SATURDAY
Up at 5am to fly home aka "snack central" for a day, well more like 28 hours. Craziness.
1 power crunch protein bar
1 nasty bag of airplane snacks (I honestly couldn't tell you what they were)
3/4 12 grain bagel w/ cream cheese
1 apple & cheddar dutch pancake (pannekoeke) with 2T Stroop (molasses based syrup)
4 slices turkey bacon
coffee & cream x2
Then off to see my Granddad. My Granddad was put in convalescence and he isn't doing great. So I wanted to get to see him asap. He is an old tired out man who's had a great life, so I'm trying to not be too sad. I think he is in a lot of pain and won't be long for this world. It will be a relief in all honesty, and I hope that his last days are as good as they can be. But I know how much he doesn't want to be fed, bathed and changed and that's where he is at now.
15 triskets, 4oz cheddar cheese
1 small slices quiche
1 small bowl of borsht
4oz cheese
1 cup wheat thins
4oz chicken breast
2c chip mix (cheesies, doritos, pretzels)
I did do good and picked up all the fixings for BNS mac&Cheese (MORE EFFING CHEESE...really...give my head a shake. I had cheese at every meal). I did do well though - I have 1c serving with broccoli and carrots.
1C BNS Mac&Cheese
1c steamed broccoli & carrots
about 4oz of cheese eaten while cooking.
1 full fat root beer
1 c reg vanilla ice cream
1T chocolate sauce
4 pecans
I certainly didn't drink enough water, either day and I'm suffering right now because of it. I also burned my hand in the oven and I burned the roof of my mouth on my bfast this morning. ...I am not a happy bunny.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SUNDAY
Up at 6am to get the flight home and end up having airport food:
1 bacon quiche (yes...there was spinach, but I just had to have the bacon) *sigh*
Large Fruit cup (oranges, melon, pineapple, grapes! v.yum)
1 crispy crunch chocolate bar
1 coffee w/creamers
I was at the airport at my morning *time* and ended up having to poop in a stall with someone next to me... I hate that. Better then on the plane I guess.
Once home I had a run at 1pm today so I needed to get a little rest (short nap) and food.
2/4c whole oats
2T BP2
1 handful walnuts
2T honey
1 power crunch protein bar
Run: 7x 2min running and 1min walking. We did about 35min in total with out warm up and cool down walks. It was cold and I ran harder then I would have liked. I can feel it in my legs right now. But I was happy that I showed up and did the workout. I was thinking about not going, but I did.
After I went for groceries and made sure to get some more ziplock containers. The more lunches I make, the more the dirty ones sit in the sink...now there is plenty and shouldn't be any problem. One less excuse to use anyway. After groceries I went to the cheese shop... I really needed a slap today. I got some more Stilton and a very nice sheep milk cheese, Manchego. Yum!
3c mixed greens
1/2 green apple
10 green grapes
3oz Stilton
1 handful walnuts
3T red onion
1T xvoo & 1T balsamic vinegar
4 lite rye crackers
1tsp becel
1 pot activia yogurt
protein brownie
I have been in a state of discontent for the reminder of the evening... looking looking looking for something to eat. I have almost dialed for pizza 4 times. I ended up having a "protein brown". They are not the greatest (in either taste or calories)- but better then a real brownie and packed with proteins as they are some shake/bar thingy the husband found. Very yum, but it wasn't what I was looking for. I am in savory/carb mode. Bread bread bread MONSTER. Even now.
I don't know what I'm going to do right now. My mouth hurts, but my stomach is growling. I feel exhausted... thank gawd there is no crap food in the house. I need to get to bed ASAP. I'm also terrified of what the scales are going to show tomorrow morning.
Also...in my laundry list of crap things this week. I had my old fillings replaces and they are still sensitive to hot and cold and to the touch. *CRY* Let this weekend be over.
EDIT::
just ate....
1/2c 1% cottage CHEESE
2 dill pickles
Welcome
Thank you for stopping by to perv on my blog, as I fight myself to change my old habits and make new ones to get fit. I don't get it right all the time, but I'm still here and I'm still working at it.
Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!
My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.
Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!
My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.
Showing posts with label coffee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coffee. Show all posts
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Sunday Running!
8am rolled around pretty darn early for me, given my usual standard of sleeping on weekends. I know that I am going to be shattered tonight early since I didn't sleep well or for very long last night. BUT... I still got up and went to my run. YAY!
It was cool but the sky was blue already. My "group" was waiting for me when I arrived (bad me, I won't be late again I hate keeping people waiting) and we set out. 10 sets of 1min jogging and 2 minutes walking. With 2min of walking to start and finishing with about 10min of walking to our starting point. It was once again, quite enjoyable.
Katie, I'm not too sure where all these places are - but I run (and they have walking clinics too) through a store called The Running Room. They have a great website and are all over Canada and the US. The program is a Learn2Run - giving us the slow start, basics of care for your body, equipment and of course, a person to run you who keeps time and motivates everyone to keep going. I know that there are other similar things through other running stores, you should have a look in your area!
Our "instructor" is a 40year old lady who has been recovering from a massive car wreck in which she significant brain injury. She was telling us today about it on her run - it was inspirational to say the least. She had a 4 year old and 1 year old twins when she was hit on the hwy (without then in the car thank goodness) and was in a coma for 2 weeks. She then had to say in hospital for close to a year. She has weakness on her left side and had trouble with processing speech and speaking quickly, but is back in school and is totally mentally aware, not mentally slow, but slower speech.
Here is the kicker.... She is running her first half marathon in 3 weeks.
Wow. ummmmm My complains about being fat and not being able to run are pretty darn weak compared with recovering from something like that. She is a darling, very supportive and really keen to help everyone start on their running journey. She talked about how it helped her get motivated, move better. I really don't have any excuse that can stand up next to that.
The philosophy of their running is this. If you can not hold a conversation (slightly breathy) then you are running TOO HARD and you need to SLOW DOWN! I like that a lot. We also never leave anyone behind, if you are in front when the min run is done you walk back to the last person (although most of us never get that far ahead). The instructor runs with the slowest person so you are never alone running behind. Its a very supportive atmosphere that is conducive to enjoyment and the focus is on personal achievement instead of racing or trying to beat a time or other such nonsense.
Also, I can't believe how great I feel today, physically good, but also calm and really happy.
I bought groceries after the run and have the laundry half started/finished. I heaved all the food in the fridge when I got home (see picture). I'm going to be cooking and sorting into containers later into my little ziplocks and baggies, I'll post a post-organization fridge piccie too (for all you Fridge-P0rn loving perverts out there!)
1. Run. DONE - 3km
2. Groceries - DONE
3. Return movies - DONE (I even walked although I got another coffee!)
4. Clean kitchen
5. Laundry
6. Cooking and organizing food for lunches
7. Reading & Relaxing
Tena - becel is a marg here in Canada, not too sure if you can get it in the US. This is really quite nice actually. The link is to the one that I use (I have the lite one too) - it has extra virgin olive oil in it! Yum!
It was cool but the sky was blue already. My "group" was waiting for me when I arrived (bad me, I won't be late again I hate keeping people waiting) and we set out. 10 sets of 1min jogging and 2 minutes walking. With 2min of walking to start and finishing with about 10min of walking to our starting point. It was once again, quite enjoyable.
Katie, I'm not too sure where all these places are - but I run (and they have walking clinics too) through a store called The Running Room. They have a great website and are all over Canada and the US. The program is a Learn2Run - giving us the slow start, basics of care for your body, equipment and of course, a person to run you who keeps time and motivates everyone to keep going. I know that there are other similar things through other running stores, you should have a look in your area!
Our "instructor" is a 40year old lady who has been recovering from a massive car wreck in which she significant brain injury. She was telling us today about it on her run - it was inspirational to say the least. She had a 4 year old and 1 year old twins when she was hit on the hwy (without then in the car thank goodness) and was in a coma for 2 weeks. She then had to say in hospital for close to a year. She has weakness on her left side and had trouble with processing speech and speaking quickly, but is back in school and is totally mentally aware, not mentally slow, but slower speech.
Here is the kicker.... She is running her first half marathon in 3 weeks.
Wow. ummmmm My complains about being fat and not being able to run are pretty darn weak compared with recovering from something like that. She is a darling, very supportive and really keen to help everyone start on their running journey. She talked about how it helped her get motivated, move better. I really don't have any excuse that can stand up next to that.
The philosophy of their running is this. If you can not hold a conversation (slightly breathy) then you are running TOO HARD and you need to SLOW DOWN! I like that a lot. We also never leave anyone behind, if you are in front when the min run is done you walk back to the last person (although most of us never get that far ahead). The instructor runs with the slowest person so you are never alone running behind. Its a very supportive atmosphere that is conducive to enjoyment and the focus is on personal achievement instead of racing or trying to beat a time or other such nonsense.
Also, I can't believe how great I feel today, physically good, but also calm and really happy.
I bought groceries after the run and have the laundry half started/finished. I heaved all the food in the fridge when I got home (see picture). I'm going to be cooking and sorting into containers later into my little ziplocks and baggies, I'll post a post-organization fridge piccie too (for all you Fridge-P0rn loving perverts out there!)1. Run. DONE - 3km
2. Groceries - DONE
3. Return movies - DONE (I even walked although I got another coffee!)
4. Clean kitchen
5. Laundry
6. Cooking and organizing food for lunches
7. Reading & Relaxing
Tena - becel is a marg here in Canada, not too sure if you can get it in the US. This is really quite nice actually. The link is to the one that I use (I have the lite one too) - it has extra virgin olive oil in it! Yum!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Jiggly Butt
Last Friday was my first "real" run outside and it was pretty darn good actually. I did feel a little like the class clown, I have to remind myself not to be too loud in our group sessions pre-run. lol I got the evils from the instructor! oops!
We ran 1min segments and walked for 2minutes between 7 times and covered 3km. I'm not panting, sweating or heaving by any stretch, this is a very gentle slow moving course that builds gradually, but its still great for the mind and the body. I really wanted to start off slow and enjoy myself! Which I am.
Tonight's run was a "training" run and our little band of runners met up and did our 7 sets of "1 and 2's" with some walking for warm up and cool down at either end. I have to say, it was perhaps the most pleasant way to end a day of work. Plus its nicer to be in a group of slow moving "runner" so that you don't stand out all alone with people zipping by you. Ah, safety in numbers. :) Plus I hid in the middle so that no one running up on us can see my jiggly butt!
Food today was 50/50.
Bfast:
1c almond milk
1med coffee with cream
1 protein powder, flax seed and 1/2c whole oats
Lunch (early at 11.40am):
starter green salad (lovely mix) with 1T blue cheese dressing
1 burger with fries
Snack1:
1 protein bar (post run)
Dinner:
large bowl mixed greens
1/2 green apple
3oz Stilton
2T red onion
6oz turkey breast
6 Raincoast Crisps (cranberry & pecan)
Snack2:
unsure....we'll see if I need anything tonight or not.
I have to say that pre-lunch I was hungry - but I didn't even feel like nibbling on anything this afternoon after my big lunch. Not even before my run. YAY!
Water - still not great 1.5L so far and I need to get another at least 1L in me before bed.
Today was also TREAT DAY at the office. I wasn't even remotely tempted... that was a total non-scale victory for me. I didn't go in and ogle the donuts, sniff them, take one and throw it out. In fact, I got the "treats are here" email and promptly forgot all about it.
Not a bad mid-week day. Tomorrow...packed lunch and MORE WATER.
We ran 1min segments and walked for 2minutes between 7 times and covered 3km. I'm not panting, sweating or heaving by any stretch, this is a very gentle slow moving course that builds gradually, but its still great for the mind and the body. I really wanted to start off slow and enjoy myself! Which I am.
Tonight's run was a "training" run and our little band of runners met up and did our 7 sets of "1 and 2's" with some walking for warm up and cool down at either end. I have to say, it was perhaps the most pleasant way to end a day of work. Plus its nicer to be in a group of slow moving "runner" so that you don't stand out all alone with people zipping by you. Ah, safety in numbers. :) Plus I hid in the middle so that no one running up on us can see my jiggly butt!
Food today was 50/50.
Bfast:
1c almond milk
1med coffee with cream
1 protein powder, flax seed and 1/2c whole oats
Lunch (early at 11.40am):starter green salad (lovely mix) with 1T blue cheese dressing
1 burger with fries
Snack1:
1 protein bar (post run)
Dinner:
large bowl mixed greens
1/2 green apple
3oz Stilton
2T red onion
6oz turkey breast
6 Raincoast Crisps (cranberry & pecan)
Snack2:
unsure....we'll see if I need anything tonight or not.
I have to say that pre-lunch I was hungry - but I didn't even feel like nibbling on anything this afternoon after my big lunch. Not even before my run. YAY!
Water - still not great 1.5L so far and I need to get another at least 1L in me before bed.
Today was also TREAT DAY at the office. I wasn't even remotely tempted... that was a total non-scale victory for me. I didn't go in and ogle the donuts, sniff them, take one and throw it out. In fact, I got the "treats are here" email and promptly forgot all about it.
Not a bad mid-week day. Tomorrow...packed lunch and MORE WATER.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Back in the groove!
My little holiday passed in an eye blink and here I am back in working land and hating life! Today was a nightmare and it made me wonder why the hell I even went away on holidays if this is what its going to be like on return! It really should be called a work deferral program and not a holiday. I had to do 3 hours of overtime to get ahead to go away and now I'm staring down the barrel of another 5hours to attempt to get caught up.
Anyhoooo. that's the glass half empty review. The great news is that I had a wonderful rest, got to sleep in, relax and enjoy myself totally. *wink wink nudge nudge* know what I mean! Regardless of my weight... one mans "side show" is another mans "Disneyland"! HAHA!
We actually ate pretty darn well. We made our own breakfasts, did some deli style shopping for rich savory foods and enjoyed them in smaller quantities. Had at least 2 home made meals a day and snacked pretty good.
Dim Sum - the "exotic" stuff like coriander & lime squid, mushrooms wraped in tofu, Chinese broccoli with oyster sauce....NO dumplings! Okay... red bean buns for afters! I do love me red bean paste!
Stilton and peppered duck breast salad - home made with fresh greens, and some great cheese and duck from the fine cheese shop. It was lovely - avocado, duck, walnuts, Stilton and apple on greens with oil&vinegar dressing. LURVLEY
Oat pancakes with honey and strawberries - oatmeal, BP2, flax seeds, little bit o flour, eggs whites, almond milk mixed up and straight into the non stick pan. A bit of local honey on top with some fresh strawberries cut on the side. Beautiful.
ButterNutSquash mac&cheese - movie night and comfort food. We even made a special little pot of it with some Stilton in, and a salad of greens and tomato with a green mustard vinaigrette. Total indulgence without a million calories.
I had too many coffee&creams out, I had tim-bits and movie theater popcorn (I KNOW its sooo bad for you, but its sooo damn good), we had sticky buns and noodles too and even a couple of meals with a dessert after. But we split the treats/desserts and I enjoyed it more. I made more thoughtful choices and the hubby was really supportive of eating our own foods and not always requesting the "bad" foods. I bought a small baggies of little candy covered chocolate eggs (yay Easter!) and we split it. It actually struck me as strange since I hadn't bought a store chocolate like that in ...well.... months!
I didn't do great on water - I'm suffering for it now still. We tried, but its harder to think about it when you are not sitting next to a big glass of water all day. But, such is life.
So...now for the numbers. I didn't do my inches and .... I'm not going to (LAZY!....SCARED!!) but I did weight in this morning at 272.2lbs.
That's a .2lbs gain over my holiday. WOOHOOO!!!
I'm really pretty pleased. :) Anyway - tomorrow is a running night and I'll tell ya about my running course when I get in tomorrow.
now....to perv on all the people!!!
Anyhoooo. that's the glass half empty review. The great news is that I had a wonderful rest, got to sleep in, relax and enjoy myself totally. *wink wink nudge nudge* know what I mean! Regardless of my weight... one mans "side show" is another mans "Disneyland"! HAHA!
We actually ate pretty darn well. We made our own breakfasts, did some deli style shopping for rich savory foods and enjoyed them in smaller quantities. Had at least 2 home made meals a day and snacked pretty good.
Dim Sum - the "exotic" stuff like coriander & lime squid, mushrooms wraped in tofu, Chinese broccoli with oyster sauce....NO dumplings! Okay... red bean buns for afters! I do love me red bean paste!
Stilton and peppered duck breast salad - home made with fresh greens, and some great cheese and duck from the fine cheese shop. It was lovely - avocado, duck, walnuts, Stilton and apple on greens with oil&vinegar dressing. LURVLEY
Oat pancakes with honey and strawberries - oatmeal, BP2, flax seeds, little bit o flour, eggs whites, almond milk mixed up and straight into the non stick pan. A bit of local honey on top with some fresh strawberries cut on the side. Beautiful.
ButterNutSquash mac&cheese - movie night and comfort food. We even made a special little pot of it with some Stilton in, and a salad of greens and tomato with a green mustard vinaigrette. Total indulgence without a million calories.
I had too many coffee&creams out, I had tim-bits and movie theater popcorn (I KNOW its sooo bad for you, but its sooo damn good), we had sticky buns and noodles too and even a couple of meals with a dessert after. But we split the treats/desserts and I enjoyed it more. I made more thoughtful choices and the hubby was really supportive of eating our own foods and not always requesting the "bad" foods. I bought a small baggies of little candy covered chocolate eggs (yay Easter!) and we split it. It actually struck me as strange since I hadn't bought a store chocolate like that in ...well.... months!
I didn't do great on water - I'm suffering for it now still. We tried, but its harder to think about it when you are not sitting next to a big glass of water all day. But, such is life.
So...now for the numbers. I didn't do my inches and .... I'm not going to (LAZY!....SCARED!!) but I did weight in this morning at 272.2lbs.
That's a .2lbs gain over my holiday. WOOHOOO!!!
I'm really pretty pleased. :) Anyway - tomorrow is a running night and I'll tell ya about my running course when I get in tomorrow.
now....to perv on all the people!!!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Saturday activities
I've been giving this fat exorcism a go all day today! Be gone Fat Devil!!! *makes the sign of a fat cell over my belly*Well after a good sleep last night (albeit too late into the Saturday morning *cough* noon), I got motivated and dressed after my bfast to go to the gym. 1hour5min on the treadmill and then a good stretch. I made a list while eating of all the things that I needed to get done and ... I did them ALL!
Now for tomorrows list...must get that done after I post this.
Gym was good - 1hour and a 5min cooldown on the treadmill. Loving my new runners. 10min walk warmup, 10min jog @ 3.6, 1min walk @2.8, 10min jog @3.6, 1min walk @ 3.0, 10min jog at 3.6(last two min were at 3.8, then the rest was walking at various speeds.
Ate my orange post workout and then off to Timmies for a early afternoon snack before heading out for my shopping and errands. Which I managed quite a few. Filled up on gas, went to the running room and registered a friend who is going to come on the clinic with me (weeee!!!).
Off to the shops for a new memory foam mattress cover, picked up a new shower curtain and some odds and sods for the house. I had a gift certificate for Chapers books - so I went over there to perv on books and to pick up the 3rd and 4th book in the George R.R. Martin Songs of Ice and Fire series (Storm of Swords and Feast for Crows.. I am a fantasy book super geek...so I don't know how I missed this series). I also enjoyed a coffee and a ginger cookie while wandering in book-heaven (and spying on people around me to see what they are reading!).
Then home to finish the most important part of today - my second workout....Housework!! I know that I needed to get a lot of the messy bits that are hanging about and cluttering up my mind, and boy did I get a lot done:
1. 3 loads of laundry including linens - made new bag with foam mattress;
2. Took out all garbage bins, empties, new bags in;
3. Hung new shower curtain, threw out old;
4. Cleaned toilet;
5. Organized recycling;
6. Dishes in the sink set to soak for later washing in dishwasher;
7. Dusted through the house;
8. Swept kitchen, hall and bathroom; and
9. Mopped kitchen, hall and bathroom (half by hand!).
Now I've heated up my dinner from last night -what I like to call my "posh dog food". I'm feeling much better about life in general, but also my struggles this last few weeks. I have some grocery shopping to do tomorrow and my food prep again. I'm all out of fruits and green veggies so I have to replenish the fruit bowl.
I also want to say thank you to all who commented, I've been bad about reading on everyone elses blogs (for motivation) and posting comments other then lots of "woohoos" and "good jobs" (man I suck hard at commenting). I think that I'll have more to contribute this coming week. so....Heres to fighting the evil fat!!
Water: 1.5L right now - I have another 1.5L that I will get through before bed.
Bfast:1 pot activia yogurt
2 small slices rye bread
1T cashew nutbutter
1tsp strawberry jam
Snack1:
lrg orange
Snack2:
12 grain bagel
2T lite creamcheese
Snack3:
1 med skim milk half sweet mocha (NO WHIP!!!!!)
1 lrg ginger cookie
Snack4:
5 almonds
Dinner:
1c mixed wild rice
2c Tamzin's "Posh Dogfood"
1 pot yogurt
2 kiwi fruits
Posh Dog Food is:
1 yellow onion diced roughly
1 package Extra lean ground turkey
1/2 bag mixed frozen veg (carrots, corn, peas and beans)
1 package of taco seasoning
It freezes great - is tasty, and great for over rice in your lunch!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Cheat to Win?
Today is going to be a good day - I've decided that already. Strange the power and lack of power that I can be given with just my mind. Yesterday, I decided to cheat, and so I did. Today, I know that I won't as I have already made up my mind on it.
Yesterdays non-office cookie eating victory was shallow when compared with the lack of restraint I showed with the rest of my daily choices. I have to keep looking back and remembering what my habits used to be like... and that I am moving in the right direction and that it IS making a difference. My dinner guest last night was totally astounded with how much "weight I'd lost". Its really not the weight lost that is so great - its the 7 inches that have been craved off my frame. :) But I'll take any compliment that I can get at the moment.
I got up this morning and threw the rest of the cookies that I had purchased yesterday, in the garbage. They were $1.99. I'm going to say that I enjoyed the cookies that I ate yesterday at least 3x as much as the cost. And now, I've thrown away the other cookies that would have put me in the red in terms of cost to my goals. So, good deal!
I'm still doing LOTS of things wrong. I'm still trying to cheat to win... like I'm trying to convince myself that "I want my cake, and I want to eat it too" attitude is justified. The sneaky feeling that I can still have the treats that I "want" and get to the goal that I "want". Eventually, there is going to be a time where one of those two wants is going to have to hit the road... in the past, its been the goal.
"I'm big boned, I'm not designed to be thin, Genetics, this is good enough"... ad nausium.... All the things that I tell myself to lose track of what I want. I have to say - that until I saw this blogger I NEVER believed that anyone who looks like me would ever be able to get to look like this. She is done most of her journey, and is more maintaining now - but she is the same height and was near the same starting weight. Her weight loss both inspires and scared me to death... it CAN be done!!! omg... it can be done... but CAN I DO IT???
Why can't I give up the morning mocha's?? Why did I have to have 2 servings of pumpkin custard when I would have enjoyed one?? I guess, I'm asking questions that I'm not able to answer yet. Mentally or even physically. But the good part is that I'm starting to question myself. I've had a few great moments where I've thought that I needed to eat, but instead listened to my body and realized that I was not hungry. What a strange and wonderful feeling that is.
Yesterdays non-office cookie eating victory was shallow when compared with the lack of restraint I showed with the rest of my daily choices. I have to keep looking back and remembering what my habits used to be like... and that I am moving in the right direction and that it IS making a difference. My dinner guest last night was totally astounded with how much "weight I'd lost". Its really not the weight lost that is so great - its the 7 inches that have been craved off my frame. :) But I'll take any compliment that I can get at the moment.
I got up this morning and threw the rest of the cookies that I had purchased yesterday, in the garbage. They were $1.99. I'm going to say that I enjoyed the cookies that I ate yesterday at least 3x as much as the cost. And now, I've thrown away the other cookies that would have put me in the red in terms of cost to my goals. So, good deal!
I'm still doing LOTS of things wrong. I'm still trying to cheat to win... like I'm trying to convince myself that "I want my cake, and I want to eat it too" attitude is justified. The sneaky feeling that I can still have the treats that I "want" and get to the goal that I "want". Eventually, there is going to be a time where one of those two wants is going to have to hit the road... in the past, its been the goal.
"I'm big boned, I'm not designed to be thin, Genetics, this is good enough"... ad nausium.... All the things that I tell myself to lose track of what I want. I have to say - that until I saw this blogger I NEVER believed that anyone who looks like me would ever be able to get to look like this. She is done most of her journey, and is more maintaining now - but she is the same height and was near the same starting weight. Her weight loss both inspires and scared me to death... it CAN be done!!! omg... it can be done... but CAN I DO IT???
Why can't I give up the morning mocha's?? Why did I have to have 2 servings of pumpkin custard when I would have enjoyed one?? I guess, I'm asking questions that I'm not able to answer yet. Mentally or even physically. But the good part is that I'm starting to question myself. I've had a few great moments where I've thought that I needed to eat, but instead listened to my body and realized that I was not hungry. What a strange and wonderful feeling that is.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Walking With Dinosaurs...
***narrators voice over*** The Tamasaurus Rex stalks through the frozen tundra, leaving deep tracks in the icy snow. Stopping the exhausted Tamasaurus's head swings into the wind, and sniffs - it carries the sent of fresh muffins and coffee - she opens her gaping maw and bellows. Nothing is more dangerous in this land then the hungry Tamasaurus, a brutal creature that will stop at nothing for caffeine.****cut scene****
Be afraid people... very afraid!
7.7km... the last 3.5 were tough, it was unploughed walking - so lots of snow to get through and its getting softer as the weather starts to walk up, so not walking so much as slogging, like walking in mud. Let me tell you, my legs are feeling it today and tomorrow is going to be worse! But also good. :D
Eating today has been very random. I have it all in my head, but we'll see what it looks like when I type it out here.....since I've not been keeping track physically all day as I typically do when I'm at the office.
Bfast:
orange (86)
handful of almonds (69)
kashi peanut bar (120)
kashi cherry&choc bar (120)
Snack1:
peach/oatmeal muffin (250)
Snack2:
lrg mochachino with (lite)whip (150)
lrg rice crispy square (360)
Lunch:
vegetarian sammich on whole wheat pumpkin bread (cream cheese with cucumber, sprouts, lettuce, tomato, & pickles) (240)
Dinner:
1cup coconut rice (190)
6oz steak in a Crying Tiger Thai very spicy dish (also had about 8slices of cucumber in it) (350)
2 cookies (260)
1/2 can diet pepsi (1)
Snack3:
1 pot apple sauce (45)
Total calories: 1771
I decided to write this post since I'm actually hungry right now (ate some apple sauce see: snack3)- I wanted to write it out and see what I've had and how much I've had today. I haven't counted calories in a LONG time... over a month - but I thought that today would be a good time to have a quick look to see how I'm doing. Interesting.
When I started counting calories I did the first week where I just wrote what I ate and didn't try to restrict, I just wanted to see what I was consuming... its was over 3,000 a day. I made a sheet to track it all in excel and started lowering the calories that I was eating.... to 2,800, then 2,500... the 2,200. I remember thinking that there would never be a day when I would be able to sustain myself on under 2,000 calories a day. The last while I think that I've been eating around 1,700 - 2,100. Which is actually in the neighborhood that I should be in at the moment.
Water - Excellent for a weekend. I've had 3L already and I'm drinking more right now.
Annoying to note that my rice crispy quare was more calories then my giant steak dish. Arg. That was one thing that I didn't need but I'm so jonesing for sugar these days I don't know what the hell is going on. :( Still not enough greens....let be honest. A pretty shite day for well rounded and nutritious meals.
Tomorrow will be better.
Be afraid people... very afraid!
7.7km... the last 3.5 were tough, it was unploughed walking - so lots of snow to get through and its getting softer as the weather starts to walk up, so not walking so much as slogging, like walking in mud. Let me tell you, my legs are feeling it today and tomorrow is going to be worse! But also good. :D
Eating today has been very random. I have it all in my head, but we'll see what it looks like when I type it out here.....since I've not been keeping track physically all day as I typically do when I'm at the office.
Bfast:
orange (86)
handful of almonds (69)
kashi peanut bar (120)
kashi cherry&choc bar (120)
Snack1:
peach/oatmeal muffin (250)
Snack2:
lrg mochachino with (lite)whip (150)
lrg rice crispy square (360)
Lunch:
vegetarian sammich on whole wheat pumpkin bread (cream cheese with cucumber, sprouts, lettuce, tomato, & pickles) (240)
Dinner:
1cup coconut rice (190)
6oz steak in a Crying Tiger Thai very spicy dish (also had about 8slices of cucumber in it) (350)
2 cookies (260)
1/2 can diet pepsi (1)
Snack3:
1 pot apple sauce (45)
Total calories: 1771
I decided to write this post since I'm actually hungry right now (ate some apple sauce see: snack3)- I wanted to write it out and see what I've had and how much I've had today. I haven't counted calories in a LONG time... over a month - but I thought that today would be a good time to have a quick look to see how I'm doing. Interesting.
When I started counting calories I did the first week where I just wrote what I ate and didn't try to restrict, I just wanted to see what I was consuming... its was over 3,000 a day. I made a sheet to track it all in excel and started lowering the calories that I was eating.... to 2,800, then 2,500... the 2,200. I remember thinking that there would never be a day when I would be able to sustain myself on under 2,000 calories a day. The last while I think that I've been eating around 1,700 - 2,100. Which is actually in the neighborhood that I should be in at the moment.
Water - Excellent for a weekend. I've had 3L already and I'm drinking more right now.
Annoying to note that my rice crispy quare was more calories then my giant steak dish. Arg. That was one thing that I didn't need but I'm so jonesing for sugar these days I don't know what the hell is going on. :( Still not enough greens....let be honest. A pretty shite day for well rounded and nutritious meals.
Tomorrow will be better.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
I did IT!
Last night - I still went to bed too late (but earlier then my usual), BUT... I slept 8 hours and woke up rested... BEFORE my alarm. YAY!!
Bfast:
1 med banana, 1 Cherry/dark chocolate kashi bar & 8 Almonds
1 venti 1/2 sweet skim milk mocha latte (no whip)
Lunch:
1 egg, 1/2c egg whites, 1c spinach, 1/8 yellow onion, 1c mixed veg (red peppers, snow peas, baby corn, waterchestnuts & carrot, 2 oz low fat Swiss cheese, 1 slice deli ham
1 whole grain wrap toasted, 1/2c salsa
Snack 1:
3/4c mixed nuts & 20 small corn tortia chips (rest of bag was crushed to dust before I scarfed the whole lot of them)
Water:
1.2L ... not good enough... struggling to get it all in.
Dinner: 1 whole grain wrap, 1 can tuna in water, 1/8 red onion minced, 8 snap pes chopped, 1 tsp lite mayo, 1/2 large tomato, salt&peper to taste. I wasn't in the mood for hot food.
Exercise for today - edit:: Grocery store was 12min walk - there and back was 24min, spent about 20min wandering and picking my stuff. All in all, not heart pumping, but enjoyable and I got out and streached my legs. The back pack was pretty heavy on the way home! :)
I need to get my weekly fruits and veg. I'm not eating much fruit at the moment, but I'm not really craving fruits - not too sure if that is due to the weather and cold. I read (somewhere a while ago) that the body craves winter veg in the winter and summer fruits in the summer. This could be why I'm lusting after the butternut squash and spinach so much... I suppose that this makes sense... or I could just be a total weirdo?? (you are not obligated to confirm or deny that! haha).
Today I'm going to get some really savory things (that are likely more expensive then I would like), but I'm not going to get "healthy snacks" that I'll let rot on my counter top. I've been buying kiwis and letting them go to waste for the last month, fug...there is no need to let $10 of kiwis go bad while not getting something else that I would eat.
I've also run out of my oatmeal "packages" so time to make my own. I have a bag of oats, protein powder, ground flax seeds that I'm going to measure into my little baggies for homemade breakfast packs. Only think is that they need to stay in the fridge as the flax is cold pressed variety. But I should be able to find room for them in my fridge.... perhaps a fridge piccie is in order for this evening!
edit:: Miz! Here is what I did. 1/2c large flake oats, 1 heaping T vanilla protein powder (myoplex), and 1T ground flax. These are now living in the door of the fridge in handy grabing range for the mornings.
Bfast:
1 med banana, 1 Cherry/dark chocolate kashi bar & 8 Almonds
1 venti 1/2 sweet skim milk mocha latte (no whip)
Lunch:
1 egg, 1/2c egg whites, 1c spinach, 1/8 yellow onion, 1c mixed veg (red peppers, snow peas, baby corn, waterchestnuts & carrot, 2 oz low fat Swiss cheese, 1 slice deli ham
1 whole grain wrap toasted, 1/2c salsa
Snack 1:
3/4c mixed nuts & 20 small corn tortia chips (rest of bag was crushed to dust before I scarfed the whole lot of them)
Water:
1.2L ... not good enough... struggling to get it all in.
Dinner: 1 whole grain wrap, 1 can tuna in water, 1/8 red onion minced, 8 snap pes chopped, 1 tsp lite mayo, 1/2 large tomato, salt&peper to taste. I wasn't in the mood for hot food.
Exercise for today - edit:: Grocery store was 12min walk - there and back was 24min, spent about 20min wandering and picking my stuff. All in all, not heart pumping, but enjoyable and I got out and streached my legs. The back pack was pretty heavy on the way home! :)
I need to get my weekly fruits and veg. I'm not eating much fruit at the moment, but I'm not really craving fruits - not too sure if that is due to the weather and cold. I read (somewhere a while ago) that the body craves winter veg in the winter and summer fruits in the summer. This could be why I'm lusting after the butternut squash and spinach so much... I suppose that this makes sense... or I could just be a total weirdo?? (you are not obligated to confirm or deny that! haha).
Today I'm going to get some really savory things (that are likely more expensive then I would like), but I'm not going to get "healthy snacks" that I'll let rot on my counter top. I've been buying kiwis and letting them go to waste for the last month, fug...there is no need to let $10 of kiwis go bad while not getting something else that I would eat.
I've also run out of my oatmeal "packages" so time to make my own. I have a bag of oats, protein powder, ground flax seeds that I'm going to measure into my little baggies for homemade breakfast packs. Only think is that they need to stay in the fridge as the flax is cold pressed variety. But I should be able to find room for them in my fridge.... perhaps a fridge piccie is in order for this evening!
edit:: Miz! Here is what I did. 1/2c large flake oats, 1 heaping T vanilla protein powder (myoplex), and 1T ground flax. These are now living in the door of the fridge in handy grabing range for the mornings.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Monkey Say ... Monkey Do
I was out getting my morning coffee at the local Starbucks...I use the word "morning" in the loosest sense of the word as it was 1.30 is the afternoon, and I started thinking about the difference between saying and doing.
What sparked this was while waiting in line (at every Starbucks that I have been too - and that's a LOT (from Seattle (mecca of coffee) to TX to Hawaii, just about every stinking province in Canada, England, Ireland, Wales & Scotland) - and even though Mr.K hates Starbucks I must be caffeinated each morning or things will get ugly fast), you have to stand next to the tempting, tasty, sugar filled, very sexy cookies, cakes, donuts, fudge bars, scones etc etc. In my 2min wait to order, I thought about eating eat one of these bad boys and did a significant amount of mental math on how I was going to work a "low fat" scone (HAR HAR low fat).
The (normal sized) man in front of me fell for the temptation...and I got to witness the conversation:
Man - I'll have the choco-chunk cookie
Barista - one or two cookies?
Man - one please
Barista - the white chocolate one or the double chocolate one?
Man - oh, well....
Barista - they are BOTH very good ((Barista gesturing over the cookies seductively))
Man - alright then one of each
Barista - no problem sir, would you like me to apply these directly to your ass for you?
...oh, that last bit only I heard.
I got my weekend treat - venti half sweet skim milk mocha latte without whip. That is treat enough and as it stands, more then I should be having!
This little adventure got me thinking about what I'm saying and what I'm doing. Also my post regarding my friend and the butternut squash incident. I'm pretty close to being hypocritical, if not past that line already since I spout off about how I'm doing better and changing (I am - but I'm letting some things slide).
There are a number of things that I am doing that are really REALLY counterproductive to my goals here:
I have not been exercising for at least three weeks now;
I've only just started trying to get more water in me; and
chiefly, lack of Sleep.
A typical night for me M-F is into bed at 12.30-1.30am and wake up is 7am and I'm at the office at anywhere between 8 and 8.30 (well 8 is the start time, but there have been whole months where I have not showed up to work "on time" once and I NEVER have time to blow dry my hair....woolly hat to work if its cold!).
I use my weekends as "sleep catch up". Its not uncommon for me to sleep to noon or 1pm on Saturday and until 11 on a Sunday. The MOST sleep that I will get on a weekday is 7 hours and that's if I lay in for an extra couple of snooze hits. Not the best quality for sure, typically getting about 5.5 - 6.5 hours of sleep a night. Not good enough.
I know that getting more/better sleep does a body good, especially if you are trying to "lose weight". Staying up late is a terrible habit and I need to break it. I have done some reading on it and I'm going to make a new month goal.
For January, I'm going to make it my mission to get +8 hours of sleep a night.
Two hormones that signal the appetite, in opposing methods, may explain why we overeat when we under-sleep:
Shortage of sleep lowers levels of leptin, a hormone that suppresses the appetite. When leptin levels are depleted, the body thinks it needs food, when in fact, adequate amounts of food may already have been consumed.
Another hormone, ghrelin, sparks the appetite. Research has shown that insufficient sleep elevates levels of ghrelin, making you hungry.
So there you go, I need to feed my body the good food (check), water it adequately (check) and let it rest and recover. ...nope.... Magic? Nope. Common Sense? Yes. Can I do it? I can, but I'm going to have to work at it. But some things are work working hard for, I think Mr.K would agree that I'm one of them.
What sparked this was while waiting in line (at every Starbucks that I have been too - and that's a LOT (from Seattle (mecca of coffee) to TX to Hawaii, just about every stinking province in Canada, England, Ireland, Wales & Scotland) - and even though Mr.K hates Starbucks I must be caffeinated each morning or things will get ugly fast), you have to stand next to the tempting, tasty, sugar filled, very sexy cookies, cakes, donuts, fudge bars, scones etc etc. In my 2min wait to order, I thought about eating eat one of these bad boys and did a significant amount of mental math on how I was going to work a "low fat" scone (HAR HAR low fat).
The (normal sized) man in front of me fell for the temptation...and I got to witness the conversation:
Man - I'll have the choco-chunk cookie
Barista - one or two cookies?
Man - one please
Barista - the white chocolate one or the double chocolate one?
Man - oh, well....
Barista - they are BOTH very good ((Barista gesturing over the cookies seductively))
Man - alright then one of each
Barista - no problem sir, would you like me to apply these directly to your ass for you?
...oh, that last bit only I heard.
I got my weekend treat - venti half sweet skim milk mocha latte without whip. That is treat enough and as it stands, more then I should be having!
This little adventure got me thinking about what I'm saying and what I'm doing. Also my post regarding my friend and the butternut squash incident. I'm pretty close to being hypocritical, if not past that line already since I spout off about how I'm doing better and changing (I am - but I'm letting some things slide).
There are a number of things that I am doing that are really REALLY counterproductive to my goals here:
I have not been exercising for at least three weeks now;
I've only just started trying to get more water in me; and
chiefly, lack of Sleep.
A typical night for me M-F is into bed at 12.30-1.30am and wake up is 7am and I'm at the office at anywhere between 8 and 8.30 (well 8 is the start time, but there have been whole months where I have not showed up to work "on time" once and I NEVER have time to blow dry my hair....woolly hat to work if its cold!).
I use my weekends as "sleep catch up". Its not uncommon for me to sleep to noon or 1pm on Saturday and until 11 on a Sunday. The MOST sleep that I will get on a weekday is 7 hours and that's if I lay in for an extra couple of snooze hits. Not the best quality for sure, typically getting about 5.5 - 6.5 hours of sleep a night. Not good enough.
I know that getting more/better sleep does a body good, especially if you are trying to "lose weight". Staying up late is a terrible habit and I need to break it. I have done some reading on it and I'm going to make a new month goal.
For January, I'm going to make it my mission to get +8 hours of sleep a night.
Two hormones that signal the appetite, in opposing methods, may explain why we overeat when we under-sleep:
Shortage of sleep lowers levels of leptin, a hormone that suppresses the appetite. When leptin levels are depleted, the body thinks it needs food, when in fact, adequate amounts of food may already have been consumed.
Another hormone, ghrelin, sparks the appetite. Research has shown that insufficient sleep elevates levels of ghrelin, making you hungry.
So there you go, I need to feed my body the good food (check), water it adequately (check) and let it rest and recover. ...nope.... Magic? Nope. Common Sense? Yes. Can I do it? I can, but I'm going to have to work at it. But some things are work working hard for, I think Mr.K would agree that I'm one of them.
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