how big I am. That is what was upsetting.

okay. Enough moaning myrtle for today. I have to just keep going forward.

Poopapotamus

well... if the title isn't enough to tell you this is a TMI post then you have been warned! :)

Day 2 at the new place... I'm back living with the bad-food friends. :( Its kind of a hard place to stay as they are such good friends, but with such HORRIBLE eating habits.

Today, I felt the effects of what a diet change like that can do. For the last three weeks while I was on my own cooking and eating pretty darn well 90% of the time I had these lovely fluffy fat poops full of fibre and not hard on the butthole....

Today I just had an event in the ladies loo at the office which can only be described as... liquid trauma.

Monday night:
White pasta manicotti stuffed with 2% cottage cheese, spinach (hardly visible) and meat - lots and lots of ground beef on top with some stewed tomatoes - covered in parmasagne cheese.

Tuesday night:
Turkey pot pie - fried turkey with frozen veg (peas and carrots), potatoes and mushrooms in a flour based sauce in a pie shell... covered with another pie shell (because one can not get enough of pie crust at dinner).... thats all.

Now- don't get me wrong - was it yummy. Hell YES. I heart pie crust a lot. But my toasted flax bread with mustard, ham, tomato and cheese sandwiches with side serving of red grapes was a hell of a lot better for me... and for my butthole.

:( must get in more fruits and fibres asap!