Right. Cravings busted. *karate chop*
Actually - its not even cravings it.... like my fat being greedy. I want. I don't need. I'm going to punch that inner fat kid in the face next time I'm tempted.
Water: 3L and counting. woot! Another great side effect of this is that it gets me up and out of my chair at the office for more bathroom breaks.
Food today:
MFF Mix n' Mash - 370
coffee - 2
cream- 90
MFF Choc Almond pattie - 420
MFF Kickn' Talapia - 370
Blackberry Liberte Greek yogurt- 250
Small Peach - 55
MFF Americano - 490
2 Tbsp HP sauce - 40
Totals: 2087
Ideal Totals: 2090
Difference: -3
BS: 1 (for a small but important rant)
Today was good, work was busy. I felt like I was sucking hind teat all day. Need to get some more sleep tonight, and I'm going to have a great long hot bath after I watch Biggest Loser. Husband is away with work tonight, so I will have lots of room to spread out in bed tonight.
Tomorrow is blood donation day, so I'm likely going to go over on my calories as I'm going to need some juice to get me going. I'm stopping to get some POM tomorrow. I love that stuff and its not too bad for you.
Ahhhhhhhh. Time for dinner!!
Welcome
Thank you for stopping by to perv on my blog, as I fight myself to change my old habits and make new ones to get fit. I don't get it right all the time, but I'm still here and I'm still working at it.
Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!
My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.
Tamzins Double Dog Dare You Ticker!
My homage to the 14lbs that I lost on Allan’s DDDY Challenges. A watering can for the vast oceans of water that I have learned to drink and love every day.
Showing posts with label eating clean. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eating clean. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
DDDY challenge - day 1
Todays logging for the DDDY Challenge.
Water: 2.5L and counting
Food and Calories:
MFF Good Morning Sunshine - 330
coffee - 2
cream - 90
MFF Happy Apple pattie - 350
MFF Marios Marine Mash - 450
Walnut & Prune Liberte greek yogurt - 250
Apple - 116
4 Magic Pop - 60
MFF Atlantic Salmon - 430
Total: 2078
Ideal Total: 2090
Difference: -12
BS: Zero!
Water: 2.5L and counting
Food and Calories:
MFF Good Morning Sunshine - 330
coffee - 2
cream - 90
MFF Happy Apple pattie - 350
MFF Marios Marine Mash - 450
Walnut & Prune Liberte greek yogurt - 250
Apple - 116
4 Magic Pop - 60
MFF Atlantic Salmon - 430
Total: 2078
Ideal Total: 2090
Difference: -12
BS: Zero!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
BNS Ravioli
Very Productive Saturday.
Managed to do a LOT of clearing up today. My hubby is a pack rat and it drives me nuts... probably as nuts as it makes him watching me throw stuff out. HAHA!
Ate very well today, quite pleased with myself. Finished off the day with a trip to the grocery store where I caved and got a package of Pretzel M&M's. They are my default treat. 150 calories, crunchy, sweet, chocolate...perfect. I made myself eat them one at a time...instead of dumping the bag into my waiting gob and eating the lot in about 2.2 seconds.
Tonight's dinner I crafted from the Clean Eating magazine. Butternut Squash Ravioli. Well. more like BNS wontons, as you use wonton wrappers for the "pasta". They were amazing, however I'm a huge fan of squash.
There were 52 in the package. About 11 died trying to make it through the cooking process...exploded/ripped etc. They cook in boiling water for about 3 min.
Todays food:
MFF Oatmeal
Blackberry Liberte
1 venti coffee & cream
MFF Killa Chili
4 Magic Pops
MFF Apple Pancakes (shared with the man)
Half an orange
Kashi Pumpkin Pecan bar
Pretzel M&M's
3/4c Marinara w/ sausage (322.5)
15 BNS Raviolis (152)
1/2c peas
Totals:
Calories 2034.5
Fats: 70.4
Carbs: 456.3
Proteins:123.3
Bit of a carbo-bomb day, but yesterday I was low on them. Still under my calories by 65, but...I'm stuffed! Early to bed. Tomorrow I'm planning a big walk!!!!
Managed to do a LOT of clearing up today. My hubby is a pack rat and it drives me nuts... probably as nuts as it makes him watching me throw stuff out. HAHA!
Ate very well today, quite pleased with myself. Finished off the day with a trip to the grocery store where I caved and got a package of Pretzel M&M's. They are my default treat. 150 calories, crunchy, sweet, chocolate...perfect. I made myself eat them one at a time...instead of dumping the bag into my waiting gob and eating the lot in about 2.2 seconds.
Tonight's dinner I crafted from the Clean Eating magazine. Butternut Squash Ravioli. Well. more like BNS wontons, as you use wonton wrappers for the "pasta". They were amazing, however I'm a huge fan of squash.
- Roast/Nuke (for 10min if you are me and too hungry to wait for 40min of roasting)
- Add 1.2 bag of chopped spinach
- Sauteed (in pam lite) small onion
- Add salt pepper and nutmeg to taste
- Mix it all together
- Fold a Tbsp on that into a premade wonton, wet edge, squeeze together and done.
There were 52 in the package. About 11 died trying to make it through the cooking process...exploded/ripped etc. They cook in boiling water for about 3 min.
- For the sauce, I cooked a hot Italian sausage (teehee), chopped that into some premade herb&garlic pasta sauce (so lazy!).
- The side was steamed peas.
Todays food:
MFF Oatmeal
Blackberry Liberte
1 venti coffee & cream
MFF Killa Chili
4 Magic Pops
MFF Apple Pancakes (shared with the man)
Half an orange
Kashi Pumpkin Pecan bar
Pretzel M&M's
3/4c Marinara w/ sausage (322.5)
15 BNS Raviolis (152)
1/2c peas
Totals:
Calories 2034.5
Fats: 70.4
Carbs: 456.3
Proteins:123.3
Bit of a carbo-bomb day, but yesterday I was low on them. Still under my calories by 65, but...I'm stuffed! Early to bed. Tomorrow I'm planning a big walk!!!!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Sunday Running!
8am rolled around pretty darn early for me, given my usual standard of sleeping on weekends. I know that I am going to be shattered tonight early since I didn't sleep well or for very long last night. BUT... I still got up and went to my run. YAY!
It was cool but the sky was blue already. My "group" was waiting for me when I arrived (bad me, I won't be late again I hate keeping people waiting) and we set out. 10 sets of 1min jogging and 2 minutes walking. With 2min of walking to start and finishing with about 10min of walking to our starting point. It was once again, quite enjoyable.
Katie, I'm not too sure where all these places are - but I run (and they have walking clinics too) through a store called The Running Room. They have a great website and are all over Canada and the US. The program is a Learn2Run - giving us the slow start, basics of care for your body, equipment and of course, a person to run you who keeps time and motivates everyone to keep going. I know that there are other similar things through other running stores, you should have a look in your area!
Our "instructor" is a 40year old lady who has been recovering from a massive car wreck in which she significant brain injury. She was telling us today about it on her run - it was inspirational to say the least. She had a 4 year old and 1 year old twins when she was hit on the hwy (without then in the car thank goodness) and was in a coma for 2 weeks. She then had to say in hospital for close to a year. She has weakness on her left side and had trouble with processing speech and speaking quickly, but is back in school and is totally mentally aware, not mentally slow, but slower speech.
Here is the kicker.... She is running her first half marathon in 3 weeks.
Wow. ummmmm My complains about being fat and not being able to run are pretty darn weak compared with recovering from something like that. She is a darling, very supportive and really keen to help everyone start on their running journey. She talked about how it helped her get motivated, move better. I really don't have any excuse that can stand up next to that.
The philosophy of their running is this. If you can not hold a conversation (slightly breathy) then you are running TOO HARD and you need to SLOW DOWN! I like that a lot. We also never leave anyone behind, if you are in front when the min run is done you walk back to the last person (although most of us never get that far ahead). The instructor runs with the slowest person so you are never alone running behind. Its a very supportive atmosphere that is conducive to enjoyment and the focus is on personal achievement instead of racing or trying to beat a time or other such nonsense.
Also, I can't believe how great I feel today, physically good, but also calm and really happy.
I bought groceries after the run and have the laundry half started/finished. I heaved all the food in the fridge when I got home (see picture). I'm going to be cooking and sorting into containers later into my little ziplocks and baggies, I'll post a post-organization fridge piccie too (for all you Fridge-P0rn loving perverts out there!)
1. Run. DONE - 3km
2. Groceries - DONE
3. Return movies - DONE (I even walked although I got another coffee!)
4. Clean kitchen
5. Laundry
6. Cooking and organizing food for lunches
7. Reading & Relaxing
Tena - becel is a marg here in Canada, not too sure if you can get it in the US. This is really quite nice actually. The link is to the one that I use (I have the lite one too) - it has extra virgin olive oil in it! Yum!
It was cool but the sky was blue already. My "group" was waiting for me when I arrived (bad me, I won't be late again I hate keeping people waiting) and we set out. 10 sets of 1min jogging and 2 minutes walking. With 2min of walking to start and finishing with about 10min of walking to our starting point. It was once again, quite enjoyable.
Katie, I'm not too sure where all these places are - but I run (and they have walking clinics too) through a store called The Running Room. They have a great website and are all over Canada and the US. The program is a Learn2Run - giving us the slow start, basics of care for your body, equipment and of course, a person to run you who keeps time and motivates everyone to keep going. I know that there are other similar things through other running stores, you should have a look in your area!
Our "instructor" is a 40year old lady who has been recovering from a massive car wreck in which she significant brain injury. She was telling us today about it on her run - it was inspirational to say the least. She had a 4 year old and 1 year old twins when she was hit on the hwy (without then in the car thank goodness) and was in a coma for 2 weeks. She then had to say in hospital for close to a year. She has weakness on her left side and had trouble with processing speech and speaking quickly, but is back in school and is totally mentally aware, not mentally slow, but slower speech.
Here is the kicker.... She is running her first half marathon in 3 weeks.
Wow. ummmmm My complains about being fat and not being able to run are pretty darn weak compared with recovering from something like that. She is a darling, very supportive and really keen to help everyone start on their running journey. She talked about how it helped her get motivated, move better. I really don't have any excuse that can stand up next to that.
The philosophy of their running is this. If you can not hold a conversation (slightly breathy) then you are running TOO HARD and you need to SLOW DOWN! I like that a lot. We also never leave anyone behind, if you are in front when the min run is done you walk back to the last person (although most of us never get that far ahead). The instructor runs with the slowest person so you are never alone running behind. Its a very supportive atmosphere that is conducive to enjoyment and the focus is on personal achievement instead of racing or trying to beat a time or other such nonsense.
Also, I can't believe how great I feel today, physically good, but also calm and really happy.
I bought groceries after the run and have the laundry half started/finished. I heaved all the food in the fridge when I got home (see picture). I'm going to be cooking and sorting into containers later into my little ziplocks and baggies, I'll post a post-organization fridge piccie too (for all you Fridge-P0rn loving perverts out there!)1. Run. DONE - 3km
2. Groceries - DONE
3. Return movies - DONE (I even walked although I got another coffee!)
4. Clean kitchen
5. Laundry
6. Cooking and organizing food for lunches
7. Reading & Relaxing
Tena - becel is a marg here in Canada, not too sure if you can get it in the US. This is really quite nice actually. The link is to the one that I use (I have the lite one too) - it has extra virgin olive oil in it! Yum!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
5 outa 10 today
I'm going to give today 5 stars out of 10.
Work was crap, umm more like extreme crap. But it is "work", they DO have to pay me to be there soooo there are going to be times that I'm not as jazzed about being there all the time.
Regardless my eating was better then yesterday - but I was so busy that I didn't get a chance to log my food and track my calories and I would have been very curious. I shall attempt to reconstruct it here ... memory is slightly foggy....
bfast:
pot of yogurt that expired on Feb 3.... it was still good (I think.hope) - 100c
1/4c Good for your mango granola - 100c
coffee with cream x2 - 75c
2 pita bread sammiches with the following split between them - 250c
6oz turkey breast (deli style) - 140c
2T mustard - 5c
2c mixed greens - 25c
2 lite Laughing Cow cheeses - 45c
1/2 can diet coke - 1c
1 pot pineapple custard (from the Asian market) kind of strange - but yummy - 74c
Snack1:
Large half sweet skim milk mocha with whip - 275c
Dinner:
2c autumn squash mix soup - 400c
4 v.small slices rye bread (end bits) - 120c
1T becel - 30c
3oz mozzarella cheese - 100c
3 med dill pickles - 65c
So around 1850 calories (I'm guess at some of these numbers but it should all round its self out).
I feel good even though I was sooo hungry when I got home that I scarfed my food and even ended up drinking the soup out of the bowl because the spoon was too slow. HA!! No piccies today for that reason. teehee
Water: 2.5L today so far. Getting better, but my one calf muscle has been sore and crampy so I know that I have to get more water ASAP!
Exercise: 468 stairs...I haven't done those in a while!! Then power walked home 5km! woot!
So I'm a little sore and tired in the legs today - I do need to get some more sleep and more water. That will help with my mood and my stiffness.
Tomorrow is another running night and... I'm looking forward to jiggling my butt around!
Work was crap, umm more like extreme crap. But it is "work", they DO have to pay me to be there soooo there are going to be times that I'm not as jazzed about being there all the time.
Regardless my eating was better then yesterday - but I was so busy that I didn't get a chance to log my food and track my calories and I would have been very curious. I shall attempt to reconstruct it here ... memory is slightly foggy....
bfast:
pot of yogurt that expired on Feb 3.... it was still good (I think.hope) - 100c
1/4c Good for your mango granola - 100c
coffee with cream x2 - 75c
Lunch:
2 pita bread sammiches with the following split between them - 250c
6oz turkey breast (deli style) - 140c
2T mustard - 5c
2c mixed greens - 25c
2 lite Laughing Cow cheeses - 45c
1/2 can diet coke - 1c
1 pot pineapple custard (from the Asian market) kind of strange - but yummy - 74c
Snack1:
Large half sweet skim milk mocha with whip - 275c
Dinner:
2c autumn squash mix soup - 400c
4 v.small slices rye bread (end bits) - 120c
1T becel - 30c
3oz mozzarella cheese - 100c
3 med dill pickles - 65c
So around 1850 calories (I'm guess at some of these numbers but it should all round its self out).
I feel good even though I was sooo hungry when I got home that I scarfed my food and even ended up drinking the soup out of the bowl because the spoon was too slow. HA!! No piccies today for that reason. teehee
Water: 2.5L today so far. Getting better, but my one calf muscle has been sore and crampy so I know that I have to get more water ASAP!
Exercise: 468 stairs...I haven't done those in a while!! Then power walked home 5km! woot!
So I'm a little sore and tired in the legs today - I do need to get some more sleep and more water. That will help with my mood and my stiffness.
Tomorrow is another running night and... I'm looking forward to jiggling my butt around!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sunday List
I actually woke up BEFORE my alarm today. That, quite frankly, is amazing. I did lay about in bed until it rang anyway - but typically I would sleep until 11 or 12. Today I was up at 10.
Karen... this breakfast is in your honor!
Talapia (YUM), 2 small zucchinis, 5 mushroom all sauteed with oil spray with S&P.
I'm not feeling like going to the gym - my legs are a little tired from my running yesterday (but I'm posting that I'll go here so that I WILL).
Today's list:
Make grocery list; DONE
Gym (1 hour cardio); DONE (did 50min...but extra hard on the elliptical)
Coffee; DONE (coffee and muffin came out to $6.66....the muffin of the beast!! HAHAHA)
Groceries; DONE
Cooking/Food prep for the week; DONE
Living room clean sweep: junk off furniture, sweep floors, mop floors, get rid of all the paper garbage, put papers that need filing into the files; and MOSTLY DONE
Relax; DONE
eat dinner; DOING NOW
read; WILL DO
bed! WILL DO
Bfast:
Fish, zucchinis, mushrooms
1c Almond breeze
2T protein powder
Snack1:
1 med skim milk mocha
1 lrg cranberry bran muffin (of the devil)
Snack2:
1T cottage cheese (while making snacks for lunches)
1 lrg orange
Dinner:
2c mixed greens
6oz turkey deli meat
2T red onion
20 red grapes
2oz mozzarella cubes
2 radishes
1/2c snow peas
1 hard boiled egg
Dressing - 1T extra virgin olive oil and 1T balsamic vinegar
1 whole wheat pita - toasted
1tsp becel
Snack3:
1/2c plain organic yogurt
2T walnuts
1T blueberry wild honey (YUM YUM YUM)
Karen... this breakfast is in your honor!
Talapia (YUM), 2 small zucchinis, 5 mushroom all sauteed with oil spray with S&P.
I'm not feeling like going to the gym - my legs are a little tired from my running yesterday (but I'm posting that I'll go here so that I WILL).
Today's list:
Make grocery list; DONE
Gym (1 hour cardio); DONE (did 50min...but extra hard on the elliptical)
Coffee; DONE (coffee and muffin came out to $6.66....the muffin of the beast!! HAHAHA)
Groceries; DONE
Cooking/Food prep for the week; DONE
Living room clean sweep: junk off furniture, sweep floors, mop floors, get rid of all the paper garbage, put papers that need filing into the files; and MOSTLY DONE
Relax; DONE
eat dinner; DOING NOW
read; WILL DO
bed! WILL DO
Bfast:
Fish, zucchinis, mushrooms
1c Almond breeze
2T protein powder
Snack1:
1 med skim milk mocha
1 lrg cranberry bran muffin (of the devil)
Snack2:
1T cottage cheese (while making snacks for lunches)
1 lrg orange
Dinner:
2c mixed greens
6oz turkey deli meat
2T red onion
20 red grapes
2oz mozzarella cubes
2 radishes
1/2c snow peas
1 hard boiled egg
Dressing - 1T extra virgin olive oil and 1T balsamic vinegar
1 whole wheat pita - toasted
1tsp becel
Snack3:
1/2c plain organic yogurt
2T walnuts
1T blueberry wild honey (YUM YUM YUM)
Sunday, January 18, 2009
"Real" Sunday Post
Today has been good. Very productive and social which was nice.
I ended up walking 6.2km this afternoon between coffee and bookstores (got two) then walking to some more stores (got new runner) then walking to get my groceries and back(it was pretty nice out). I'm actually a little sore - but I think thats mostly from the shoveling yesterday. I could use a hot bath and getting to bed early. Which I'm going to make my plan for this evening. I'm still not good with the water - but the food today has been okay.
Bfast:
1/2c 1% cottage cheese
3/4c almond breeze, 2T protein powder
Snack1:
Large coffee with cream
1 sunshine muffin
Lunch:
2 pita with 2c mixed greens
2 slices turkey (slices breast meat deli style - VERY nice!)
1 tomato
2oz swiss cheese
mustard
Snack2:
4 hearty rye cracker, 1.5T olive oil margarine (new & healthier?!)
That's been all so far today - I'm not hungry right now - but I need to start getting a dinner planned or I'm going to cave and eat something not good. It might be a good omelet night. I could use a little salsa today!
The kitchen is a nightmare - so I'm off to organize it for the week and get my meals & snacks all measured out. If I can manage.... I might just post some fridge p0rn for today as well!!!
Edit:: Dinner has been made, lunch snack have been assembled- kitchen has been cleaned, dishes are washing in the machine! Laundry has been folded, fresh bedding has been put on the bed. Phew!
Decided...that I just couldn't resist having my homemade burgers for dinner again.
Dinner:
2 burgers in pitas
2c greens, 1/2 tomato & 2 slices red onion
2T Mustard (herb, frenches and horseradish mixed)
2T ketchup
Chips: 1 sweet potato (med), 1/2 white potato (med) and 1 sm beet in thin slices - 1.5T oil, cooking spray baked at 450 for 15min - under the broiler for 5min.
YUM YUM YUM
I ended up walking 6.2km this afternoon between coffee and bookstores (got two) then walking to some more stores (got new runner) then walking to get my groceries and back(it was pretty nice out). I'm actually a little sore - but I think thats mostly from the shoveling yesterday. I could use a hot bath and getting to bed early. Which I'm going to make my plan for this evening. I'm still not good with the water - but the food today has been okay.
Bfast:1/2c 1% cottage cheese
3/4c almond breeze, 2T protein powder
Snack1:
Large coffee with cream
1 sunshine muffin
Lunch:
2 pita with 2c mixed greens
2 slices turkey (slices breast meat deli style - VERY nice!)
1 tomato
2oz swiss cheese
mustard
Snack2:
4 hearty rye cracker, 1.5T olive oil margarine (new & healthier?!)
That's been all so far today - I'm not hungry right now - but I need to start getting a dinner planned or I'm going to cave and eat something not good. It might be a good omelet night. I could use a little salsa today!
The kitchen is a nightmare - so I'm off to organize it for the week and get my meals & snacks all measured out. If I can manage.... I might just post some fridge p0rn for today as well!!!
Edit:: Dinner has been made, lunch snack have been assembled- kitchen has been cleaned, dishes are washing in the machine! Laundry has been folded, fresh bedding has been put on the bed. Phew!
Decided...that I just couldn't resist having my homemade burgers for dinner again.
Dinner:
2 burgers in pitas
2c greens, 1/2 tomato & 2 slices red onion
2T Mustard (herb, frenches and horseradish mixed)
2T ketchup
Chips: 1 sweet potato (med), 1/2 white potato (med) and 1 sm beet in thin slices - 1.5T oil, cooking spray baked at 450 for 15min - under the broiler for 5min.
YUM YUM YUM
Friday, January 16, 2009
Friday Win
Today has been good eating wise, and I'm going to get in lots of exercise this weekend as the weather is supposed to be delightful (in comparison with recent weather patterns - aka: cold as the artic arsehole). Not getting enough sleep by any stretch - last night was only 5.5hrs. ug.
Bfast:
coffee with creamers
banana (kashi bar was a miss fire from the factory and was open partially on one end... so it was pretty much a brick and unedible)
Snack1:
lrg skim milk mocha
lunch:
chicken Souvlaki , 2 pita, 2T tzatziki sauce
3/4c greek salad(mostly...errrm...99%) tomato
diet coke
Snack2:
3/4c strawberries
1/3c Activia apple&grain yogurt
Snack3:
pro-atmeal
Dinner:
2 burgers, 2 pita, lots of mixed greens, tomato, onion, mustard, ketchup
sweet potato chips, beet chips (oh yeah, I went there again!!)
Water: 3L woohooo and counting
Exercise:
walked to work 1km/15min
468 stairs to ground floor (4.5min)
Gym - treadmill (going to aim for 3 10min jogging sessions and 20min walking)
walk home - 1.5km/25min
I'm feeling .... snacky.... so tonight getting home without stopping for any extras is going to be difficult. I'm going to get my oatmeal now - so that my orange should fill me up pretty well - or well enough to get me in to the house before I stop somewhere for "treats". Last week it was salty chips and disgusting subway... this weekend I am not going to do that. I was SO UPSET on my weight-in day after stuffing myself all weekend. This one is going to be better!
Edit::
no extra snacks today! OH YEAH!
Bfast:
coffee with creamers
banana (kashi bar was a miss fire from the factory and was open partially on one end... so it was pretty much a brick and unedible)
Snack1:
lrg skim milk mocha
lunch:
chicken Souvlaki , 2 pita, 2T tzatziki sauce
3/4c greek salad(mostly...errrm...99%) tomato
diet coke
Snack2:
3/4c strawberries
1/3c Activia apple&grain yogurt
Snack3:
pro-atmeal
Dinner:
2 burgers, 2 pita, lots of mixed greens, tomato, onion, mustard, ketchup
sweet potato chips, beet chips (oh yeah, I went there again!!)
Water: 3L woohooo and counting
Exercise:
walked to work 1km/15min
468 stairs to ground floor (4.5min)
Gym - treadmill (going to aim for 3 10min jogging sessions and 20min walking)
walk home - 1.5km/25min
I'm feeling .... snacky.... so tonight getting home without stopping for any extras is going to be difficult. I'm going to get my oatmeal now - so that my orange should fill me up pretty well - or well enough to get me in to the house before I stop somewhere for "treats". Last week it was salty chips and disgusting subway... this weekend I am not going to do that. I was SO UPSET on my weight-in day after stuffing myself all weekend. This one is going to be better!
Edit::
no extra snacks today! OH YEAH!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Thursday Nibbles
Okay - today was good. Before work was done I'd finished over 2L...thats Great for me! wooohoo! AND I wasn't peeing like a racehorse all day - Phew, my body is starting to adjust!
Bfast:
Yogurt, Banana
Snack1:
Med skim milk mocha
Lunch:
1c BNS M&C, 1c mixed veggies, 6 pieces sushi (California roll)
Snack2:
Kashi 7 grain bar, lemon pepper tuna (85g), 6 hearty rye crackers, 1T butter
Snack3:
Lrg orange
Dinner:
Sweet potato chips, 2 burgers (home made - extra lean ground beef, 2 eggs, 2c rolled oats, minced onion, Worcester sauce, minced garlic, S&P), 2 whole wheat pita, red onion, 1/2 tomato, mixed greens, mustard & ketchup
Water: 3L
Exercise:
468 stairs to ground floor (4.5min)
Gym - 5min walk 3.0, 10min jog 3.6, 5min walk 2.7, 10min jog 3.6, 15min (45min totally - 2.3km)
Walk home - 1.5km
All in all - pretty good day for food and moving! Now......for some sleep!!!!! zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
Bfast:
Yogurt, Banana
Snack1:
Med skim milk mocha
Lunch:
1c BNS M&C, 1c mixed veggies, 6 pieces sushi (California roll)
Snack2:
Kashi 7 grain bar, lemon pepper tuna (85g), 6 hearty rye crackers, 1T butterSnack3:
Lrg orange
Dinner:
Sweet potato chips, 2 burgers (home made - extra lean ground beef, 2 eggs, 2c rolled oats, minced onion, Worcester sauce, minced garlic, S&P), 2 whole wheat pita, red onion, 1/2 tomato, mixed greens, mustard & ketchup
Water: 3L
Exercise:
468 stairs to ground floor (4.5min)
Gym - 5min walk 3.0, 10min jog 3.6, 5min walk 2.7, 10min jog 3.6, 15min (45min totally - 2.3km)
Walk home - 1.5km
All in all - pretty good day for food and moving! Now......for some sleep!!!!! zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
Wednesdays Blathers
Got my internet back last night - but I had an old friend over for dinner (so not nearly enough blog perving as I would typically enjoy). I cooked for her and it was ALL CLEAN FOOD.... and... she loved it. YAY!! No guilt dinner!
Yesterday was busy busy busy. And... no surprise, I was naughty. I let the head-monsters tell me that "I had been so good that I could have a burger for lunch". I sat at the restaurant and debated getting a salad. Then I flipped a coin and burger won. FOR REAL, I even gave the salad heads!! I should have known better, that if I was that torn, I should have had the salad, but that need to indulge myself was strong and I was weak and full of reasons to let myself fail.
Bfast:
Kashi Bar, Lrg Banana
Snack1:
Skim milk latte
Lunch:
Starter salad - greens with 1 tsp blue cheese dressing, Lrg burger with cheese and bacon, 8 large fries
water
Snack2:
pro-ameal with pumpkin custard
Dinner:
1/4 slice of Acorn squash, 1/5cx spinach, 1 pork loin with 1T applesauce
Dessert (yes...a day of indulgence):
2 servings of pumpkin custard, 2T whip cream, 5 low cal ginger cookies
Water: 3.5L
Exercise:
468 stairs down to ground floor from office, walked home 1km, vigorous cleaning for 35min
Yesterday was busy busy busy. And... no surprise, I was naughty. I let the head-monsters tell me that "I had been so good that I could have a burger for lunch". I sat at the restaurant and debated getting a salad. Then I flipped a coin and burger won. FOR REAL, I even gave the salad heads!! I should have known better, that if I was that torn, I should have had the salad, but that need to indulge myself was strong and I was weak and full of reasons to let myself fail.
Bfast:
Kashi Bar, Lrg Banana
Snack1:
Skim milk latte
Lunch:
Starter salad - greens with 1 tsp blue cheese dressing, Lrg burger with cheese and bacon, 8 large fries
water
Snack2:
pro-ameal with pumpkin custard
Dinner:
1/4 slice of Acorn squash, 1/5cx spinach, 1 pork loin with 1T applesauce
Dessert (yes...a day of indulgence):
2 servings of pumpkin custard, 2T whip cream, 5 low cal ginger cookies
Water: 3.5L
Exercise:
468 stairs down to ground floor from office, walked home 1km, vigorous cleaning for 35min
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Sneaky WI
okay, this morning I hopped up on the scales ... 273.2lbs *does small dance of joy*
So, either that was one huge poop this morning or .....I'm changing my body even though I'm not doing the best job of it.
Anyway, there you go, 273.2!
Now I can't use that 2.8lbs as a buffer zone, or cheat zone for next weight in. HA! take that Me, how do you like that??!! hun hun....yeah, that's what I thought!
Edit::
Right....Mel, Linda, Helen, Katie, Kimberly, and NerdGirl.... this is for you!
ENJOY
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/01/pre_post_dump_weighing_the_toi.php
So, either that was one huge poop this morning or .....I'm changing my body even though I'm not doing the best job of it.
Anyway, there you go, 273.2!
Now I can't use that 2.8lbs as a buffer zone, or cheat zone for next weight in. HA! take that Me, how do you like that??!! hun hun....yeah, that's what I thought!
Edit::
Right....Mel, Linda, Helen, Katie, Kimberly, and NerdGirl.... this is for you!
ENJOY
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/01/pre_post_dump_weighing_the_toi.php
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Sunday Cleaning and Cooking
Well today I have not yet tackled any exercise, but I'm hoping that inspiration will strike me after I'm done in the house. I've done 2 loads of laundry and have been to the store for my fruits & veg for this coming week. Now, to complete the plan, I have a lot of cooking, roasting and preparation to do.
Weeeeeee!!!!!
On the cooking list today:
1. Massive butternut squash Mac&Cheese (double recipe - that stuff freezes well)*
2. Pumpkin pudding (1 weight watchers point per serving!)
3. Roasted brussle sprouts
Snack Packing done:
1. Activia Apple&grain yogurt x6 1/3c
2. 1% cottage cheese x6 1/3c
3. Baby carrots x3 baggies
4. Snap peas x7 baggies
5. Strawberries x2 1c (these are fresh and I topped them and put them in a Ziploc container, I can't wait to get at them!!)
5. Oatmeal/protein powder/flax seed baggies x4
6. 1oz swiss cheese & 1 slice Deli ham roll-up's x4
Weeeeeee!!!!!
On the cooking list today:
1. Massive butternut squash Mac&Cheese (double recipe - that stuff freezes well)*
2. Pumpkin pudding (1 weight watchers point per serving!)
3. Roasted brussle sprouts
Snack Packing done:
1. Activia Apple&grain yogurt x6 1/3c
2. 1% cottage cheese x6 1/3c
3. Baby carrots x3 baggies
4. Snap peas x7 baggies
5. Strawberries x2 1c (these are fresh and I topped them and put them in a Ziploc container, I can't wait to get at them!!)
5. Oatmeal/protein powder/flax seed baggies x4
6. 1oz swiss cheese & 1 slice Deli ham roll-up's x4
In the fruit bowl: (with gratuitous "fruit-moose" shot)
Large navel oranges x5, banana (in various stages of ripeness) x5, Mango x1
In the fridge:
Zucchini, Beets, Sweet potatoes, Red potatoes, Chicken breast thawing, Eggs & whites, swiss cheese, deli ham, Almond breeze, box of mixed spring greens for salads.
In the freezer:
Ground Turkey (for more chickpea-turkey burgers), Various mixed vegetables, bag of berries
Large navel oranges x5, banana (in various stages of ripeness) x5, Mango x1
In the fridge:
Zucchini, Beets, Sweet potatoes, Red potatoes, Chicken breast thawing, Eggs & whites, swiss cheese, deli ham, Almond breeze, box of mixed spring greens for salads.
In the freezer:
Ground Turkey (for more chickpea-turkey burgers), Various mixed vegetables, bag of berries
*note...Mr.K was asking about what size of BNS to get... I advised that I need one about 10inches long and quite thick. Much snickering followed!! When will we grown up? NEVARRRR
So there we have it - I have NO excuses for not getting in good healthy foods for this week. There is lots of great foods that require a little steaming and then are ready for eating.
Foods are made and ready for my lunches, snacks and dinners. I was quite proud yesterday morning that I ate the last orange in the dish - and NONE went bad or had to be tossed out. I've noticed that my fridge - though fuller of greens then ever before has not become a place where veggies go to die. I'm looking at what is in there each night and using the foods that need to be eaten instead of saying, "eff this, I'm ordering pizza".
Speaking of pizza, I was thinking back to last year at this time, my Friday night was "treat night" for me and this is typically what I would have. 1 large double peperoni pizza thin crust (2,800 cal), 2 diet cokes (2 cal), and 1 tub of peanutbutter tracks Ben&Jerry's ice cream (1,440 cal). I can NOT even imagine being able to finish all that anymore. That is 4,242 calories.
HOLY CALORIES BATMAN! Thats 2 days worth of food for me now consumed in one meal - totally under the radar, eaten without even thinking. And not a single nutrient to be found. You want to know what else is funny - I was wondering why my clothes were getting tighter. Its amazing what you can do without even thinking. EVERY Friday... pizza & ice cream night....what a mess!
I'm so glad that I've started changing my life. :)
So there we have it - I have NO excuses for not getting in good healthy foods for this week. There is lots of great foods that require a little steaming and then are ready for eating.
Foods are made and ready for my lunches, snacks and dinners. I was quite proud yesterday morning that I ate the last orange in the dish - and NONE went bad or had to be tossed out. I've noticed that my fridge - though fuller of greens then ever before has not become a place where veggies go to die. I'm looking at what is in there each night and using the foods that need to be eaten instead of saying, "eff this, I'm ordering pizza".
Speaking of pizza, I was thinking back to last year at this time, my Friday night was "treat night" for me and this is typically what I would have. 1 large double peperoni pizza thin crust (2,800 cal), 2 diet cokes (2 cal), and 1 tub of peanutbutter tracks Ben&Jerry's ice cream (1,440 cal). I can NOT even imagine being able to finish all that anymore. That is 4,242 calories.
HOLY CALORIES BATMAN! Thats 2 days worth of food for me now consumed in one meal - totally under the radar, eaten without even thinking. And not a single nutrient to be found. You want to know what else is funny - I was wondering why my clothes were getting tighter. Its amazing what you can do without even thinking. EVERY Friday... pizza & ice cream night....what a mess!
I'm so glad that I've started changing my life. :)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
From the Department Of Minor Accomplishments
Today has been a hair straight back, ears pinned, flat out kinda day. ug.
Sleep - a disappointing 7 hours last night;
Food - fair to middling;
Water intake - poor (correcting that as we speak);
Treat day resistance - High! Assisted ably by the office people that scarf the treats like starving dogs...also we have about 15 new co-op students here and lets just say that they are "very interested" in treat day. I shouldn't have too many worries about left-overs in the kitchen tempting me for more then say 30min once the word is out that there is free food somewhere. haha
bfast:
1c Almond Breeze (how long does a box stay good once its been opened?...perhaps tomorrow I will not drink directly from the carton just.in.case.)
1 colon-rocking baggie of oatmeal, flax & protein powder with 1/2c raspberries
coffee x1.5 med mugs with creamer (yes... I feel the shame of having cream in my coffee again)
Snack1:
Kashi cherry and dark chocolate chip bar
Lunch:
Spicy seafood pho (from the awesome Vietnamese place near the office) & green tea
Snack2:
remainder of 2nd mug of coffee consumed cold while typing this.
med banana
Snack 3: (post workout)
large orange
Kashi Cherry & Dark chocky chip bar
Dinner:
1.5cups Tomato soup
4 small slices rye bread with 2 oz cheese and 2 slices deli meat split between them - lovingly toasted under the broiler for poor mans open face "grilled" cheese sammiches and 1 dill pickle
Snack4:
1/3c cottage cheese, 1tsp cashew nutbutter
Exercise:
post work - 468 stairs down from office to ground floor. CHECK
Then I'm going to give the gym treadmill what for with at least 3 sets of jogging in my 10min on 1 min walking regime. (will likely watch Oprah again) - modified
Walk home from gym (1.5km ish). CHECK
edit::
Didn't get as much cardio in that I was hoping. Also didn't watch Oprah.
8min warm up on the elliptical
22min on the treadmill - 10min at 3.6, 10min at 3.0, 2min at 2.5
stretching
Mr.K is out at the pub quiz night tonight so I'm going to eat and then perv blogs and hopefully be in bed early tonight. Hindsight......errm foresight......"hopefully" isn't really good enough here....TONIGHT I WILL BE IN BED AT 11PM
Sleep - a disappointing 7 hours last night;
Food - fair to middling;
Water intake - poor (correcting that as we speak);
Treat day resistance - High! Assisted ably by the office people that scarf the treats like starving dogs...also we have about 15 new co-op students here and lets just say that they are "very interested" in treat day. I shouldn't have too many worries about left-overs in the kitchen tempting me for more then say 30min once the word is out that there is free food somewhere. haha
bfast:
1c Almond Breeze (how long does a box stay good once its been opened?...perhaps tomorrow I will not drink directly from the carton just.in.case.)
1 colon-rocking baggie of oatmeal, flax & protein powder with 1/2c raspberries
coffee x1.5 med mugs with creamer (yes... I feel the shame of having cream in my coffee again)
Snack1:
Kashi cherry and dark chocolate chip bar
Lunch:
Spicy seafood pho (from the awesome Vietnamese place near the office) & green tea
Snack2:
remainder of 2nd mug of coffee consumed cold while typing this.
med banana
Snack 3: (post workout)
large orange
Kashi Cherry & Dark chocky chip bar
Dinner:
1.5cups Tomato soup
4 small slices rye bread with 2 oz cheese and 2 slices deli meat split between them - lovingly toasted under the broiler for poor mans open face "grilled" cheese sammiches and 1 dill pickle
Snack4:
1/3c cottage cheese, 1tsp cashew nutbutter
Exercise:
post work - 468 stairs down from office to ground floor. CHECK
Then I'm going to give the gym treadmill what for with at least 3 sets of jogging in my 10min on 1 min walking regime. (will likely watch Oprah again) - modified
Walk home from gym (1.5km ish). CHECK
edit::
Didn't get as much cardio in that I was hoping. Also didn't watch Oprah.
8min warm up on the elliptical
22min on the treadmill - 10min at 3.6, 10min at 3.0, 2min at 2.5
stretching
Mr.K is out at the pub quiz night tonight so I'm going to eat and then perv blogs and hopefully be in bed early tonight. Hindsight......errm foresight......"hopefully" isn't really good enough here....TONIGHT I WILL BE IN BED AT 11PM
Treat Day Hell at the office
Today.... its cheese scones, muffins and cookies.
Todays goals are:
1. not have any treats
2. drink +3L water
I can do eeeet!!
edit::
OH YEAH!!! *flips treats the bird* take that treats. I WIN AGAIN!!
me - 2
treats - 0
Todays goals are:
1. not have any treats
2. drink +3L water
I can do eeeet!!
edit::
OH YEAH!!! *flips treats the bird* take that treats. I WIN AGAIN!!
me - 2
treats - 0
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Daily Report
I slept VERY little last night, only 5 hours. I'm bad, very very bad. New books are my downfall and last night I was awake until 1.45 reading, then spent 15min trying to fall asleep. Tonight I'm going to bed very early - reading and sleeping 8+hours. No if, ands, or buts.
I woke up today and my legs were a little warm from the walk home last night - YAY for getting back into it. Tonight... weights and walk home. I have to say that with my increased water drinking, I'm feeling good. I'm still pretty thirsty in the mornings - but I think this is more due to the fact that I'm a mouth breather when I sleep. I used to keep a big glass of water next to the bed and drink it all over the night whenever I'd wake up. But I've gotten out of that habit... not sure if thats for the better or worse?
Bfast:
T's own Oatmeal baggie (1/2 oats, 1T protein powder, 1T flax seeds) ....This my friends... is colon blow...you might want to think about getting to a quiet bathroom after eating.... if you get my drift.
1 med skim milk latte
Lunch:
1c brown&wild rice with 1c green& yellow beans & 1/2 baked chicken breast
1/2 acorn squash. This was totally lush, if you like squash - you should try one. **I'm not particularly hungry today for some reason. This lunch has really filled me up and I don't even want anything else. YAY!!
Snack 1:
med banana & 1/3c 1% cottage cheese
Snack 2:
1/3c Apple&Grain Activia yogurt
1 med skim milk green tea latte
Snack 3:
post workout large orange (it was so yummy)
Dinner:
2 slices deli ham with 2oz low fat swiss cheese (roll ups eaten now cause I'm hungry)
1 sweet potato and 1/2 red potato cut into thin slices and are cooking into chips in the oven with a little bit of pam-spray
2 turkey/chickpea burgers & 1c assorted greens
(splurge) 1T Ketchup for my burgers
Water - 2.2L (one more litre with dinner and the rest of the evening! woot!!)
Exercise:
468 stairs to main floor from office (phew!)
36min on the elliptical machine, 10min stretching
Walked home - 1km approx.
All in all a great day. I'm bloody tired though, so I'm going to read blogs while I wait for my dinner to cook then its off to bed to read and then sleep... a lot!
I woke up today and my legs were a little warm from the walk home last night - YAY for getting back into it. Tonight... weights and walk home. I have to say that with my increased water drinking, I'm feeling good. I'm still pretty thirsty in the mornings - but I think this is more due to the fact that I'm a mouth breather when I sleep. I used to keep a big glass of water next to the bed and drink it all over the night whenever I'd wake up. But I've gotten out of that habit... not sure if thats for the better or worse?
Bfast:
T's own Oatmeal baggie (1/2 oats, 1T protein powder, 1T flax seeds) ....This my friends... is colon blow...you might want to think about getting to a quiet bathroom after eating.... if you get my drift.
1 med skim milk latte
Lunch:
1c brown&wild rice with 1c green& yellow beans & 1/2 baked chicken breast
1/2 acorn squash. This was totally lush, if you like squash - you should try one. **I'm not particularly hungry today for some reason. This lunch has really filled me up and I don't even want anything else. YAY!!
Snack 1:
med banana & 1/3c 1% cottage cheese
Snack 2:
1/3c Apple&Grain Activia yogurt
1 med skim milk green tea latte
Snack 3:
post workout large orange (it was so yummy)
Dinner:
2 slices deli ham with 2oz low fat swiss cheese (roll ups eaten now cause I'm hungry)
1 sweet potato and 1/2 red potato cut into thin slices and are cooking into chips in the oven with a little bit of pam-spray
2 turkey/chickpea burgers & 1c assorted greens
(splurge) 1T Ketchup for my burgers
Water - 2.2L (one more litre with dinner and the rest of the evening! woot!!)
Exercise:
468 stairs to main floor from office (phew!)
36min on the elliptical machine, 10min stretching
Walked home - 1km approx.
All in all a great day. I'm bloody tired though, so I'm going to read blogs while I wait for my dinner to cook then its off to bed to read and then sleep... a lot!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Friday Nosh & Daily Goal
Bfast:
1c Almond Breeze (unsweetened)
1 med banana
2 tsp cashew/macadamia nut butter
1 whole grain wrap
1 c black tea w/ 1/4 tsp local honey
Snack 1:
1 med skim milk latte
Lunch:
1.5c BNS Mac&Cheese
1c mixed greens (asparagus, peas, spinach)
1/2c Apple&Grain Activia yogurt
Water thus far: 2 liters
Snack 2:
2 slices deli ham
1T mustard
1slice low fat swiss cheese
1 whole grain wrap
Dinner:
2 turkey&chickpea burgers
1c brown rice
1c spinach
1T herb mustard
1c Almond Breeze (unsweetened)
1 med banana
2 tsp cashew/macadamia nut butter
1 whole grain wrap
1 c black tea w/ 1/4 tsp local honey
Snack 1:
1 med skim milk latte
Lunch:
1.5c BNS Mac&Cheese
1c mixed greens (asparagus, peas, spinach)
1/2c Apple&Grain Activia yogurt
Water thus far: 2 liters
Snack 2:
2 slices deli ham
1T mustard
1slice low fat swiss cheese
1 whole grain wrap
Dinner:
2 turkey&chickpea burgers
1c brown rice
1c spinach
1T herb mustard
Snack 4:
3/4c oatmeal
1T protein powder
1/2 raspberries
1 banana
Goal today...I'm not too sure. I got up this morning and weighted myself again ... just to make sure that yesterdays weight wasn't some sort of cosmic joke on me.... Nope. 275.6 again. :)
Oh - I know what my goal today is.... Today is a weekend Goal. To drink 3L of water on both Saturday and Sunday. I'm very bad at getting my water in on weekends. I sleep late, get coffee and don't have a water bottle next to me all the time. This weekend... water central!
Friday Introspection & How I am a Liar
I have 32 "perverts" watching me now and I LOVE IT!!! :D thank you all for coming here - stopping in and being along for the ride. Its fabulous.
I have so many things that I want to blog about but every time I buzz through my blog-pervlist I see that you all are already talking about them and doing a damn good job of it.
Its really comforting to see that even though I want to think that my experience is so totally unique and exceptional, I'm bloody wrong. There are people out there struggling with the same issues, challenges, woes and triumphs.
I like it, I like it a lot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish that I was super busy and that I didn't have time to blog and think about this - but I'm going to try and see if getting it out is going to be better then keeping it in.
Last night I made my BNS Mac&Cheese for my friend and her family. I was hoping that she would be as excited as me about it - maybe even beg me for the recipe, rave about how yummy it was, or something... nope. Nothing, nadda. Other then - "thank you for coming by and cooking for us, that was really great to have a night off".
I have to say that it was kind of upsetting to me.
She is my best friend and she is/has been struggling with weight for a long time too. She lost 70lbs on Weight Watchers 3 years ago. Got married, got preggers and now - nearly 2 years since giving birth - she now weighs more then she did when she was 9 months pregnant and has joined the 200+ club and climbing.
This last 12 months I've been trying to get her out with me to run or walk, anything, but she has a million excuses for why she can't. Every time I call its one thing or another. It's a difficult dynamic for me. I've always been the "fat(er) friend" and the one who made excuses. I love that chick to death - but I can't stand her attitude. Although - I think that her attitude bothers me so much .... BECAUSE I used to be just like that.
I have trouble eating at their house now... they have nothing but high fat foods nightly - red meat and white carbs. (last night she couldn't believe that we were going to have a meal with NO MEAT... "wheres the meat??", she was shocked - it was like that damn buger commercial from the 80's). For them its nightly roasts, steaks, sausages with white pasta, white rice and potatoes, always scalloped with cheese or full fat sour cream and butter, or mashed and fried up in some butter, if its chicken - there is gravy, always.
Its sooo weird to see food like that even served! The only green veg they serve is frozen peas and the other is corn (which I don't even consider a veg! even though I love it! ha). On top of that, they have dessert EVERY night.
We ended up eating dinner and watching the Half-Ton Mom on TLC. I was revolted, scared, amazed, sad, wondered, mesmerized, fascinated, sympathetic and disgusted all at the same time. I don't know why watching shows about weight interest me SO much (I also feel the same about shows on anorexics, any sort of extreme body shape I suppose). I guess that I see myself in these shows; the excuses, the mental reasoning, the food lust, out of control behaviors, the fat rolls, the celulite, the distain that they are treated with. All those feeling - they are the same ones that I often have when I look in the mirror. Except that I feel a lot more shame when looking at myself of course.
As we are watching she brings out dessert - a bag of full sized dairy milk chocolate bars, a bag of mini snickers, a bowl of jujubes, and massive 3lbs brick of chocolate and three bags of family sized potato chips all in various stages of eaten (all of them over half gone).
I'll admit, I ate about 12 jujubes, but that was it, not that I didn't want more. But as it was brought out I set my limit and stuck to it. I watched my friend take a full size chocolate bar, and eat 3 mini snickers and a 1/4 bag of chips while drinking a pepsi. This is nothing new to me (either watching her do this - or being there myself), this happens after dinner every time I'm there...2 months ago I would have been wrestling the chips out of her cold dead fingers so that I could have some.
I don't know where I'm really going with this post, other then to say that I'm pretty sad today. I'm sad that she is now living in a body that she hates and is punishing herself with more terrible foods and creating habits that are going to be so hard to break. I'm sad that I feel helpless. I've been there for so many years, and I guess to see her getting worse is totally terrifying to me.
I wish that watching her do this was more inspirational to me to get my act together, but ... for some reason its not. Its not encouraging me to cheat/give up/do the same... but its not the arse kick that I'm looking for either. I guess it gives me that sense that even though I'm changing and making choices and decisions that are better and more sane and I'm that I'm loving this new change... that... I'm one slip away from couch bound helplessness and a bowl of chocolate.
Earlier in the week she emailed to ask me if I wanted to join her (and family) for a lunch out, I had my packed lunch here to eat. I was scared... I didn't know what to do... so I lied ....and said that I had a lunch date already ... I lied because I knew that on that day I would not be able to go to a restaurant and order a salad and be happy watching the rest of the table eat burgers and fries.
Today another friend emailed to ask if I wanted to get together for lunch - I told her that I have a lunch here, but if she wants to meet in the food court, I'll bring mine and we can socialize.
I guess, I'm just going to have to be stronger. Take my moments, pick my battles, and live for me. I can't change anyone else, I can only do better for me.
I have so many things that I want to blog about but every time I buzz through my blog-pervlist I see that you all are already talking about them and doing a damn good job of it.
Its really comforting to see that even though I want to think that my experience is so totally unique and exceptional, I'm bloody wrong. There are people out there struggling with the same issues, challenges, woes and triumphs.
I like it, I like it a lot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish that I was super busy and that I didn't have time to blog and think about this - but I'm going to try and see if getting it out is going to be better then keeping it in.
Last night I made my BNS Mac&Cheese for my friend and her family. I was hoping that she would be as excited as me about it - maybe even beg me for the recipe, rave about how yummy it was, or something... nope. Nothing, nadda. Other then - "thank you for coming by and cooking for us, that was really great to have a night off".
I have to say that it was kind of upsetting to me.
She is my best friend and she is/has been struggling with weight for a long time too. She lost 70lbs on Weight Watchers 3 years ago. Got married, got preggers and now - nearly 2 years since giving birth - she now weighs more then she did when she was 9 months pregnant and has joined the 200+ club and climbing.
This last 12 months I've been trying to get her out with me to run or walk, anything, but she has a million excuses for why she can't. Every time I call its one thing or another. It's a difficult dynamic for me. I've always been the "fat(er) friend" and the one who made excuses. I love that chick to death - but I can't stand her attitude. Although - I think that her attitude bothers me so much .... BECAUSE I used to be just like that.
I have trouble eating at their house now... they have nothing but high fat foods nightly - red meat and white carbs. (last night she couldn't believe that we were going to have a meal with NO MEAT... "wheres the meat??", she was shocked - it was like that damn buger commercial from the 80's). For them its nightly roasts, steaks, sausages with white pasta, white rice and potatoes, always scalloped with cheese or full fat sour cream and butter, or mashed and fried up in some butter, if its chicken - there is gravy, always.
Its sooo weird to see food like that even served! The only green veg they serve is frozen peas and the other is corn (which I don't even consider a veg! even though I love it! ha). On top of that, they have dessert EVERY night.
We ended up eating dinner and watching the Half-Ton Mom on TLC. I was revolted, scared, amazed, sad, wondered, mesmerized, fascinated, sympathetic and disgusted all at the same time. I don't know why watching shows about weight interest me SO much (I also feel the same about shows on anorexics, any sort of extreme body shape I suppose). I guess that I see myself in these shows; the excuses, the mental reasoning, the food lust, out of control behaviors, the fat rolls, the celulite, the distain that they are treated with. All those feeling - they are the same ones that I often have when I look in the mirror. Except that I feel a lot more shame when looking at myself of course.
As we are watching she brings out dessert - a bag of full sized dairy milk chocolate bars, a bag of mini snickers, a bowl of jujubes, and massive 3lbs brick of chocolate and three bags of family sized potato chips all in various stages of eaten (all of them over half gone).
I'll admit, I ate about 12 jujubes, but that was it, not that I didn't want more. But as it was brought out I set my limit and stuck to it. I watched my friend take a full size chocolate bar, and eat 3 mini snickers and a 1/4 bag of chips while drinking a pepsi. This is nothing new to me (either watching her do this - or being there myself), this happens after dinner every time I'm there...2 months ago I would have been wrestling the chips out of her cold dead fingers so that I could have some.
I don't know where I'm really going with this post, other then to say that I'm pretty sad today. I'm sad that she is now living in a body that she hates and is punishing herself with more terrible foods and creating habits that are going to be so hard to break. I'm sad that I feel helpless. I've been there for so many years, and I guess to see her getting worse is totally terrifying to me.
I wish that watching her do this was more inspirational to me to get my act together, but ... for some reason its not. Its not encouraging me to cheat/give up/do the same... but its not the arse kick that I'm looking for either. I guess it gives me that sense that even though I'm changing and making choices and decisions that are better and more sane and I'm that I'm loving this new change... that... I'm one slip away from couch bound helplessness and a bowl of chocolate.
Earlier in the week she emailed to ask me if I wanted to join her (and family) for a lunch out, I had my packed lunch here to eat. I was scared... I didn't know what to do... so I lied ....and said that I had a lunch date already ... I lied because I knew that on that day I would not be able to go to a restaurant and order a salad and be happy watching the rest of the table eat burgers and fries.
Today another friend emailed to ask if I wanted to get together for lunch - I told her that I have a lunch here, but if she wants to meet in the food court, I'll bring mine and we can socialize.
I guess, I'm just going to have to be stronger. Take my moments, pick my battles, and live for me. I can't change anyone else, I can only do better for me.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Todays Nosh
Today… my legs are feeling the stairs that I did yesterday, little bit tight and sore, but good in that good hurt kind of way. I went down them again to get my coffee this morning!! I'm not going to be walking home from work, since I'm still carrying a residual cold that I want to kick, so I need to get my exercise in where I can. Food today thus far has been good:
Bfast: 1cup unsweetened almond breeze, 1 pkg oatmeal, 3/4c frozen raspberries
Snack: 1 med skim milk latte (+ 468 stairs), 1/2c apple&grain activia yogurt
Lunch: 1c Autumn harvest soup, 1c chickpea salad, 3 hearty rye crackers, 1 tin Jalapeno lime tuna (I only ate 2 small bites…very disappointed in the taste…damn it I bought 4 cans thinking that I would love it)
Snack 2: 1 Kashi 7grain bar, 1c Gerber apple&cinnamon stars
Snack 3: (potential banana), 1/2c 1% cottage cheese
I'm finished all my lunch, but I'm feeling….peckish, or snacky or something….I can't quite figure it out - but I'm not satisfied. Ug.
Ahh, I can see what it is. I'm not really getting filled up with the fibre today. Raspberries, were the only fruit/veg I had today until lunch. The soup - a good serving of carrot and squash - was in liquid form. I'm going to drink some more water and see if the beans don't start to make me feel fuller in 10min, I'll head down to the one little shop in our building that sells healthy foods and get a banana to have with my cottage cheese.
I don't have much planned for dinner, but I was reading Lyn at Escape from Obesity lots today and I think that the Butternut Mac&Cheese might just be what I need on a cold miserable day like today for my dinner. Is cheese clean eating?? I'm going to go with a yes on this one...its milk made cheesy...I'll get some good sharp Cheddar nothing crazy processed and some great wholewheat noodles that I love. I actually can not stand to eat white/regular noodles anymore - they taste so .... pasty.
Edit:: If you have not made this dish yet... DO IT! yum yum yum!
Bfast: 1cup unsweetened almond breeze, 1 pkg oatmeal, 3/4c frozen raspberries
Snack: 1 med skim milk latte (+ 468 stairs), 1/2c apple&grain activia yogurt
Lunch: 1c Autumn harvest soup, 1c chickpea salad, 3 hearty rye crackers, 1 tin Jalapeno lime tuna (I only ate 2 small bites…very disappointed in the taste…damn it I bought 4 cans thinking that I would love it)
Snack 2: 1 Kashi 7grain bar, 1c Gerber apple&cinnamon stars
Snack 3: (potential banana), 1/2c 1% cottage cheese
I'm finished all my lunch, but I'm feeling….peckish, or snacky or something….I can't quite figure it out - but I'm not satisfied. Ug.
Ahh, I can see what it is. I'm not really getting filled up with the fibre today. Raspberries, were the only fruit/veg I had today until lunch. The soup - a good serving of carrot and squash - was in liquid form. I'm going to drink some more water and see if the beans don't start to make me feel fuller in 10min, I'll head down to the one little shop in our building that sells healthy foods and get a banana to have with my cottage cheese.
I don't have much planned for dinner, but I was reading Lyn at Escape from Obesity lots today and I think that the Butternut Mac&Cheese might just be what I need on a cold miserable day like today for my dinner. Is cheese clean eating?? I'm going to go with a yes on this one...its milk made cheesy...I'll get some good sharp Cheddar nothing crazy processed and some great wholewheat noodles that I love. I actually can not stand to eat white/regular noodles anymore - they taste so .... pasty.
Edit:: If you have not made this dish yet... DO IT! yum yum yum!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
The Gauntlet has been thrown down
Katschi has challenged me to a six week long eating clean challenge. In a serendipitous moment...this is what I bought for myself for Christmas while out shopping yesterday.
I had been thinking about getting some more ideas about what to eat and I just happened to see this little gem.
Not only did it contain the inspiration for the ground turkey that I have in my freezer for my dinner tonight (ground turkey/chickpea burgers) it has some amazing foods in here! I was surprised. Its my reading after I'm done posting this and then I'm making a list and heading to the grocery store for supplies.
I will admit, I turned on the computer this morning and found the comment from Kastchi asking if I wanted to join her on a six week eating clean journey. My pulse raced, my palms got sweaty. I was scared.... what if I can't do it, what will I do over Christmas at my Mums, how will I feel if I fail or cheat... I don't have the time, I can't manage to get all that food cooked, what if ....what if.... what if...
I have accepted the challenge. As I made my breakfast I decided that this is really a great thing for me. When I make up my mind to eat better and not cheat, I do. But I certainly don't tell myself "No" enough. The scale doesn't lie. I'm 2-1 with the weigh-ins now and I'm afraid tomorrow the scales are going to even the score to 2-2. For all my BS blogging about what I want and how I want to lose weight, I'm doing a pretty shabby job of it.
I started blogging and the entitled attitude has slowly but continuously crept back in. I'm being "good", I should get some jellybeans/ice cream/chocolate/have a Burger and fries for lunch ad nausium.
I admit that I don't think that I'm going to be able to manage to eat clean for 6 weeks with the Christmas holidays squashed in there (EXCUSE ALERT). HOWEVER.....This is what I will promise:
That I'm going to give this 100% effort, and see if there is some way that I CAN manage and then enjoy each little victory. I'm bringing dessert to Christmas dinner, I'm in charge of what goes in my mouth, and I am going to try as hard as possible to eat what is good for my body and not what my mind tells me that I need.
I had been thinking about getting some more ideas about what to eat and I just happened to see this little gem.
Not only did it contain the inspiration for the ground turkey that I have in my freezer for my dinner tonight (ground turkey/chickpea burgers) it has some amazing foods in here! I was surprised. Its my reading after I'm done posting this and then I'm making a list and heading to the grocery store for supplies.
I will admit, I turned on the computer this morning and found the comment from Kastchi asking if I wanted to join her on a six week eating clean journey. My pulse raced, my palms got sweaty. I was scared.... what if I can't do it, what will I do over Christmas at my Mums, how will I feel if I fail or cheat... I don't have the time, I can't manage to get all that food cooked, what if ....what if.... what if...
I have accepted the challenge. As I made my breakfast I decided that this is really a great thing for me. When I make up my mind to eat better and not cheat, I do. But I certainly don't tell myself "No" enough. The scale doesn't lie. I'm 2-1 with the weigh-ins now and I'm afraid tomorrow the scales are going to even the score to 2-2. For all my BS blogging about what I want and how I want to lose weight, I'm doing a pretty shabby job of it.
I started blogging and the entitled attitude has slowly but continuously crept back in. I'm being "good", I should get some jellybeans/ice cream/chocolate/have a Burger and fries for lunch ad nausium.
I admit that I don't think that I'm going to be able to manage to eat clean for 6 weeks with the Christmas holidays squashed in there (EXCUSE ALERT). HOWEVER.....This is what I will promise:
That I'm going to give this 100% effort, and see if there is some way that I CAN manage and then enjoy each little victory. I'm bringing dessert to Christmas dinner, I'm in charge of what goes in my mouth, and I am going to try as hard as possible to eat what is good for my body and not what my mind tells me that I need.
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