weekly recap

Walking
Monday - 8.5
Tuesday - 5
Wednesday - 6.5
Thursday - 8.5
Friday - 5
Saturday - 5
Sunday - 0
TOTAL - 38.5km

I'm pretty happy with that! That's awesome actually! :) The morning walks are good for the body and the mind. Sadly, I have to move out of this little place with my friend at the end of the month here and I'm moving in with my other friends... they are TERRIBLE (junky, fatty and dessert every night) eaters... so I'll save that rant for another day as well.

Food
total crap! that's all I have to say about that. I have no excuses for what I've been eating. I have to get that under control ASAP... I need a week of salad!

Water
Slightly better

Sleep
excellent-ish, been getting a good 8+ hours a night. Its been bliss

Tomorrow I will write about the hellish Friday and continuing on through the weekend... I had a little accident in the bathroom and its a good tale to tell... but I'll save it!

Sunday Cleaning and Cooking

Well today I have not yet tackled any exercise, but I'm hoping that inspiration will strike me after I'm done in the house. I've done 2 loads of laundry and have been to the store for my fruits & veg for this coming week. Now, to complete the plan, I have a lot of cooking, roasting and preparation to do.

Weeeeeee!!!!!

On the cooking list today:
1. Massive butternut squash Mac&Cheese (double recipe - that stuff freezes well)*
2. Pumpkin pudding (1 weight watchers point per serving!)
3. Roasted brussle sprouts

Snack Packing done:
1. Activia Apple&grain yogurt x6 1/3c
2. 1% cottage cheese x6 1/3c
3. Baby carrots x3 baggies
4. Snap peas x7 baggies
5. Strawberries x2 1c (these are fresh and I topped them and put them in a Ziploc container, I can't wait to get at them!!)
5. Oatmeal/protein powder/flax seed baggies x4
6. 1oz swiss cheese & 1 slice Deli ham roll-up's x4

In the fruit bowl: (with gratuitous "fruit-moose" shot)
Large navel oranges x5, banana (in various stages of ripeness) x5, Mango x1

In the fridge:
Zucchini, Beets, Sweet potatoes, Red potatoes, Chicken breast thawing, Eggs & whites, swiss cheese, deli ham, Almond breeze, box of mixed spring greens for salads.

In the freezer:
Ground Turkey (for more chickpea-turkey burgers), Various mixed vegetables, bag of berries

*note...Mr.K was asking about what size of BNS to get... I advised that I need one about 10inches long and quite thick. Much snickering followed!! When will we grown up? NEVARRRR

So there we have it - I have NO excuses for not getting in good healthy foods for this week. There is lots of great foods that require a little steaming and then are ready for eating.
Foods are made and ready for my lunches, snacks and dinners. I was quite proud yesterday morning that I ate the last orange in the dish - and NONE went bad or had to be tossed out. I've noticed that my fridge - though fuller of greens then ever before has not become a place where veggies go to die. I'm looking at what is in there each night and using the foods that need to be eaten instead of saying, "eff this, I'm ordering pizza".

Speaking of pizza, I was thinking back to last year at this time, my Friday night was "treat night" for me and this is typically what I would have. 1 large double peperoni pizza thin crust (2,800 cal), 2 diet cokes (2 cal), and 1 tub of peanutbutter tracks Ben&Jerry's ice cream (1,440 cal). I can NOT even imagine being able to finish all that anymore. That is 4,242 calories.

HOLY CALORIES BATMAN! Thats 2 days worth of food for me now consumed in one meal - totally under the radar, eaten without even thinking. And not a single nutrient to be found. You want to know what else is funny - I was wondering why my clothes were getting tighter. Its amazing what you can do without even thinking. EVERY Friday... pizza & ice cream night....what a mess!

I'm so glad that I've started changing my life. :)

Midweek Slump

Last night I didn't get to bed on time, in fact it was later then usual and I managed 5.5hrs of sleep last night. I did get in my 3L of water though, bonus.

The house is a rubbish heap, the kitchen is a disaster zone... I've noticed that as I eat better and better there is more and more and MORE dishes, Tupperware and implements that are collecting in the sink and spreading rapidly to the counter.

I packed a lunch for today... but tonight I can tell is a danger time for me. I can feel it right now... another crazed day at the office. My frustration level is off the charts and I've not eaten anything that makes me feel both full and satisfied mentally. Thats the kicker... why must food be the thing that makes me "feel good". ug.

Dinner tonight is going to have to be something that I cook ... and I know that I'm not in the mood to do that today. I can feel the urge to bury myself is a sugar coated coma right now. I'm not too sure what to do to get that to pass.

Bfast:
1c Almond breeze
1/3c 1%cottage cheese + small banana
Snack1:
1 med skim milk mocha (with whip cream)
Lunch:
4 slices rye bread, 3 slices deli ham, 2oz low fat swiss cheese, 1T mustard, 1 large tomato
Snack 2:
1/3c Activia Apple&Grain yogurt
Snack 3:
Lemon Pepper Tuna
small coffee with 2 mini creamers
Dinner:
3oz Mozzarella cheese
2c tomato soup
6 hearty rye crackers
1T becel

Water: a measly 800ml at the moment, getting more now.

Todays Nosh

Today… my legs are feeling the stairs that I did yesterday, little bit tight and sore, but good in that good hurt kind of way. I went down them again to get my coffee this morning!! I'm not going to be walking home from work, since I'm still carrying a residual cold that I want to kick, so I need to get my exercise in where I can. Food today thus far has been good:


Bfast: 1cup unsweetened almond breeze, 1 pkg oatmeal, 3/4c frozen raspberries
Snack: 1 med skim milk latte (+ 468 stairs), 1/2c apple&grain activia yogurt
Lunch: 1c Autumn harvest soup, 1c chickpea salad, 3 hearty rye crackers, 1 tin Jalapeno lime tuna (I only ate 2 small bites…very disappointed in the taste…damn it I bought 4 cans thinking that I would love it)
Snack 2: 1 Kashi 7grain bar, 1c Gerber apple&cinnamon stars
Snack 3: (potential banana), 1/2c 1% cottage cheese

I'm finished all my lunch, but I'm feeling….peckish, or snacky or something….I can't quite figure it out - but I'm not satisfied. Ug.

Ahh, I can see what it is. I'm not really getting filled up with the fibre today. Raspberries, were the only fruit/veg I had today until lunch. The soup - a good serving of carrot and squash - was in liquid form. I'm going to drink some more water and see if the beans don't start to make me feel fuller in 10min, I'll head down to the one little shop in our building that sells healthy foods and get a banana to have with my cottage cheese.

I don't have much planned for dinner, but I was reading Lyn at Escape from Obesity lots today and I think that the Butternut Mac&Cheese might just be what I need on a cold miserable day like today for my dinner. Is cheese clean eating?? I'm going to go with a yes on this one...its milk made cheesy...I'll get some good sharp Cheddar nothing crazy processed and some great wholewheat noodles that I love. I actually can not stand to eat white/regular noodles anymore - they taste so .... pasty.


Edit:: If you have not made this dish yet... DO IT! yum yum yum!

Sunday Sinning

Well, I wish that I could say that I've been good this weekend and done all the right things and not eaten badly. But I haven't, I've been bad.

I'm freaked out about my weigh-in tomorrow, and I will not be surprised to have gained back what I have lost in the last 2 weeks. Sadly, the good brain has told me to stop, but I still decided that it was much nicer to keep munching.

The offending treats arrived here via an office auction where I bid on a basket of goodies in the spirit of charity (and re-gifting). I bid, quite low actually, with the hope that I would LOSE. Sadly, I won. It stayed intact for 2 weeks, until this weekend when I thought that I should break it up and get everything into piles for re-gifting (HA! how cheap is that?! the good 'ol Scottish side of me coming out).

WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!!! "hello, I'm a recovering coke addict, but I'm just going to cut this blow into lines so that you all can snort."

Needless to say, I've eaten more of it then I would care to admit. I managed to throw away most of the treats before I eat it all. Typically stuffing in my mouth while I dumped the rest into the trashcan.

The numbers will tell me tomorrow what I know already, that unless I really want to change and make sacrifices, that I'm not going to make any headway. I've been reading lots of blogs and watching everyone's triumphs and set-backs and seen how much attitude has to do with success. Mine stinks at teh moment.

I had a very strange moment in the mirror today. I noticed that yesterday I was looking at myself and seeing the progress and feeling good. Today (with a poor mental shift) I caught a glimpse of myself and was appalled by my troll-esk dumpy fat appearance. Holy fun house-mirror mind. :( .....but there is NO WAY that my body has changed that much overnight that I can go from okay to ogre in 12 hours???? .... I mean, I ate too much but it wasn't THAT much.

That's enough of that for now. On to the good news.

I found this pumpkin custard recipe at both Lyns and Debbies blogs a while ago and I finally got the chance to try it out. AND I found Almond breeze, Katschi I can't even tell you how excited I am to try this out!!!!

In my oven right now is baking:

PUMPKIN CUSTARD
In a bowl mix together:
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup splenda (I found Splenda-brown sugar and used 1/2c of that)
1 tsp cinnamon (didn't have any of that... where the h. e. double hockey sticks did it go?)
1/2 tsp allspice (nope)
1/4 tsp ground ginger (YES...put in extra to make up for no all-spice and cinnamon)
1/2 tsp salt (yes)
Then add:
1/2 c egg beaters, or 4 egg whites
1 15 ounce can pumpkin
Mix tog. using a wire whisk.
Slowly add:
1 1/2 cups original or unsweetened vanilla almond breeze (40-60 cal/cup)
Pour into a 9 or 10 inch pie plate sprayed with pam. Bake at 350 degrees for 40-50 minutes. Center is slightly wiggly when you bump it. Cool to room temp, then cover and refrigerate.
Cut into wedges to serve, or just scoop into a bowl to eat like pudding. You can serve w/ a bit of lite reddi-whip or lite cool whip on top.

Tonight's dinner is going to be all veggies. Another giant salad with everything that I can think of in the fridge. And water water water, and then some tea.

Sorry - this is going to be one long weekend post.

I've also been considering my goals. There were some other people that put their lack of goals up and its been making me think about mine. Also I found this great blog, Gettn' Shrunk, that made me think that I've really should have set my goal weight lower. Her tagline is "Those who believe they can do something are probably right — and so are those who believe they can’t."

I wonder if I'm putting in a full effort, or if I'm really just waiting to fail like all other times that I've set out to lose weight. I hate to think that this is what I'm thinking at my very core, but I think that I might be. So, I need to change that asap.

"The will to prepare to win, is more important then the will to win".

I guess I've been trying to fool myself into thinking that "its not that bad, and I'm just a little overweight" bla bla. But really, I need to lose a lot of weight. I need to lose 100lbs.

There...I said it. One Hundred Pounds.

I should be 180lbs, but I'm not. I've covered myself in 100lbs of fat and to take that off I'm going to have to change my life, my attitude, my ideas and what I think about myself. This will be the hardest, most spectacular thing that I ever do for myself, for my partner, my family, and my potential children.

A challenge. I have to prepare to win this more then just wanting to be thin. I need to prepare my food, prepare my mind and prepare my body to shed 100lbs from my frame, and then once I do that... I need to be able to see what has happened and enjoy it, revel in it and manage my life from there forward.

Easily said. I guess that it all starts here and now. 100lbs. :)